Main Event Bulges - (why Daniel Bryan will not succeed)

Discussion in 'General WWE' started by Action Jackson, Oct 1, 2013.

  1. There's a very true thing about wrestling. I believe this was a saying of Vince McMahon Sr. "You can't make it to The Garden without a main event bulge in your tights, kid!" He was speaking at the time to Bob Backlund. Now Bob Backlund did make it to The Garden and was one of the longest reigning champions, not unlike CM Punk. But when he was done with the belt, he was pretty much done. They had learned their mistake with him and his midcard bulge. It didn't draw money. He was only brought back in 95 to be squashed by a man with a real main event bulge, Kevin Nash.

    After Backlund, you had Iron Sheik. Sheikie Baby has a main event bulge, bubba. Then Hogan went over Sheik to start Hulkamania. Hulk Hogan has a main event bulge.


    Then of course you have Ultimate Warrior. Warrior had a main event bulge. You can see his protruding bulge here as he's sensually bearhugged by Sgt. Slaughter.


    That's a main event bulge, bubba.

    You can take it to more recent times even. THE ANIMAL, Dave Batista AKA He Who Cuckolds John Morrison.

    Total main event bulge.


    Now we bring it to Daniel Bryan....


    That is not a main event bulge. He's not going to go far. You can't be a true champion in this business without a main event bulge. This is why Daniel Bryan has spent the last year or two trying to grow out this beard. He's hoping the beard will overcome his midcard bulge. I'm afraid it's not enough. His bulge is a... C+ at best.

    Randy Orton, the true face of the WWE has a real main event bulge.


    Sorry D-Bry. You did your best, but seriously your bulge is just not main event material. They will pop the nerds by having him get another token win, but he'll never be the face of the WWE the way Hogan, Batista, Cena, or Warrior were. He'll never have Diesel Power.

    Bryan has... Tofu Power or whatever the fuck he eats.

    Facts are facts.

  2. Antonio Cesaro, he has a main event bulge. He'll go far. The Swiss Superdong.
  3. I hope.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton look about the same to me. Orton's pic is just more up close.

    I really don't think a person's main event success is measured by the size of their junk.
    • Like Like x 3

  5. No of course it's not, this is just something a friend and I have joked about for a while. I thought it'd be funny to throw it out there and see what people say.

  6. I think you're the only one trolling. I'm sharing a laugh with other posters. If you can't handle that, maybe you need to stay out of my thread.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. You are telling me that one of the best workers in the world wont succeed because of his dick size.
  8. LOL uh yeah sure that's what I'm saying. :jericho:
  9. Daniel Bryan has a 16 inch member....I mean it's not like we both live in San Diego and I've seen him and Nikki had sex before....but if the question did come up. I can certainly guarantee you they like it in the kitchen.
    • Like Like x 1
  10. But I never spied on them.
  11. Cool story.
  12. Images are broken, legit disappointed.
    • Like Like x 2
  13. There is a ot of talent that goes like that, a good example is Wade Barrett, he won the first NXT, him and the NEXUS dominated RAW , he beated Cena in a PPV and hardly no one can do that,and now he is doing nothing, i hope he gets what he deserves
  14. I got a laugh from this
  15. Op fix your images.

  17. I'm insanely lazy in regards to fixing them. I'll try to get around to it today or tomorrow. Then you shall feel the TRUE POWER OF THE DEATH STAAAR!