D'Z comes down the aisle looking upbeat, casually toking a blunt. The crowd gives D'Z a warmer reception than usual as he stands before them giving his trademark pity face. He signals for a mic and begins speaking matter-of-factly. When I stepped up and challenged Sir Lee for his championship at IWT Mania 2 it created a buzz across the landscape of this industry. Two main event caliber talents set to steal the show from the mid card. It was trending worldwide on Twitter. The IWT website crashed due to the mass amounts of traffic. Forum threads reached thousands of replies. But in IWT, things can never be as simple as 1 + 1 = 2, can they? Ziggler shakes his head and smirks. No, because you see in IWT we have this all empowered entity that collectively is known as "creative" ::Ziggler gives a "jerking it" hand gesture as he says creative:: which I can only assume is supposed to be one of those ironic names the kids are into these days. They came to me and they said "D'Z, we would love for you to face Lord Lee at IWT Mania, but first we need you to squash 3 little fuckboys at Uprising!" Well Jesus Christ. I'm all for squashing fuck boys, it's my thing, but 3 of them? It is pretty obvious the "powers that be" are upset with my crusading ways. But that's fine, I am more than happy in the role and expected the backlash to come from them eventually, but they really want to kick me in the nuts before I even get out of the box. They want to set up some obstacles for me to prove myself? I'm all for it, that's the point of this whole damn venture. Some of you still seem confused about my "3 opponents". Let the record show that when fuckboy #3 known as "Jwab" aka "Jwabtista" heard that I was to be in the #1 contender's match, he all of the sudden had "better things to do" which turned out to be a feud with Christian, which literally everyone agrees is a shitty feud. Literally. Everyone. Themselves included if you catch them in an honest moment. But, on to more important IWT competitors, the ones who will actually have to deal with me at Uprising. When I decided to remove myself from the breakfast club, to stop allowing myself to be the puppet with Creative's hand up my ass, someone else had to step in and fill the void. With no shortage of participants willing to bend over to get fisted, they had their choice of the litter. Why then did they decide to choose Nick of all people? Why did Mr. Smith want to sink his hooks into Nick, a pathetic, borderline jobber? D'Z makes a disgusted face as he mentions Nick's name. Its a win/win really, and I'll explain it to you. They took a guy who.. admittedly.. has talent, and that's the end of the nice things I'll have to say about the piece of shit, they took this guy with a morsel of talent, but his career is at a dead end.. and they bring him in and he is so grateful for what they've done for him, he becomes a blind and loyal stooge. Let's be real Nick, look at your record. You damn sure wouldn't be in #1 contender's matches for prestigious championships had you not decided to jump in bed with the slightly less shitty of the two commissioners. They can get you into the match, but then what happens? You will then realize that you are in deep waters with a shark you aren't ready to swim with. So you remember that Nick when you have Smith's dick in your mouth and/or ass tonight. He can get you this match, but he can't win it for you. And after I embarrass you, you will be damned to obscurity for the rest of your sad little career... no matter how many dicks you are willing to sit on. Annnnnnnnddddd speaking of sitting on dicks, we have fuckboy #1, Chris Kaizer. All I ever see this fucking guy doing is napping at ringside. Or jobbing his ass off. What is he supposed to be? I put on the tape and he absolutely sucks. I can't see any way for this guy to even be competitive in this match, let alone win it. As much as I make fun of Nick, he actually seems like more of a threat in this match, which just goes to show you the level of bums I am truly dealing with. So Nick, you suck and shouldn't be in the match, but Kaizer, get your ass out here and explain to me just who the fuck you think you are? I haven't heard a goddamn word out of your ass concerning this match, so why don't you fill me and these people in on what makes you think you have a chance in hell to win other than your own personal delusion. I'm calling you out buddy. @Bill Clinton explain to D'Z how you can overcome these overwhelming odds. How can you stop D'Z from whooping your ass pillar to post? D'Z puts down the mic and signals for Kaizer to come to the ring.