How to direct positivity?

Discussion in 'Locker Room' started by Butters!, Jan 29, 2015.

  1. Abit Emotional here, I've had a hell of a stressful week and i feel seeing as i've been here for a year to open up a little more. Most of you don't bite, so.

    For around three years i've discovered that i get sad often, and not just "Oh the icecream" Sadness, but i'm constantly thinking of worse case scenarios, like what if this happens to me, or what if that happens to me, what if i can't do that? what if that person cuts me down and destroys my confidence. It doesn't help already that the fact that my confidence is low and that i feel i am incapable of doing much It's starting to take a toll on me and i'm starting to feel like there is nothing i can do about it other then suck it up and deal with it. But as stated there is only so much i can take.

    So i asked a friend at work how she stays so positive all the time, she responded with directing where the negatives go and controlling the positives. I didn't really understand that, and even if i could, how? It just doesn't make sense to me and i really do not know what to do about this anymore. I don't want to go through life feeling sad all the time, i want to find a solution that doesn't stereotype me as "You're nuts, here's a pill for it"

    So to all the positive members on the forum, how do you do it? and how can i do it?
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  2. You can begin to add some simple things into your life like more exercise, music, meditation, positive inspirational books and quotes, spend time in nature, or even volunteer work is wonderful to give you purpose and helps with sadness.

    You don't have to suffer when there is so much available to you and people that can support you. Also, adults you trust want to help you because many know about depression and care about you.

    Take care, Butters.
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  3. I might not seem positive on the forum at times, but I've learned how to be. If it's something really personal that you wish not to share, we can PM about it.

    I can't explain how I am positive sometimes because I've had my fair share of downers. It's more of that I don't really care what people think about me? I think as people, we want to act a certain way to appeal to the majority of people, but you aren't being who you really are because of the backlash you might receive. But I just do what I want and if anyone brings on negativity, who are they to judge? Why would their opinion matter to me? If I'm living the way I want to and am happy, their opinion shouldn't matter.
    Unless I'm a fucking serial killer, then yeah, I should probably change.
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  4. inb4 Butters is a serial killer and my post DID NOT help him at all.
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  5. Thank you both very much.

    Your advice and support is amazing and i'm glad to be apart of a forum where i can talk about these things.
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  6. It sounds to me like you have problems with forgiveness. Even if somebody cut you down, would you truly forgive them in your heart or would it turn into bitterness?
    If your confidence is low, that indicates you have problems with forgetting wrongs. If you can't forgive, you will never truly move passed what hurt you.
    Loving those who have wronged you brings ease and eliminates contempt. It's difficult but your mind only embraces what you tell it.
    Letting go is a daily process. You may not embrace those who have wronged you as before, but you can forgive and love them. Doing this, replaces your negative thoughts with the positive ones you seek.

    Hurricane Carter once said, ' Hate put me in prison. Love's gonna bust me out.'
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  7. World is full of assholes, your better then them. People judge I would not really take it to heart. However bad or depressed I feel at times there is always someone worse off, just think of what you have and be happy with yourself
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  8. Stay away from people, smoke cannabis and get a puppy/kitten.
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  9. Just remember that you're awesome, there's a reason why every member of this forum loves you!

    I'd like to think I'm a positive person, not to say that I dont have 'worst case scenario' issue as well but it always helps (for me atleast) to take a deep breath, i know it's a cliche and it sounds too simple to work but the world really backs down in that moment. It always brings up a positive wind for me.

    But at the root of it all, you just gotta remind yourself that you're a good guy, constant positive reassurance from yourself can never hurt.

    And as always, if you need to talk about anything. I'll be there! :)
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  10. Copious amounts of marijuana dude.

    Side note: If you tried to tell my wife I was a positive person she would laugh in your face. I complain a lot IRL I guess.
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  11. I'd suggest spanking the monkey more often. Whenever I'm feeling depressed (which is most of the time, sadly), I find that masturbating is a very good way (albeit a temporary one, unfortunately) of escaping whatever troubles the universe has decided to spring on me for the time being. Of course, if you have a girlfriend around to appease you, that's even better.
    Remember that life is a lot like sex/masturbation - the more you put into it, the more you get out. :bischoff:
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  12. I always knew you were one of those crazy cat ladies. Dyke.

    No one is positive all the time, and if you are just randomly getting it, it could just be a chemical imbalance. Be self-aware and do weird shit like make a list of pros and cons of your current situation, and then how you can change it. It's not perfect, but it works.
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  13. I'm sorry for the lack of response, guys. Thank you all for the advice and the funnies. It may just be words over the internet, but you guys really put a smile on my face. I guess sometimes i try to hard to please others and never really put myself first, which most are guilty of. And we've all had those people who will just try to bring us down and i shouldn't in no way let them in or rather win.

    And what i've learned from this is that bottling it up and holding it in only results in more pain, venting it out, telling people when i'm feeling weak is okay and letting go of the past is one step closer to becoming a more happier person. My confidence, I will work on one step at a time and there's no real rush. I have however asked a family member to come with me to see a doctor about my anxiety as it really does get out of control and i'm hoping that will be a step to becoming a better me.

    Thank you all for being such great rocks to fall on. You guys are real champs.
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