Promo ICW WC Round 1: Kaz Miller vs Chris Kaizer!

Discussion in 'ICW' started by Roadster, Apr 20, 2014.


Who Won?

Poll closed Apr 22, 2014.
  1. CM Punk

  2. Chris Kaizer

  1. The following contest is scheduled for 1 fall and is the 1st round Wrestling Challenge tournament! introducing first Kaz Miller CM Punk(@Shadoxicity)
    AND Introducing second Chris Kaizer (@Bill Clinton)

    The rules are as followed:
    1) NO OOC OR in character posts until promos are finished (Open to author)
    2) If you are caught cheating you WILL be suspended, time may vary
    3) All promo's MUST comprehend with ICW Contractual rules
    4) No Video's or Pictures aside from tron entrances

    1) There is a 24 hour limit in between promos, if a promo is not posted in those 24 hours, it will be a forfeit victory.
    2) Voting will then last for 24 HOURS
    3) For a this match there is a 2 promo limit


  2. *Kaz's theme airs throughout the arena*

    *A minute passes and Kaz is no where to be seen...suddenly static plays over Kaz's theme*

    *Punk storms out of the curtain with a mic in hand, he's wearing a black Misfits tee. Punk makes his way into the ring and sits criss cross in the smack center*
    Punk: Expecting somebody else? I'm sorry, but Kaz couldn't make it tonight. So, I thought I'd take this opportunity to talk about ol' Christopher for a moment.

    Punk: I don’t hate you, Christopher. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back. I hate this idea that you’re the best. Because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in the world.There’s one thing you’re better at than I am and that’s kissing Roadie's ass. You’re as good as kissing Roadie's ass as Sir Lee was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Gohan though. He’s a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is. Whoops! I’m breaking the fourth wall!

    *Punk waves to the camera*

    Punk: I am the best wrestler in the world. I’ve been the best since day one when I walked into this company. And I’ve been vilified and hated since that day because Big Boss saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right, I’m a @Big Boss guy. You know who else was a Big Boss guy? Kaz Miller. And he just split just like I’m splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Kaz is I’m going to leave with the ICW Championship.

    Punk: I’ve grabbed so many of Roadie’s brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that they're just that, they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six days, I have proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring, even in commentary! Nobody can touch me!

    Punk: And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little collector cups.I’m not on the cover of the program. I’m barely promoted. I don't get to be in movies. I’m certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network. I’m not on the poster of WrestleMania. I’m not on the signature that’s produced at the start of the show. I’m not on @Crayo O’Brian. I’m not on @Dat Kid Fallon.But the fact of the matter is, I should be.

    Punk: This isn’t sour grapes. But the fact that @Adam is in the main event and I’m not makes me sick!

    *The crowd roars for CM Punk*

    Punk: Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else. Because you’re the ones who are sipping on those collector cups right now. You’re the ones that buy those programs that my face isn’t on the cover of.And then at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face and get an autograph and try to sell it on eBay because you’re too lazy to go get a real job.

    Punk: I’m leaving with the ICW Championship. And hell, who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it in PWGP. Maybe…I’ll go back to IWT.

    *Punk looks at the camera and waves*

    Punk: Hey, @Stopspot, how you doing?

    Punk: The reason I’m leaving is you people. Because after I’m gone, you’re still going to pour money into this company. I’m just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel is going to keep turning and I understand that. Roadie is going to make money despite himself. He’s a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he’s not a billionaire? Because he surrounds himself with glad-handed, nonsensical, douchebag yes men, like Gohan, who’s going to tell him everything he wants to hear, and I’d like to think that maybe this company will better after Roadie is dead. But the fact is, it’s going to be taken over by his idiotic commissioner.

    Punk: Let me tell you a personal story about Roadie alright. We do this whole anti bully campaign...

    *The microphone cuts off. Punk gets up pissed and waits for Kaizer*
    • Like Like x 6

  3. Chris Kaizer walks out and his eyes are as big as the moon. He make his way down to the ring with a shocked face.

    Wh....wh...what? Why the hell am I facing Cm Punk? I should be facing Kaz Miller, either way I'll be facing irrelevant assholes. Punk, don't copy Frank The Jocks promo brah. That's uncool, he won a world title match with that promo, and you steal it from him? I could never think of something more evil than that. Not even making me sad by thinking that Kaz Miller was actually here is that evil. Ya know, today is full of surprises for me. I find out I am facing Kaz Miller, instead I get Cm Punk. Next thing ya know, Tyrone Martin is going to come back from the dead....

    The crowd explode in cheers as Tyrone Martin runs out in speedo. He starts dancing the stage before running down the ramp and kissing all the guys on the way.

    HOLLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S ME! THE GAY BOY!!!! TYRONE! MARTIN! I AM BACK! Did I surprise you, Kaizer? Well, I have two surprises wink wink. I have misses you guys so much! I was so sad when I od'd on gayness, but thankfully, my fuck budy, Barack Obama filled in for me! WOOOAHOA! He is such a great guy, great at being a friend,being president, and aboustley great in bed, grr! Now, you guys are probably guessing why I am back. Well, the first is because I find Mr.Kaizer's stache very very attractive. *Martin rubs his hand across Kaizer's stache* Another reason I came back is because, it's easter, and every easter, me, Tyrone Martin, dresses up as slutty easter bunny and looks for the most attractive male to take home with me to San Francisco!!!!!!!!! So, I have been limiting the list down to Kaizer...Punk...and Kaz Miller. But sadly, Kaz Miller isn't here tonight! SADNESS! HE WAS GOING TO WIN! SO NOW I HAVE TO FIND A REPLACEMENT FOR HIM FROM THE CROWD! SO WHO WANTS IN! *Alll the men in the crowd start yelling "me!!!!!!!". not you, you look like Dat Kid. No, fuck off Gohan. Oh, I have found him! *Tyrone Martin leads a hot model guy into the ring* GOD DAMN YO HOT AS FUCK! Sooooooooo...who is coming home with me tonight?!??!?!!?

    All of a sudden, a lightning strike hits the hot model and he turns to ashes. The arena goes dark and the roof of it opens up to show the heavens....

    Black Jesus starts to float down from the heavens to the biggest ICW ovation ever. He laughs as he floats down to the ring. Kaizer's eyes are as big as Dat Kid's penis by now.

    Thou shall not use tha lordz name up in vein, mah nizzle! I be back as well, Chris Kaizer playa! I be took a dirt nap fo' you fried chicken! Todizzle is Eastside Sunday, tha dizzle I came back ta game n' took all tha watermelon back ta heaven wit me biaaatch! I be deeply sorry fo' that, cuz I took home tha dopest watermelon! Now, what tha fuck tha fuck is goin on here, biatch? This be a funky-ass bangin' muthafucka competizzle wit no, Black Jizzy?!?!, biatch? I struck dis bangin' model dead, cuz I need ta be up in dis competition. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Because if I aint Tyrone Martin, dis is ghon be tha last minutez of Tyrone Martin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I don't need ta rap ta let me win, cuz I be so damn bangin' dat you wouldn't even be thinkin twice, nizzle. In fact, hit tha music!

    Black Jesus starts to strip down. He removes his gown as Tyrone Martin jumps up and down. Chris Kaizer's jaw drops as Black Jesus struts around the ring in a holy speedo.

    Kaizer falls into the corner as Black Jesus continues. He is in shock and falls to his ass in the corner. Black Jesus continues as Tyrone Martin is extremely giddy.

    • Like Like x 6
  4. OOC: And people under estimate ICW :dawg:
  5. *Suddenly a familiar theme hits the arena and makes the crowd explode.*

    *Hulk Hogan busts out of the curtain in his oh so familiar Hulkamania attire including his scarf. He goes into the ring and does his signature poses for an hour while both Kaizer and Punk are in the ring. He grabs the mic.*


    *The crowd explodes for that famous catchphrase.*

    Hogan: I've been waiting to come to ICW for a long time, brother. After being in the main events of every company in this business, I just gotta cap it off in IWC- I mean ICW, Jack! And now, it's my quest to host every single ICW show for the rest of my life, or whenever I feel like taking more of Dixie's money, dude!

    Hogan: I'm a little disappointed, I'm not gonna lie. I have not seen a single giant in this place since I walked in, brother! When I was at the silverdome for Wrestlemania 3, Jack, Andre and I tore the roof off the place. I slammed that Giant and gave him his first loss, brother. And even though we weren't the most technical of wrestlers, we were much better than these two assholes in the ring, Brother!

    Hogan: I hope the Warrior is looking down upon me, Brother. Because I'm about to summon him and make another sextape right in the middle of this ring, brother.

    Hogan: Now I really don't feel like leaving, brother. So I have officially made this a special referee, which is me, Ultimate Warrior memorial match where the winner will receive a mint condition copy of my sextape brother! Let's get this match back on track, brother!

    *Hogan begins to pose for the next ten minutes*
    • Like Like x 3
  6. #6 Roadster, Apr 20, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2014
    Announcer: this match has become a special referee match!
  7. No, brother. Special ref, brother.
    • Like Like x 1
  9. STOP
  10. #10 THG?, Apr 20, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 20, 2014
  11. Stop
  13. No seriously bro, stop posting here. Learn to read OP's.
  15. *Punk looks bewildered at everything transpiring*

    Punk: Hogan, Rude, Tyrone, and Miz's dad? That seems like something you'd see in this shitty promotion, but Black Jesus? Come on man. Alright, I have something for you Jesus.

    Punk: It was—it was almost—it was a day ago. It was over a day ago; I held this mic high in the air after I talked for the first time in the IWT and I proclaimed this mic right here the most important mic in North America. Right now, in my hands, as of this day, 4/20, this becomes the most important mic in the WORLD!

    Punk: This microphone in the hands of any of the boys in the back is just a microphone. You put it in the hands of a dangerous man like myself and it becomes a pipe bomb. These words that I speak, spoken by anybody else but me, are simply words strung together in lucid form into sentences. When I say, I mean what I mean I say, and they become ANTHEMS!

    *The crowd starts chanting "CM Punk! CM Punk! CM Punk!"*

    Punk: You see, if I can be afforded the time to tell all of you here today a little bit of a story. It's a parable of sorts. There was once an old man walking home from work, and he's walking in the snow and he stumbled upon a snake frozen in the ice. He took that snake and he brought it home, and he took care of it. And he thawed it out, and he nursed it back to health. And as soon as that snake was well enough, it BIT that old man. And as that old man laid there dying, he asked the snake, "Why? I took care of you. I loved you. I saved your life." And that snake looked that man right in the eye and said, "You stupid old man. I'm a snake."

    Punk: The greatest thing the Devil ever did was make you people believe he didn't exist—and you're looking at him right now. I am the devil himself and all of you stupid, mindless people fell for it. You all believed in the same make-believe superhero that the legendary Seabster saw some year ago today. No, you see, you didn't know anything. You followed me, hook, line and sinker—all of you did and I'm not mad at you. I just feel sorry for you. This belongs to me. Everything you see here belongs to me. And I did what I had to do to get my hands on this and now I am the greatest pro-wrestler walking the earth today.

    *Aside from a few marks the crowd boos and starts to throw used condoms at Punk*

    Punk: This is my stage. This is my theater. You are my puppets and I pulled those marionette strings, and I used your emotions and I toyed with them, you see, because honestly, I get off on it. I hate each and every single one of you with a thousand—and I will not stop! I will not stop until I prove once and for all, that I am better than you, that I am better than Sir Lee, that I am better than Gohan. I'm better than Black Jesus. Ladies and gentlemen, the champ is here.!You don't have to love it, but you better learn to accept it, because I'm taking this with me and there isn't a single person in that locker room that can stop me!

    *CM Punk drops the mic and yells "BEST IN THE WORLD!!"*
    • Like Like x 1

  16. I still have 19 hours left...
  17. I know the time is a lot but Shadow posted his 2nd and this match is a 2 promo match. Just sayin.
  18. I see...
  19. Hogan: Hulkamania's gettin' impatient, brother! Let's get this on, Mean Gene!