IWT is full of candy asses.

Discussion in 'IWT Archives' started by B.Dazzle, Feb 3, 2014.

  1. City: Detroit, Michigan

    *The fans boo as the man now known as The Dazzler makes his way from the back with his Tag Team Championship around his waist. He has a mic in his hand and a smile on his face. He's wearing a black vest over no shirt with black pants. The Dazzler walks down the entrance ramp and gets in the ring. He goes to speak but is sounded out by boos. The Dazzler waits for the boos to die down and then goes to speak again.*

    Dazzler: Finally.........The Dazzler has come back to I.....I......I couldn't give crap out about this company even if I tried.

    *The fans boo.*

    Dazzler: Don't boo The Dazzler. The Dazzler can say what ever he wants too. Look at all of you. Booing The Dazzler. You jabronis couldn't get in this company even if the opportunity knocked on your door. You know why? Because most of you lazy, fat, pieces of trash probably couldn't even get off your couch in time to answer the door.

    *The Dazzler looks at a fan.*

    Dazzler: Especially you, fatboy. Look at you, just look at you. You're probably to busy stuffing your face with cake while playing dungeons and dragons in your mom's basement to even make it to a bathroom, let alone your front door. Hell, the only reason your ass probably came down here was for the free nachos The Dazzler saw they were selling in the ticket area. The Dazzler is also one hundred percent sure you didn't come here with the women sitting next to you.

    *Dazzler turns his attention to the female next to the guy.*

    Dazzler: Hey baby, how would you like to go one on one with The Dazzler?

    *The girl gives The Dazzler a dirty look and flips her hair back.*

    Dazzler: Woah, woah, woah. You don't give The Dazzler your little bitchy hair flips. You should be lucky The Dazzler doesn't hit women, or however close you are to being one, because he'd whip that candy ass. You know what? The Dazzler wants to know your name.

    *Dazzler rolls out of the ring and walks over to the girl. The girl stands up.*

    Dazzler: Lady, what is your name.

    Girl: My name is..

    Dazzler: It doesn't matter what your name is!

    *The fans erupt in boos as The Dazzler smiles and walks in the ring.*

    Dazzler: Now, The Dazzler has had enough of your monkey asses. He ain't out here because of you. Nobody ever comes out here for you. The Dazzler's been in this town for 4 hours and he already can't wait to get back on his first class seat and get out of here. It's no wonder why they call this place the Motor City. Everybody wants a car so they can get the hell out of it already.

    *The boos get even louder.*

    Dazzler: Listen people, The Dazzler came out here for one reason and one reason only. He came out here to talk about the members of the IWT roster, not the IWT fans. So The Dazzler says we get this started. Now don't worry, The Dazzler doesn't want this to be to long. It's been a long night. The Dazzler wants to get done, get his money, and get out of here already. So lets get this started with none other than Sir Lee. @TheOvalhead

    *Crowd boo.*

    Dazzler: Well, it doesn't surprise me that the people of Detroit would boo somebody of higher intellect. Well, The Dazzler guesses that would mean you boo everybody. Sir Lee, The Dazzler is ready for you at E.C. He's never been more ready to whip somebody's candy ass than he is right now. He's going to whip that candy ass so bad, you'll never have to worry about being Ben Dover again. Now on to my next guy. He is the IWT Champion, @Aids Johnson

    *Crowd pop.*

    Dazzler: You guys like him, don't you. Everybody loves Aids, right? Well, you should all be ashamed of yourselves. The man walks around here all high and mighty with his name after a very serious disease, and you people cheer him. It doesn't surprise me though, considering The Dazzler is in a town filled with disease ridden prostitutes who have never heard the world condom. Aids is the IWT champion, but you better believe that The Dazzler is gonna whip his candy ass at Elimination Chamber. Whip his ass so bad he'll think his name is Magic. Now on to the next name. That roody poo piece of garbage named Unknown. @Adam.

    *Crowd boos.*

    Dazzler: Now, all of you know that it was Unknown who took The Dazzler's I.C championship away. Here's the thing, nobody remembers that. Why? Because that jabroni only had the title for less than three weeks. Kid didn't even win one match as a champion. First match since winning the title, and boom, he loses. Story of his life. The kid's a loser, who got lucky once. The Dazzler would beat that candy ass any day and at any time. Heck, you all want to know the reason he call's himself Unknown? It's because nobody actually cares to know who his candy ass is. Now to end this for now, the last name The Dazzler will be talking about is............Joey Bryant. @DK James

    *Fans erupt in cheers and chants of Joey Bryant.*

    Dazzler: We know, we know. Everybody loves Joey Bryant. It's all The Dazzler has heard for months. "Oh well, Joey Bryant is the future of this company." " Joey Bryant is the next IWT Champion." "Well you know, Joey Bryant will kiss anybodies ass for a title shot." That piece of crap isn't the future. He may be on some rise, but The Dazzler hasn't even started his rise yet and is already one of the top competitors here. The Dazzler gave Joey Bryant an ass whipping once, he'll most certainly do it again.

    *Fans begin to boo and start chanting "Joey pinned you."

    Dazzler: You know what people. You can all take your boos and your chants, turn them sideways, and shove it up your candy ass. Then once you are done shoving it all up your own ass, you can then proceed to kiss The Dazzler's ass!

    *The Dazzler drops the mic and leaves the ring with a giant grin on his face, as the fans are giving him hell with all the boos.*
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  3. You know it.
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  4. *As Dazzle goes up the ramp, he is met by Sir Lee, he smirks at him and applauds with a hint of sarcasm. Sir Lee is wearing his Black suit and blue tie, with his IWT IC belt tightly strapped around his waist*

    Sir Lee: So touching..... It took you way......WAY TO LONG! Finally though, you realise what matters in your career, your own personal wellbeing and situation, not the commoners who pay their cash to come here, rather than invest in their future LIKE THE VERMIN THEY ARE!!!!

    *Crowd boos*

    Sir Lee: This doesn't change Friday though, because on Friday, you're still going to feel my wrath, I'm going to make you bleed again, and hey if I face once a month for the next year, techincally you'll be the first man to have a menstrual cycle.

    *Sir Lee audibly laughs, chuckling at his own joke, the fans shake their heads*

    Sir Lee: You idiots thought this guys persona was humour-some , witty and exciting, so excuse me if your shaking makes me believe my joke was even funnier than I though it was before...

    When we face this Friday, in our 3rd meeting AND OUR FIRST...EVER ONE ON ONE, we will wear show each and every other wannabe on this Godforsaken roster THAT WE ARE THE FUTURE!!!

    *Sir Lee Points to Dazzle then back at himself*

    Sir Lee: But just like Royal Rumble....It will be SIR LEE whooping your candy ass, and once again, Natural Selection will choose SIR LEE to be the victor. And at E.C, I'll show the Ultimate Warrior HOW YOU BE A DUAL CHAMPION!!!

    Get ready Dazzle, and when I say get ready, I mean get your camera ready for when I proudly hold both glorious belts above my head in that sadistically crafted piece of architecture known the Chamber, as I show the World I AM ONE OF THE GREATEST FIGHTERS THAT THE UFC NEVER GOT!!!!
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