Clair Lynch is mad hot. Photo inside

Discussion in 'TNA iMPACT! (2011-2015)' started by Dolph'sZiggler, Aug 3, 2012.

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    Surprise, it's my TNA Impact Review for 8/2

    Immediately TNA does something that puts me in the mood for wrestling. DirecTV is kind enough to let me know that on this episode of Impact that "Kurt Angle battles James Storm!"- So I'm thinking, shit, sounds awesome. (It sort of has the opposite effect of "John Cena takes on the Big Show. <<Click Here>>")

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    Impact opens and already my plums are tingling. King/Aries are beating the shit out of Ion/Roode down the ramp and towards the ring. Wow, this is awesome. I love when Impact opens with a match, and I definitely wasn't expecting this to open. I would have loved seeing this in the main event, but awesome nonetheless. Aries flies off the top down onto Roode, throws him back in, and the match finally starts.

    Sidenote: Kenny King is still the boss of all bosses

    Aries and King just gave Ion a double airplane spin :dawg: . Such badasses. King's bottom rope springboard legdrop is fresh. It's awesome to see TNA putting King in an opening segment tag match with Roode and Aries so soon. He will be X Division Champ very soon, and I love it.

    Ion is getting fucked up lmao. King and Aries are putting it on his ass.

    Earl Hebner just got bumped into pretty hard and didn't flop over. I was thinking that was a weird spot in the match for a ref bump lol.. he must have just been in the way. I'll forgive him though because it's probably awkward for him reffing a match when he has his boner wastebanded because he was getting an HJ from Madison backstage a minute ago

    Now Roode is being a boss. This is a great match thus far, as the heels take control. Roode spits on Aries and pokes King in the eyes :jake:

    Commercial break. Aries hot tag to follow.

    Roode pushing King off the turnbuckle lol. He's such a mean bastard. I love him. Badass suplex from King. Here comes Aries. Oh but Roode distracted Hebner. Jesus Roode you are the man. Best heel in wrestling.

    SHITT FACTOR CHANTS LMAO. This opener is officially amazing. I mark for shit factor chants.

    Aries missile drop kick on Roode followed by a suicide dive, and then King finishes off Ion. King's finisher looks vicious on poor little Ion. Just give King the belt at the next PPV. No sense in waiting, the guy was built to be an x Division star.

    10/10 opener. I loved it all.

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    Not a fan of Aces and Eights, but I sort of like the angle of them making it seem like Storm may be behind it. He obviously isn't, but Storm plays the 'hey fuck you I'm not behind this" role so well.

    Sting time. This could be good or bad. NM, here comes Storm, which means this will be good. Storm looking like The Dude right now lol. Pretty good stuff from Storm as you'd expect. That awkward moment when you bring up a current faces heel past... and here comes Angle. It's nice when the BFG Series matches get some build up, so I'm for this.

    Ass Kicking Party. Sting will be ring side? I'm now feeling this match a little less than I was earlier. I just hope Aces and Eights stay away long enough that we get a finish first and not a useless ass DQ in the main event.

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    TNA thinks I give a fuck that AJ Styles is tweeting from Australia :finger:

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    Clair/AJ recap :finger:

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    Goddamn Daniels is a boss with that scarf and sipping his appletini :jeritroll:

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    Bully Ray time. :sonnen: Wait, he wants to be ringside for the clusterfuck ME as well? meh

    Big Rob and Bigger Rob. Should be some points for Bully.

    lmao @ Bully's tweet. "Ridin my #twittermatchine to the ring right now. TURN ON SPIKE TV and watch me beat the crap outta dat Jersey jerkoff!!"

    he is such a social media whore. 3D and quick win for Bully :obama: . Bully needs to be in the top 4.

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    Gail cock blocking Madison? What a bitch.

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    4 way #1 contenders match for Jawmacher's title.

    Crowd loves Tara, as does Tessmacher. I wish they would just go all the way with this Tessmacher/Tara lesbian angle.

    Madison should win this, and then win the title via Hebner shenanigans.

    Gail.. sadly your time has passed. You are just a jobber for now. Mickie looking fineeeeeeeeee as fuck. hnnnnnggggggg.

    This match actually has a fuckton of potential. Gail and Maddie just did a chest bump :dafuq: . "Look at these women.. they are just dominating each other.."- Lesbomacher

    Gail with a beast ass superplex on Tara. gatdam.

    annnnnd Earl helps Maddie win :haha: . Not a great match, but it wasn't boring or anything. Lezmacher is diabolical on commentary lol

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    Roode + Aries RSVP to the ass kicking party

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    Awful segment with Sting and Brooke

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    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    CHAVOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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    f u EY & ODB

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    Kid Kash vs Chavo. :fap: .

    I could do without Hernandez.. I'm sure this means Gunner will come out to help his fellow sleeve tattoo enthusiast Kid Kash.

    3 suplexes and a frog splash and Chavo has officially sopped the IZ's panties. I expected Gunner to get involved and set up a tag match a the PPV, but I"m glad he didn't.

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    I was about to praise TNA for the lack of Clair tonight, and then they announce Daniels and Kaz are throwing a baby shower... next... :facepalm1:

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    Lance Briscoe? Devon (With his TV title he defends every week...) ... And Baby Bischoff? boo this segment

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    smh @ this segment. Daniels will probably make it watchable, but still. Fuck this.

    lmao, Clair is always just chilling in the audience, like she is a diehard TNA fan rofl.

    lol autographed pictures of Daniels for the baby. Very thoughtful.

    Hoeski chants? and it's over. Segment was exactly what I expected. A couple of chuckles from Daniels and that's it. Fuck you clair and fuck your kayfabe unborn baby. Pointless segment

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    JOSEPH PARK!!!!

    omg roflmfao. Sting just killed me. 'Your gonna kayfabe me? kayfabe kayfabe". while Park is standing there like a mark. I love the Park/Abyss angle. They are very slowly hinting more and more at Park being Abyss. it's perfect

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    Pope gets a match next week, + Bully vs Storm and Angle vs AJ. nice

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    SORRY. ABOUT YOUR DAMN LUCK.

    Main Event time. wtf? where is the party? Bully, Aries, Roode, Sting.. did they get invited to a cooler party? But they had already RSVPd. assholes

    oh nm, here comes Sting. Bischoff in his trademark sweat pants and Devon in some skinny jeans.

    Fairly boring match, more focus on the guys creeping to ringside from all over the place.

    not sure what to say about that finish. Storm in the ankle lock for about a half an hour and then gets out, super kick, win. meh. Not too crazy about it but I don't completely hate it.

    wow, really weak ending. Storm calls out A&8s, nothing happens, Bully randomly attacks Storm, Roode and Aries join in and they go off air. lame. Awesome show before a pretty weak main event and awful ending. I enjoyed it throughout, but think it's pretty weak that they spent the entire show building towards the main event and it was that uneventful
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. No one cares for this. :haha:

    Nice review, always classy. :obama:

    Btw, that Claire is one mad bitch.
     
  3. Best surprise ever :yay:
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Nice review bro.
     
  5. Yea my title didn't draw in people lol.. also it seems like not many people watched Impact this week or they just don't feel like discussing it.

    my least successful review thread ever :upset:
     
  6. Haha this is the best accident i've ever had the pleasure of having here at WWEF. :haha: :pipebomb:

    Seriously so damn funny. That pic is horrific.