Storyline Frank The Jock's Funeral

Discussion in 'IWT Archives' started by Dat Kid, Dec 31, 2013.

  1. #1 Dat Kid, Dec 31, 2013
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2013
    A mass of ordinary people (Datcolytes) come out from backstage. They line up at the ramp. They're all wearing a cross with Dat Kid's face on it. They pull out there "Dat Kid hymn book (available soon on the IWT shop)" and begin to sing.
    They stop at 0:41 and get on their knees
    Dat Kid's concubines scurry to the stage and throw flower pedals around the ramp. Dat Kid is driven in via popemobile. Dat Kid smiles and waves as the popembile stops at the stage for a moment. Kid is slowly driven down as he continues to wave, the people on their knees bow down as he passes. Dat Kid exits the popemobile and raises his hands to the crowd.

    Kid enters the ring.

    And God said to his weaker predecessor "You're an irrelevant piece of shit, grasping on to straws, clinging to people like a leech." and Aids Johnson proceeded to be smitten at the end of God's boot.

    Datcolytes: Praise be to Kid!

    And then God said to his idiotic partner "You're about one M&M from diabetes and you should not be letting the masses warm there cocks in your bosom" and Jonathan and his Team proceeded to be smitten at the end of God's boot.

    Datcolytes: Praise be to Kid!

    And then God said to a peon "You are the embodiment of everything wrong in the house of Dat Kid and you will pay for your sins" and Gav the Chav proceeded to be smitten at the end of God's boot.

    Datcolytes: Praise be to Kid!

    Fellow members of Dat Church From Jersey, I have come to you bearing a new message and I beckon the nonbelievers. I have ascended pass all and have ascended pass the glory of gold inanimate ideologies. I am in a state of contempt as I look down on place that I built and the place that I have now purified.

    There is only one fool left to eradicate from the existence of this place. I'm talking about the man who bit the apple one year ago and contaminated the history of what was meant to be in the IWT. I'm talking about Frank The Jock. You see Frank, you ascended when you were destined to be at the end of Dat Kid's boot like the many members of the IWT have been before. You made deals with the she devil Britanica and kept God silenced for months. You prevented these people from hearing the word of Dat God From Jersey! You reigned as the antichrist of the IWT, but you FELL!

    You fell off of your pedestal to a man who barely exists in the IWT and then you self-imploded on yourself, like the unstable man I always knew you were. You couldn't handle the power, so you left, faded into obscurity and I was finally allowed...to rise. Now you have come back to the world you left behind and you look around and see the landscape. There are no people begging for an FTJ title reign. Every where you look in the locker room, people are scowling you when you pass. People are begging me to end your existence in the IWT.

    These people, whether they admit it or not, go home, get on their knees, and pray for me to end you!....and I will. I won't end you because of what these people want, they are simple slaves, meant to serve ME!

    The new year is coming and I wanted to end your existence in this year, so tonight we look back on the life and times of Frank The Jock, not to celebrate his memory, but to strike fear in hearts of the nonbelievers. We are here to show what these individuals can becomes if they do not follow in the way of God.

    A banner of Frank the Jock is lowered towards the ring. It reads "In the agonizing memory of Frank The Jock. Birthdate Irrelevant - 12/31/13"

    Let us pray

    Datcolytes:
    Dat Kid, who art in Jersey,
    hallowed be thy name.
    Our Mommas cum,
    dat bitch be done,
    on face as it is in anus
    Give you today some daily head.
    And smite us for trespasses,
    as we annex those who trespass against you.
    And lead us not into Jonathan,
    cause he is fat and uncreative.
    For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory.
    for ever and ever.
    Amen
     
    • Like Like x 8
  2. OOC: I don't think I ever laughed that hard at a post here. Good shit
     
  3. THE ONLY FUNEREL HERE IS GOING TO UR DAT KID!
     
  4. Bagpipes begin to play as a Male Stripper come out and Perform a Lap dance on the Coffin of FTJ.
     
  5. Now that's what I like to call, a god damn great funeral. Now it's time for a little challenge...

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