Ben Dover's sexucational class: lesson 1

Discussion in 'IWT Archives' started by Ovaldinho, Jul 3, 2013.

  1. Ben: If you're reading this, you are either;
    • Here to bask in the glory of my articulation
    • Are a virgin and want to get tips from the master
    • Because you want to moan like a bitch because I'm cool and you're a jealous prick
    • You're a member of the Cure and you have SWAG!
    Today, I will give you a preview into what I want to do with this.

    Here in the IWT Roster, I see potential as far as God's eye could possibly ever see. But many of these people e.g. Joey Bryant, Jacob Colton are letting themselves get dragged down; they are infected with Mediocrititis and it could become terminal!

    If they read this and continue to attend my lessons, then perhaps they can retain their swagger and not look like jokes!

    Before we conclude this opening lesson, I will explain the necessity of sex:

    Sex is WHAT KEEPS THE ECOSYSTEM GOING
    Sex is WHAT HELPS RELIEVES STRESS
    Sex is HOW YOU EXPRESS LOVE TO SOMEONE
    Sex is.... what makes you Powerful!

    Sex is money
    Sex is dominance
    Sex is confidence
    SEX IS.....LIFE

    Oblivious virgins like Jacob and Joey are to naive and egotistical to understand this and for that I will obliterate both of those knobjockeys!

    But hey; Jacob and Joe, No need to feel bitter or jealous nerds, I will cure your disease, and in return you will worship me!

    You will worship Jwab Atom
    You will worship Antonio Alias
    You will worship Mystical George
    YOU WILL WORSHIP ME; BEN DOVER!

    YOU ARE GOING TO WORSHIP THE CURE THAT WILL SET YOU FREE FROM MEDIOCRITY!

    Come back for lesson 2 where I explain how men who have more sex are more athletic! <3
     
  2. Farooq and Jessica stare at the screen with disbelief as a "TV-MA" parental rating appears on the screen. "There goes IWT's USA cable deal...."
     
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  3. "Looks like we'll be sticking to iPPVs for now on....."
     
  4. "Andddd my appearance on Kennan and Kel just got canceled...I have a feeling this company is gonn--" Farooq was about to finish until he saw a feminist being dragged out by security.