Farooq reviews the first ever Raw! Now with less porn and more corn!

Discussion in 'RAW' started by Harley Quinn, Dec 11, 2013.

  1. Hello everybody. My name is Farooq, and I like pie. I also enjoy watching naked men get on top of each other for three seconds :gusta:

    Anyhow, here's my review for the first ever Raw, I'll also post the video after the review in the spoiler, NOW LETS KICK THIS OFF!!

    Starting off with Bobby Hennan trying to get inside :haha: Nice to see this classic intro too :obama:

    Damn, Vince looks extremely young here. :mog: :gusta:

    Koko B. Ware vs Yokozuna Rating: 5/10

    Just a squash match in my opinion. Koko got in very little offense, but Yokozuna was quick to take control and destroy him. Sadly, expected a bit more from two Hall of Famers, but it's whatever to me. Still enjoyed it though for some reason :obama:

    Seeing Randy Savage on commentary is such a GOAT thing :yay: :slimjim:

    A Bobby Hennan promo to Mr. Perfect. Bobby is so damn smooth on his promos, his flow is amazing. Lol'd a bit at perfect horse manure. 9/10 promo work there, noticed a bit of pause at the end, guess he didn't want to repeat the word galaxy, nonetheless, it was still damn good.

    Uh-oh, somebody better...GIVE THIS TEAM THE FUCKEN MIC! Steiner brothers!! I don't know exactly who the opponents are thou--wait is that Doink the Clown in the crowd? Anyhow they are dressed in full black, and I couldn't hear their name when they were announced. I assume executioners since that's what Bob called them. Rating for the match: 6/10

    It was a squash match, a bit worst since they didn't get the offense that even Koko got a bit, but I just marked to hard to see Scott like this, and to see the Steiner Brothers in general. Amazes me that this guy went on to become the genetic freak we know today :obama:

    Oh God, Bobby Hennan crossdressing :facepalm:

    Up next, Razor Ramon interview :obama:

    Jesus he has a lot of gold, and dafuq is with that shirt. No wonder people are booing him, I felt like booing too :mog: Nonetheless still a entertaining promo. Even showed Razor attacking Owen Hart in the past too. It was cliche, but I'm sure at the time it was better, even now I am entertained by it. 7.5/10 :obama:

    Max Moon vs the Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels :yes:

    HBK looking good like always baby :gusta: Nice olive green strap for the championship too. Good back and forth match. Match spots for me were the hammer lock by Max Moon, Shawn Michaels catching Max Moon and dropping his face on the ropes, Shawn keeping his foot on Max's throat(illegal move), Shawn looking at the camera and saying "This face has broken so many homes."(marked), Max using the slingshot to push Shawn out of the ring, Max carrying Shawn in a fireman carry position and doing a front flip and then cradle pin, Shawn doing a superkick out of nowhere, and the match ends with a back drop. 8/10, very entertaining match by both performers.

    Now Bobby is dressed as a Jew trying to get into the building :pity:

    Now it's Damian Demento vs UNDERTAKER! :yay: :yes:

    This Damian guy seems creepy as fuck, but Undertaker goes up to him and stares at him like no fucks given. :obama: Undertaker takes some chops, but no sells a couple before being Irish whipped and botching a face slam to the mat :pity: Small back and forth here and there, but no matter what Undertaker kept coming back for more. Undertaker finished with a tombstone, odd one too. Damian's legs were on his right shoulder when he dropped him. 6/10 match.

    Now a Doink the Clown interview :mog:

    Crush doesn't like Doink because Doink makes children cry :haha: I'm catching this funny as hell. Still, pretty good mic work by Doink. He makes a pretty good heel, it was silly but it was damn good. Lol and Crush comes out and threatens Doink to leave everyone alone or he's gonna break him. Then Donk shoots him with a water gun and they're chasing each other outside of the ring.

    Lol now they let Bobby in now that's it's closed :pity:

    This episode was interesting. Mostly squash matches except for HBK vs Moon. The segments were fun though and enjoyable. I give this Raw a 7.5/10. Still, being the first Raw ever I think that everybody should give it a watch if they can. That's all for today, video is in the spoiler and have a good time eh. :damn:

    Show Spoiler
     
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  2. Needs more smilies.
     
  3. Koko B Ware vs Yokozuna won PWI MOTY for 93 IIRC
     
  4. :pity: Nice try.