Storyline Little Lee attempts to have sex

Discussion in 'IWT Archives' started by Ovaldinho, Jul 12, 2014.

  1. Chris Nowinski: Listen Lee, you got to learn how to have sex again, when you hurt your head your mind has forgotten the process of wooing a female.

    Lee: I know sex, just put penis in her bellybutton right?

    Nowinski:.....Nope. Before this turns anymore into a Adam Sandler movie from the freaking 2000s... Let's find you a lass you can intercourse with.

    Lee: Pffft, I joke, I read sex book after all.

    Nowinski: Don't remind me.

    *We cut to 3 hours from then, Lee is next to Nowinski as he points to a prostitute.

    Lee: big breasts, nice butt, hot hot!

    *Nowinski facepalms*

    Nowinski: This really is one of those sloppy comedy flicks, isn't it? Right, what you have to do is convince her to have sex with you, and how do you do that?

    Lee: Show I am good person?

    Nowinski: NO! You gullible idiot, the other way...

    Lee: Big penis and lots of cash?

    Nowinski: That's my brain damaged protege! Have fun kid.

    *Lee slowly walks to the prostitute with sweaty palms. This is what the prostitute looked like:*


    Lee: Chrissie, that Vivian Parker?

    Nowinski: Ok:
    1. It's Christopher
    2. You mean Victoria
    3. No it isn't Victoria, it's a lookalike who uses her similar looks to get more customers.

    Lee: Ewww, name is Vivian Victoria? weird.

    *Nowinski is about to bash his head on the wall until he gets scared about concussions*

    Nowinski: Whatever. Just go to her, show her your penis and some cash and ask her for "some assistance along the way". Got it champ?

    Lee: Yep. my names not champ tho.

    Nowinski: I know it isn't... IT'S AN EXPRESSION!!!

    *Lee hurriedly runs away from Nowinski only to crash into the prostitute, he picks her up and waves at her.

    Prostitute: What the hell do you think you're doing?

    *Lee whips out his penis and $300, her eyes open wide*

    Prostitute: Let's go rent a motel.


    *Lee leaves the motel looking dazed but has a smile on his face. He gets into a car*

    Nowinski: So, how was the love-making? *Nowinski winks as he nudges Lee*

    Lee: Good! Very Good! nice vagina too. I have sex with Victoria, try out her vagina too?

    Nowinski: NO! NO! NO! But it's good you're back to having sex with hot chicks. Only a few more tweaks and we are ready to bring you back to the title.

    Lee: YAY!

    *They drive away from the motel*
    • Winner Winner x 3
    • Funny Funny x 2
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    • Creative Creative x 1
  2. Victoria looked at the video, wide eyed with shock. "At least I was right to assume that he had a crush on me. This is just disturbing." Turning around, she walked off away from the TV.
    • Funny Funny x 4
  3. inb4 HIV
    • Agree Agree x 1