Dating Advice - How to get the monkey of your back

Discussion in 'Locker Room' started by Idiot #1, Mar 4, 2014.

  1. #1 Idiot #1, Mar 4, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2014
    Alright lads

    I notice some of you struggle with the old women. As you are still young, I thought I would throw some of my advice your way.

    1. Dont give a shiny shit

    Women do not like lads who express feelings, or make an effort. They want lads to be blokes. So, act jaded towards everything, and you will have fanny on all fours. What happened to the day that women looked good for us men. The fact is, a bloke should be a bloke. A hairty chest is the difference between a man and a women, if you shave your chest you might as well be a bloody women. Men should not wash too much, it takes away the manly musk that attract women

    2. Big Words

    Friverouus and Vacous are 2 words I use to prove my smarts to the lasses. Forget your fancy degree's or a career, it is big words and what music you like that is a sign of smarts. Also put some NIN on, women love smart music they will think you are smart and cool if you like NIN, trust me lads. Dont follow a career, it might be a sign you care too much.

    3. Be a bigger built lad, and develop a manly image mixed with a nerdy tint

    Women want a lad who is bigger built, not fat but with some prime hairy meat on them. I have glasses and big teeth so people think I am a nerd,but luckily women like that look. If you find the balance you will get prime poontang pie

    Carry yourself like a big built lad, practice walking across the room, women love a proper bloke.

    Dreadlocks, beards and tatoos are all good for getting the old fanny

    4. Local Boozer

    Women live to be in the boozer, take her there and they will make their move on you if you conform to the 3 rule I gave above.

    they usually doing this by shaking their rump's in your crotch I find.

    That is it, this is what works for me. Now run it through your greymatter
    • Like Like x 1
  2. 1. No, that's stereotypical and acting completely selfish.
    2. Big words make you look and sound like a pretentious ass who thinks he knows everything when he knows jackshit in reality.
    3. Not all women care about muscle. Not saying that you should just be a bigger guy, but muscle isn't necessary. Once again, a stereotype.

    So, out of your three statements, I see enough trolling/blatant stereotyping.
  3. 4 points I made. Be more open to suggestion lad, some of yoy seem to need help with the old women
  4. You just edited it and made a fourth point. Don't try to act as if you had it before.

    4. Another stereotype about women that only prats like yourself think is true.
    Make that three stereotypes.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. look lad just trying to help.

    dont like my advice, don take it.

    just trying to help the lads get the monkey of their backs
  6. Lmao, that 1st one is so wrong.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. 1. showed some emotions. Told me she would probably date me
    2. I'm a smart dude but I don't speak in big words, still drowning in the pussy
    3. I shave my face and have little body hair. Still reelin
    4. I'm underaged, still don't need alcohol to get it.

    • Like Like x 2
  8. What the fuck are you dating, female chimpanzees?
    • Like Like x 5
  9. possibly @BrockLesnarFanForLife
    • Like Like x 9
  10. How is this joker not banned yet?
    • Like Like x 2
  11. He apparently brings up a good point about how people are stereotyped and how many issues people have with that. I still do have issues with that kind of stuff as well (mainly when dates and I are going through rough patches) but in the end every woman's different and likes different things and acts different ways. Just something us guys need to remember more often. If only there was some way to get rid of all these nasty stereotypes and terrible memories and other crap like that that does nothing but hurt people... :downer:

    And the "apparently" in the first sentence means it's fucking exhilarating to wander into a thread like this and not be able to see the OP because you threw their ass on Ignore. Makes you wanna grab some balloons and confetti and do a little dance.
    • Like Like x 1
  12. This thread should be titled "Fucked Up Dating Advice: How To Get a Monkey In Your Bed Because No Real Woman Would Go For This Stupid Shit"
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Okay, I read the OP. Didn't this dweeb make the "How do I get a girlfriend" thread?

    Seems fitting. :lol1:
    • Like Like x 2
  14. You aren't missing out, not being able to see that big old pile of shit of an OP. There are zero decent points, there never is in this guy's posts.
    If this guy was elbow deep in 'fanny' he wouldn't be wasting his time trolling here, would he?
    • Like Like x 2
  15. Nick made that, the OP ruined the thread
    • Like Like x 1
  16. Oh, okay. If Nick made it then that's cool. Thanks for clarifying man.
  17. :downer:
  18. Sorry, man. Meant no disrespect, just a whole bunch of ignorance on my end.
  19. It's all good man, thread wasn't exactly what you thought I made. No worries bro.
    • Like Like x 1
  20. If you listen to any of his advice....well....