Storyline Dat Church From Jersey is now in session

Discussion in 'IWT Archives' started by Dat Kid, Dec 24, 2013.

  1. Dat Kid's concubines scurry throughout the arena and throw flower pedals everywhere in a hurry before Dat Kid arrives. They all looked frightened as they line up at the ramp. Dat Kid is carried in on a sedan chair by four homeless men. Kid looks at the ring and is obviously in a foul mood. The men lower him to the apron and Kid gets up, tosses a loaf of bread and the homeless men fight over it.

    Dat Kid raises his cane to speak and looks at the crowd with disdain.

    Today you have all gathered here in worship of me, so as much as I don't want to be here in this Dat Kid-forsaken town, I am here to deliver a service to all of you people.

    Now I know, all of you are confused right now as am I. After the salvation of one @gav the chav , three heathens disrespected the House of God! They laid their filthy little hands on God himself! But God stood up and raised his arms in victory and he said "NO! I SHALL NOT BE PHASED!" God knew the most important people was his loyal congregation, as filthy as you all are.

    One sinner, @Trip in the Head a former servant of mine attacked me out of jealousy as he so beastly admitted. He was like a lost child without my guidance. I though I had saved him, but the moment I left him alone he fell off the path of salvation. Trip, all you had to do was express your inferior emotions and I would have accepted you with my love. Now, you have defied God and for that you will burn in hell with your demon brethren. One scum who no one knows, leeching off of people of former glory and a former respected member of the IWT who lost it all to sleep with a mentally retarded person. God's mistake.

    A mistake that I seek to rectify at the Slammy's in less than a month. Frank has been a blight on this company and in the world in general. It is my duty to beat him within an inch of nonexistence and then let him squirm in obscurity, like he should have one year ago.

    Let us pray:

    Dat Kid,
    I know I am unworthy of your attention, but please I am lost and without hope. Three sinners have directly defied you in your own home. I am weak and I could not stop it, so please Dat Kid, end them. End their pathetic lives and meaningless ploys to gain a voice in the world. Break their necks so they can not compete in the IWT! Bust their skulls open and let them paint the arena with their blood! SACRIFICE THEIR BODIES SO THAT THE WORLD MAY KNOW NOT TO FUCK WITH GOD! IN THE NAME OF THE LORD AND SAVIOR, JERSEY CHRIST!

    Dat Kid is boiling red after the prayer. He takes a moment to calm down.

    I assume you've all brought your DKFJ hymn books with you. Open to page 138.

    Dat Kid signals the concubines to get behind him and they assemble in choir formation.

    Praise to Dat Lord, From Jersey,
    the King of creation!
    He makes you so wet,
    toys on vibration!
    All ye who hear,
    Now to his penis draw near;
    Suck now in glad adoration!
    • Like Like x 6
  2. Person attending church: FLYING FAGGOT
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Replace elephant with faggot
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  4. OOC: when I was trying to decide on if I would have a gimmick for IWT I put the most consideration into an 'evil preacher' type... before I really looked around IWT that is. I might have been stepping on toes
  5. I would say don't put limitations on what you say, it's more enjoyable that way.