D'Z watches Impact (ON HIS COMPUTER, FML, F U VIACOM)

Discussion in 'TNA iMPACT! (2011-2015)' started by Dolph'sZiggler, Jul 13, 2012.

  1. Let's see here.. where to find Impact. First, I'll try Youtube! That will surely work!

    Search 7/12/12 impact wrestling part 1, and VOILA, got that shit

    Opening with Bully/Park...Perfect . JP looking dashing in his track suit per usual. Oh god, Park puts up his fists, puts his chin up, and walks towards Bully Ray 'Come on then!!'. He is so amazing. I could probably watch these two feud/wrestle for the rest of 2012. Such a great dynamic between the two and the matches are endlessly entertaining.

    TRENDING WORLDWIDE IN 3,2,1. So brilliant. Why on God's Green Earth do we not have a Bully Ray smiley? :nyan: <<----- but we have that.

    You can't help but laugh when Park doesn't know how to use the weapons properly. Lmao then he fails at running the ropes.

    Thumbtacks and Bully Ray on the mic? This is a 5 star classic right here boys and girls. Cheese greater low blow? Innovative :obama: . I really don't want to see Bully lose again though, and isn't he a bit handicapped in the BFG Series being so preoccupied with Park? That's why he is losing all his BFG Series matches! Total BS! Conspiracy against Bully.

    Tacks aren't keeping Bully down, Brother! Chain shot! Bully wins!!! Niceeeeee. Awesome, now it's time for this storyline to advance further. They need to start hinting at the obvious fact that Park is Abyss.

    Just as I say that Park hits a black hole slam. Goddamn TNA, stop doing everything right you cheeky buggers you

    Anyway, great way to open the show coming off the heels of a great PPV.

    __________


    Samoa Joe BFG Series match.. my God Impact I love you right now. Oh God, it's RVD. Enthusiasm officially curbed. Joe better choke this bum out. Crowd is pro RVD? Fuckin IZ fans, get a life.

    Taz just said 'off the chain'- Takes me back a ways. Haven't heard people say that since 2005.

    Joe is such a treat to watch when he's motivated and focusing on setting up submissions. It feels like everything he does in the ring is serving a purpose (ironically RVD's moveset is basically the opposite, with everything he does feeling pointless)

    One complaint about the BFG Series thus far.. It seems like we are seeing the same set of guys every week/at PPVs and a handful of guys we are barely seeing. Joe/Angle/Hardy/Storm/RVD/Anderson are always on while Pope/Magnus/Bully (tied up with Park)/ect are not being seen as much. Also AJ/Daniels have been tied up in their shit (which if there is a God will be coming to an end any day now).

    Joe busting out the figure 4. Such a :boss: .

    RVD with a cheap small package win. A couple of things. 1.) I sort of expected this. 2.) Not the worse thing to happen, because Joe still looked like the dominant one of this match. 3.) Decent, fun match to watch and most importantly 4.) They are trying to keep this BFG Series unpredictable, which I like. We all thought Storm would run away with it (which he should still win it) and he gets passed by Joe after losing a couple of times. Now as smarks we say 'okay, I got this pegged' and they have Joe lose to RVD. It's a good way to sell the series and make it feel unpredictable.

    I love Joe selling the loss. He looks like his dog just got ran over by a truck.

    __________

    CLAIRE. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKK. YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

    __________

    AND YOUR STUPID DODGE MAGNUM. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. DIE. IN. A. GREASE. FIRE. ****.

    __________

    :finger: CLAIRE

    __________

    :finger: DIXIE

    __________

    :finger: AJ, DANIELS, KAZ, AND EVEN ANGLE! ANYONE THAT IS IN ANYWAY CONNECTED WITH THIS STORYLINE :finger: . This storyline makes the Raw AJ storyline look like Austin/McMahon in '97 by comparison.

    __________

    Hogan with a short, 5 second promo that did what it needed to do in a quick, succinct manor? :hogan: nice work H Double

    __________

    Daniels/Kaz. Too bad I can't be happy or excited to see them :bury: .

    Kaz: "Trust me when I tell you this is just the beginning"- Dear God, fuck you Kaz. Who's fault is this? Who did this? CR7, can you tell me who did this?
    Show Spoiler

    [​IMG]


    Show Spoiler
    JEWS? FUCKIN JEWS DID THIS? SUNUVABITCH


    Now he's bringing Claire out. [​IMG]

    this sucks dick.

    [​IMG]

    Here comes AJ.

    [​IMG]

    AJ on the mic is mediocre enough, now he's talking about this shit.

    [​IMG]

    Bad news for AJ:

    [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Segment over??? Thank God, it's finally over

    [​IMG]

    __________

    Zema Ion is actually pretty dope. I was pissed at first, but I guess him as a transitional champ isn't terrible. I don't want to see him with a long reign though. King or Dutt should be champion before too long. "Turn heads, break necks, & cash checks" :dawg: .

    Dakota Darsow is Jesse's bro now? He was the least impressive dude out of literally all the guys they brought in for that tournament. Hopefully Ion fucks him up. And he did, clean win and relatively quickly. Match/segment accomplished what it set out to do. Not bad. And the attack afterwards.

    Ion isn't just f'n pretty, he's pretty F'n dangerous. Dude has a Jericho-esque bag of catch phrases already :obama:

    __________

    Aries opening the second hour with his first appearance as champ.. as it should be. Perfectly structured show thus far. Also I hate Tenay as much as anyone, but he was good in the Aries/Roode match. He sold the 'typical face mark announcer' role very well. Wow, it even gave me goosebumps seeing Aries holding the belt with the confetti coming down. I'm such a faggy mark.

    --Random thought-- Aries needs a better, more recognizable theme. This generic rock gots to go--

    IZ is HOT FOR ARIES' FLAVORRRRRRRRRR

    Aries talking with that big dick swag. Lmao, now he shhh's the fans. Get on his level hoes. I'm marking for this promo. "Wrestling runs in cycles. We have down periods, then we have what's called a boom period." This guy sells himself so damn well. He needs to carry this belt to BFG, if not past that. TNA has a serious surplus of guys they can put the belt on, but Aries deserves a lengthy reign.

    Enter: Roode. Fuuuuuuuck this is awesome. Damn, Roode looks like a Zombie, like he is legit lost without his belt. He looks like an obsessed crazy person, what a badass. Holy shit, Bobby Roode is the man. If only he would have elbow dropped his jacket when eh took it off that would have been perfect :baws: . I'm dying laughing. He's been reduced to cave man speak. YOU. YOU. YOU. THIS. THIS. RAWWWRRRRRRRRRRRR.

    DAMMIT. KICKS ROPES. POINTS. RAWWWWWWR.

    Dear God, I knew Roode would play this role well of being the obsessed guy that lost his title that meant everything to him, but he surpassed my expectations easily. What an absolutely badass mofo

    __________

    Sting talking to Hogan about Aces and 8s. Laying the groundwork to them teaming up :urm: . Could be decent-at-best, but I expect it will suck. Oh look, Devon/Garrett, they'll make this storyline more bearable :facepalm1: . They deflated my interest balloon quickly on the Sting's Goons storyline :sad:

    __________

    Brooke Hogan? Coming to the ring? That is near the top of the list of shit I just don't want to see. Oh, she's a guest commentator. Could be worse I guess. GK time? Please God let her win this somehow. Gail I've missed you so.

    Gail carrying this scrubmacher once again. If they wanted Brooke to do guest commentary they should have at least coached her up on some things to say. She's been pretty bad, just repeating the same few lines. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd here comes Assmacher. Yawn. Assuming she wins this will be the last semi-entertaining KOs title match for the foreseeable future. So I hope you all enjoyed/savored it.

    Elbow drop? well tbh it looked better than Punk's top rope elbow. RIP Gail, see you in 6 months. :finger: Bitchmacher

    __________

    Nice backstage promo by Magnus. He pointed out some of the lame BFG discrepancies I mentioned earlier. At no point in the series should one guy have 2 matches when others have had 5-6

    __________

    Anderson/Angle time, so I guess Sting's Goons storyline gets the ME slot... :facepalm1: ....

    Why does Anderson walk like he just finished taking the most painful dump in the history of mankind?

    Based on what has happened thus far I expect Anderson to get a win here since most expect Angle to win. Hopefully Angle wins though.

    Pretty ho hum match, both guys doing their typical stuff. Nothing bad, nothing great. You knew the mic check wouldn't end it.. Finishers don't effect Angle, just like his finishers don't effect his opponent lol. I love Kurt but he really makes finishers just feel like another move.

    Whoa, holy shit. An Angle Slam finished the match? It's more shocking to see Angle get a pin with that then it is to see his opponent kick out. Not bad, the finish caught me off guard, and Angle wins. I like it.

    __________

    Don't like the idea of Roode/Aries wrestling next week and at Hardcore Justice. Hopefully there is some sort of mini-swerve and they save the match for the PPV. No reason at all to have them wrestling on free TV.

    __________

    Sting time. I was once looking forward to this, but now that it seems like it will be Sting/Hogan teaming at BFG against the Goons I'm not feeling it so much.

    So the Goons fucked Hogan's shit up. Okay... and then they fucked Stinger up again. And my math isn't the best, but it seems to me like they picked up a few more goons since last I saw them. Annnnnnd drop curtain. Meh finish was meh.

    __________

    All in all, great episode of Impact IMHO. Awesome opening, good tv matches put on by Joe and Angle, awesome stuff from Roode as always, Aries promo was perfect, Ion has come along very nicely, and the last good KO's title match we will see in who knows how long. The only bad part was obviously Claire's stank ass being involved in the show still. F that storyline with a spiked dildo. Hogan/Sting stuff is pretty meh, but not bad, just meh.

    I'll go 7/10, with 2 full points deducted for the AJ/Claire shit.



    edit: Only 25 images per post? Fuck this noise. I have to find 10 images to cut out. You need to fix that shit Crayo, Smilies shouldn't count as images anyway.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  2. I haven't even seen Impact but that series of Gifs had me in stitches :lol1:
     
  3. :yuno: watch Impact?

    Also lol @ you putting that quote in your sig
     
  4. [​IMG]

    Lol'd so so so so hard.

    Aries not being the ME though makes me sick.
     
  5. He will be next week from the sounds of it (even though I don't want to see those two wrestling before the next PPV). As I said though him opening the top of the 2nd hour is perfect IMO. It's always the slot that draws the most viewers in
     
  6. Will read laters :true: :pity:
     
  7. :yay: :win:

    lmk if you enjoy
     
  8. I'm liking the thread title.
     
  9. I'll watch it later tonight :boss1:

    It had me in knots, I always used to think he shit himself out of nerves before he walked out or something :lol1:
     
  10. If you just skip any Claire/AJ/Daniels segment and watch the rest it's a legit 9/10 show. Good good stuff.
     
  11. LMFAO! This was the best fucking post ever! :')

    Laughed so much at all of it and agreed with everything. I was expecting Devon and he's little faggot friend to come out when Sting was being attacked though.
     
  12. i liked it :isee: what you wrote changed my experience of this episode o.o





    I didnt know this :upset:
     
  13. Hey DZ is back! Thought he was being buried :silva:
     
  14. Such an epic review. Amazing how awesome it was when Aries won, yet Roode stole the show. Again.
     
  15. So impressed with Roode. He's one of the guys I think would make it in WWE definitely. But enough of WWE, Roode is epic.
     
  16. :win: Love this review
     
  17. On an unrelated note: I'm disappointed by the lack of Montreal Screwjob jokes on the internet.