BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I DO ========================================================================================= One thing I've noticed in recent weeks is this: If the board hates an episode of Impact, I probably enjoyed it. If the board thought an ep was solid, I probably found it boring. No idea what the rhyme or reason is for that, but it is just an observation that holds true for at least the past month's worth of Impacts. =========================================================================================== I didn't review last week's Impact or pay that much attention to it. AJ wrestling pissed me off, simply put. Storm/Styles should have been built towards at Slammy. TNA just WCW'd all over themselves IMO with that decision. =========================================================================================== Security trying to stop Bully Ray from coming into the arena? Do you know who he is? Just punking the hell out of the security guards . "Mr. Asshole here is going to bite every one of your frikkin faces off. 1, 2, MOVE." ============================================================================================= Opening Segment Style's new finisher is called the "Calf Killer" lmfao. That's too good. Bully is in trouble now. Really enjoyable promo by Storm IMO. "Bring all you want because hell, I'm gonna take one or two of your dumbasses out". Also liked him calling out Taz. OH SHIT. TAFKATWTTCOTW! Hyped hyped hyped. I'm proud to be the #1 Kaz mark of the IWC. I see you up there, brooding like a twilight vampire AJ. Oh shit. His zingers are too much. Oh shit, he just called the fans fartknockers. bwuahahhahaha KAZ WE ARE NOT WORTHY So many quotable one liners in such a short amount of time. Hold on, I have to re-watch Kaz's mic work. brb Storm's reaction.... priceless. "Did you just say.... throw it up??" "Let me tell you something Travis Tripp" OK, I'm dying now. And the segment ends w/ Bad Influence beating up Cowboy. Fucking epic opener, I'm marking. Aces & Eights?? I'm no hater, and sure, Storm was talking shit, but totally unnecesary for them to come out. JUST KIDDING. I WAS LYING. JOSEPH PARK. OH SHIT. lol @ him trucking Brisco. Now Park goes through the table. lol, that's an upgrade over what I thought was going to end this segment. Bully shows up now? remember when you lost cleanly to Park bro OH SHIT. 3D through the table. Now Aces & Eights throwing up was officially worth it. Would have been a 10/10 segment if it ended w/ Bad Influence, still a solid opener with how it unfolded. =========================================================================================== Bully promo This definitely feels like Sting/Bully at Slammy. Solid stick time, calls out Hulk as expected. All good. Keeps the show flowing ============================================================================================ Guess who isn't watching Tara vs Taryn (sp?) ============================================================================================ if you don't think Robbie E is hilarious, he just proved you wrong. "No I will not tweet you back because it's your birthday. Send. ::tosses phone aside:: That's your bad, little girl." That was a Kaz level one liner ============================================================================================= Rob Terry vs Mr. Pectacular I'm not ashamed to admit that I am watching this only because I thought Jesse was hilarious on Big Brother, which also means I'm not ashamed to admit to watching Big Brother. Anyone got a problem with that? Oh God, he is so short doe. Goddamn I knew he was short but son is like 5'8 short. Rob Terry- "unlimited potential" according to Tenay. Maybe he meant limited? idk. YES! thank you Big Rob for breaking up that pin. What a beast. Oh goddammit. Pectacular is still going to job. Rob Terry seems improved, but with all of the actual talent TNA has at its disposal I can't approve of a Robbie T push. Sorry bro, you're still not on the list. When you are the one part of the show that Aces & Eights don't fuck with, you know you suck. ============================================================================================= Kaz/Daniels/Roode/Aries backstage segment-- awesome. Entertaining and could create a very interesting storyline w/ BI trying to woo Roode who is caught between them and Aries. Aries overhearing the segment was a nice, cheesy touch. ============================================================================================= Hardy talking about hanging up his boots. Kayfabe injury confirmed. Chris Sabin video package, nice. I like showing the IRL aspect of him having to overcome the knee injuries to continue wrestling. He is definitely a nice asset to have in the X Division ============================================================================================= Tag Team Title Match Roode/Aries vs Los Make me Oh so Sleepios On the surface I'm not overly interested in seeing Roode & Aries job to these two again, but TNA does a nice job of keeping the match up fresh by introducing the dynamic of Aries being pissed that Roode is considering dumping him for Kaz & Daniels. "I've got the greatest hearing that ever lived" OK now what in the actual fuck? CD on special guest commentary but Kaz just has to stand their like an asshole? Taz, Tenay, somebody, give him your fucking headset you pieces of shit. Fuck. So close to perfection, TNA. So close. Chants for Aries. Just turn him face but don't WWE him. Break up feud w/ Roode (who aligning w/ BI trying to bring AJ in would be a great storyline as well) would be epic. Aries = BITW. Only other acceptable answer is Dick Butt. Any other response is incorrect. (In my most humble of opinions, ofc) haha Kaz & Daniels you retards. A little overzealous. I don't think Bobby will be too pleased with them now. Instead, we'll finally get the BI/Dirty Heels feud we've all wanted Very enjoyable match I thought. Roode/Aries dominate for most parts, CD on commentary, Kaz getting involved, and the possibility of the afore mentioned feud. good shit. I'm assuming somebody from Aces&8s will team to go after the tag titles. Probably Wes & Baby B ============================================================================================= Morgan Promo Same old shit. Same old shit. Same old shit. I liked this angle, but he needs some new material to work with at this point. Crowd is hot for Hulk. I thought Bully wanted to talk to Hulk? Hopefully he comes down to save this segment. idk. something about Morgan's promos just don't click with me. They seem like they are good enough that I should like them, but for some reason I don't. Hogan just pipebombed Morgan, damn. ============================================================================================= SURPRISE! I'm going to watch Mickie vs Velvet That's right, I'm a Mickie James guy. not sure why Velvet insists on rubbing her vagina slime on the ropes, but OK. Mickie is going to win. She has to in those jean shorts Knee injury storyline in this match? ok. Probably a good idea for Velvet, honestly. She isn't good at anything else, just let her sell an injury and limp around looking like a cross between a space cheerleader and scat porn webcam model. Some nice titty slaps landed by Velvet on Mickie. Underutilized move in KOs matches by my calculations What in the everloving fuck. DId Velvet really just win that match. With a roll up. Right next to the ropes? I usually reserve the following image for nip slips ONLY in KOs matches, but it is appropriate for that finish Spoiler (Move your mouse to the spoiler area to reveal the content) Show Spoiler Hide Spoiler ============================================================================================= Solid backstage segment between Bully/Devon. ============================================================================================= Why is Hulk going out there to fight? I thought they were going to have a stop and chat or something. A fight? what dafuq. The only way this segment will be worth it is if Bully kayfabe KILLS Hulk Hogan. If Bully literally beats his ass to death he would get a ton of heat. Good way to write Hogan off TV for a while as well. Wedding segments always draw big numbers, I bet a Hogan funeral segment would shatter TNA ratings records. Bully starts strong, but tails off towards the end of his spiel. hulkamania will never die blah blah. ashley, H Double. Spits in face Oh yet OK? Hulk gets the upper hand. Disgusting. Fuck you hulk. OH SHIT LIGHTS OUT WHO IS IT. STING. GONNA CLEAN HOUSE. THE STABLE KILLER. GONNA FUCK EM ALL UP. GET EM BOY. IT'S 1997 ALL OVER AGAIN. TWO OLD MEN >>>> ACES & EIGHTS >>>>>>>>>>>> TNA ROSTER WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I will give this to H Double. He still has a better physique than William Regal. Good show but it is a bit lame that the only person who can stand up to Aces & Eights is fucking Sting. oh well, a lot of good things going on in this ep. easily an 8/10 also, sticking true to my recent formula, I can safely assume you all hated the show since I enjoyed it?