D'Z Finally Watches Impact 72 hours later

Discussion in 'TNA iMPACT! (2011-2015)' started by Dolph'sZiggler, Mar 25, 2013.

  1. And being the gentleman that I am, I'm posting this thread for you all as I do so. I'm just that swell of a guy.

    Seeing as the Chicago crowd was hot for the live taping and it was a show I quite enjoyed, I am anticipating this will be another solid episode of Impact.


    Hulk Hogan opens


    Because nothing gets me amped for the 90 minutes of upcoming wrestling like seeing H Double limp down to the ring with his fucking crutch.

    As per usual, the crowd is happy to see Hulkster. Allow the UW to represent the crowd in the following gif, Hogan will play himself:

    Show Spoiler


    I really resent that TNA keeps having guys cut promos insisting on the fact that EVERYONE was fooled by this plot. I think most of us chose Bully as the leader literally from the start. So please, just because you are a goddamn retard Hogan don't try to drag us all down to your level.

    I guess the segment isn't for nothing, he is at least putting the group over well. Call me crazy though, but I don't think the crowd gives a shit what he is saying. They just continue stroking the guy next to them while moan chanting "Hogann! HOgann! Hogan!". It's crazy to think that in a sense Hulkamania is still alive in 2013, and crowds like this prove it. Hate him or love him, Hogan draws, brothers.

    This is what needs to come of this angle. Guys like Joe, Magnus, ect
    being put over. It does seem weird like Taz said, they are basically celebrating getting beat up.

    Obviously this is all just a mean attempt to hurt Sting's feelings though. I just hope these two can feud or beef or whatever without it coming to a match. Nobody deserves to have to see that again.

    Show Spoiler

    Hardy doesn't even look that high for this taping [​IMG]

    Hardy's face paint reminds me of this guy from that one episode of Sunny
    Show Spoiler

    I'm a lizard!

    Oh God. Hogan is trying to get Hardy to say something on the mic.

    this gon. be bad


    just spit it out Hardy



    superface Hardy setting up unnecessary hurdles for himself to get another title shot... what a retard. I really... REALLY hope he loses his rematch to Joe or Magnus or even Angle. :yes:

    I don't care what anyone says. Bully recap vignettes are as good as any promo or segment in wrestling. He is fucking money. He sells this storyline like DZ sells moves.


    Oh look, it's Bobby Roode and Austin Aries


    annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd there is Los Ratings Killeros
    Show Spoiler


    Still, any match featuring Roode and Aries is win as fuck.

    lmao @ Aries fake high fiving fans. Such a stud.

    Eddie's nephew is so boring in the ring. His only value is to get beaten up for a little bit before hernandez comes in to clothesline some people after a hot tag.

    Ugh, this commentary. Fuck you Taz. Fuck you Tenay. It had to be said.

    Jesus. Somebody handling the match booking must have been higher than I am right now to OK letting SuperMex double suplex Roode and Aries. You're two most valuable commodities and you let your most notoriously dangerous worker suplex them both... at one time. Brilliant. I literally held my breath as he set up for that move. Scary stuff, watching Hernandez matches.

    Side note, anyone else miss Bobby Roode's hair? I mean, even if we can't have the awesomeness that was his Mr. Perfect due, can he at least go back to something like this?


    This Kazarian buzzcut doesn't do it for me.

    /haircut rant

    I hate that Chavo always feels the need to kick out at 1. "Haha, you'll never get a 2 count on me, motherfuckers!Q"

    Roode selling the tornado DDT like a Mike Tyson uppercut

    So sick of seeing Pooper Mex booked like a God against guys like Roode, Aries, Daniels/Kaz, ect.

    oh shit piss yea Aries, fucked his stupid ass up


    I was marking when Aries got a big pop for mocking Chavo before the brainbuster, but then shithead countered into his boring ass suplex combo :downer:

    Not sure why Kaz & Daniels would want Roode/Aries to retain, but OK.

    Heel/heel feud between the Dirty Heels (hate the name, sigh) and Bad Influence? Fucking dope. Thank you TNA for not being a bunch of shitheads


    That will literally be MOTY if they get 20+ minutes at Slammy


    Pretty nice promo by King. 3 way match for the strap, I can dig.

    Only Kenny King has enough swag to pull off that entrance music. That is like a half turn on the dial away from Disco Inferno territory.

    This should be a unique and entertaining matchup, to say the least. Hopefully it gets 10+.

    lol, I love Zema Ion. dude is money.

    Kenny King runs up to the apron, jumps up and flips off of it onto Dutt and Ion. Stud.

    Fun match. Too short, but good. King dominated for the most part, Ion get a spot, Dutt got a spot, and King gets the win. Let's hope they give King a storyline to work with within the X Division


    "Nobody turns their back on my brother"-Bully

    I lol'd


    Sting confronts Hogan. 2 things

    1.) Hogan mentioned "going to sit up in the rafters" when going gets tough, so maybe Sting will bring back the Crow gimmick :haha:
    2.) Sting "wants Bully" and Hogan said "you're not the only one". Please tell me Hogan isn't wrestling Bully



    I can't be the only one that doesn't care about this playmate ref having anger issues? Such a waste of a storyline to invest in, TNA. Come on, this shouldn't be getting 10+ minutes a week.

    if I had to have sex with a transvestite, and I'm not sure why the situation would ever arise where I would have to do so, but if I had to choose one, I'd go Brooke Hogan. Her face is pretty busted, but that body [​IMG]


    Park vs Morgan time!

    I'm nervous as to how this turns out. I'm hoping Morgan just toys with him, beats his ass, Park maybe gets in some offense when Morgan takes him too lightly before finishing him off and maybe beating him up some more.

    I gotta tell you, some real nonsense that JP didn't get to cut a promo before this match.

    By golly.

    Haha, this is going perfectly thus far. Morgan is playing his role nicely, and ofc Park is.

    OK, match turned out fine. Park's offense got some nice pops from the crowd as well


    Jeff Hardy backstage promo. Because his in ring promo from earlier just wasn't enough to satisfy the masses of fans who are dying to hear Hardy speak...


    AJ...watup holmes.

    Tenay considers AJ a friend. How cute.

    AJ is no selling his question like a :boss:

    Taz talking? uhh.... stfu dude. Nobody likes you and stuff.

    Sorry Cowboy, you aren't pulling that shirt off bro. Damn. Totally shitting on AJ's new gimmick. What a mark, we like his new gimmick, Storm. Stfu, ashley.

    Fucks given by Styles: 0. He's bouncing. Peace ya'll.


    Looks like some fuckery is guaranteed for the main event with so little time left.

    the beginning of Jeff Hardy's theme sounds like the sound I imagine is going on in people's head before they kill themselves

    Samoa Joe is more over with this crowd than Angle :obama:

    those mutton chops are out of control.

    Hardy just wins cleanly :pity1:. I can't dig that. Oh well. Bully will fuck him up anyway :bury:


    Good episode overall. 8/10
    • Like Like x 3
  2. Some of the gifs used (not all) had me in tears, lol. Nice review.
  3. Any thread that starts with Al Bundy is bound to be fantastic.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Thanks. You can thank @Bobby Roode, who was the one who requested more gifs.

    Such a great show, and Bundy was the king of facial expression.
  5. Marked for Ashley, the gifs were used well for a cheap pop. 7/10 *s.
  6. The ashley bit was for a cheap pop from @Crayo but that son of a bitch hasn't even bothered with this thread :((
  7. Lmao just seen this, awesome. I love these types of live reviews, but no one does it as well as Dolph's. Marked for ashley and the Jose Mourinho gif.

    Overall I pretty much agree with everything you said too. I think I rated it 8/10 as well.
  8. Great review. I want to see the next episode.

    HARDY FOR THE TITLE :otunga:
  9. Hardy is going to job to Bully faster than Poland jobbed to Germany in 1939.
    • Like Like x 3
  10. Ahh, another Impact, another awesome review.

    Dolph's the LeBron James of wrestling reviewers.
  11. Nice review, as per usual.
  12. Shit review by a shit user :pity2:
  13. Oh hot damn. This is the review that I wanted. :damnn:
  14. Thanks for the kind words everyone, especially you, deth.
  15. Pearl Harbor :steiner: