jeremy kyle show staring gav the chav and gavs mum who is my dad?

Discussion in 'IWT Archives' started by Gav in da BPL!, Oct 10, 2013.

  1. (jeremy kyle) on tonight show i have a young man trying to find and here he is gav can you please come to the stage

    *gav comes out *

    So gav tell everyone your story

    (gav the chav) right basically i've grew up witout a father yes coz me mams a fucking slag and i've come here today to find out the truth

    (jeremy kyle) ok theres no need to disrespect your mum like that gavin lets here what she has to say here is gavs mum

    Over to you Seabs
  2. *Mrs The Chav runs out onto the stage screaming towards Gavin*

    (GTCM) Here you little *beep* you're a f*beep*ing liar. I ain't no slag to anyone.

    (Jeremy) Here don't come on my show and speak like that. Sit down.

    *The security staff force the creator of the Chav, Gav's mum instinctively begins to get on her knees before the security staff place her on her seat.*

    (GTCM) Jeremy you don't know what it's lyk having to grow up wiv him afta his faver left me.

    (JK) So you know who the father is?

    (GTCM) Absolutely I waz @ slimmin world wiv Carol ( the fat bitch ate a full cheesecake after breaking one of her nails) and then it hit me like a bolt of white ligtnin. The faver is.

    (JK) We'll find out who the father is after this break.


    The show cuts to a break.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. show continues

    (jeremy kyle) welcome back ok lets bring out my next here he is eric draven

  4. *Draven walks out wearing his hall of peace shirt and his wrestling trunks.*

    (JK) Mr Draven take a seat.

    ED: Thankayou very muchly Brother Jeremy.

    Gav's mum : Well look who's finally stumbled in to the fukin picture its the 25 second wonder.

    JK: Sit down and shut your mouth and let the man speak.

    *Gav's mum is restrained in her seat by the security staff*

    ED : Brother Jeremy, I know for a fact I'm not the father due to an unfortunate accident a few years ago.

    JK : Gavin, how do you feel about this dispute?
  5. (gav) i couldn't give a fuck mate to be honest just open the god damn envelope

    (Jk) ok fine
    *jeremy recieves envelope*

    Eric draven... You are not the father!
  6. *The Audience Clap at hearing the news.....Bruce Knight is in the Audience watching....Clapping as well*

    OOC - Is it alright If I do this?
  7. Ooc yes thats fine
  8. Yep join in all you want.
  9. *eric draven makes his way backstage he seems relieved*

    jeremy kyle now according to our research team you slept with ben dover at around so here he is please welcome to the stage ben dover

    TheOvalhead your up :)
  10. Ben Dover: Hello fuckers, Hello Jeremy Kyle; How's your wife, oh wait, she left you, guess what, condescending trash TV hosts became unattractive 2 years ago you moronic tumour.

    Listen Mrs Inbred, I would rather have anal with Susan Boyle while eating out Queen Latifah than even speak to you, you uneducated fool. I doubt I could ever have sex with you unless you did against my will after drugging me, in which case, I'll see you in court.
    • Like Like x 2
  11. *Knight decides to throw a piece of paper he found somewhere at Dover from the crowd. Security goes over and Knight points to the guy next to him. They Escort the man out as Knight smirks.*
  12. (gav) oi you little cheeky prick don't talk to my mam like that you little **** only i can i hope to god you ain't my dad mam did you really go there?
    *SNaps fingers and kisses lips.*
  14. (gav) woah mam what the fuck ya doing? You fucking slag jezza hurry up and open that envelope

    (Jeremy kyle) ok as you wish
    *producer hands envelope to jk*

    Right listen up *opens envelope* ben dover TheOvalhead ... I'm sorry but you are not gavins father

    *cuts to break*
  16. *show continiues*

    Jk: welcome back the jeremy kyle show now my next 2 guests according to my researches you slept with one when you had a fetish for black guys and the other is a mackam who you had sex with when you were up in sunderland so ladies and gents please give a warm welcome jonathan and dat kid

    Jonathan Dat Kid From Jersey your up :)
  17. (atcm) Dat Kid's impotent ass? NEXT! HE COULDNT EVEN FUKIN CUM.
    • Like Like x 1
  18. Had on a minute pet, ah didn't sleep with yae ya daft cow, what ya talkin about lyk mate. Ya fuckin wrongin yae like
  19. Jk: The results are in. We asked Jonathan have you ever had sex with gavs mum? You answered no , he was telling the truth. We asked have you ever had sex at all? You answered no and he was telling the truth. The last question have you ever left your mom's basement bar going to your nans for haribo? You answered yes. That's a lie and you know it.
    • Like Like x 2
  20. *Guy in the crowd starts a THE DAD IS JONATHAN chant*