My day so far

Discussion in 'Locker Room' started by Kyle, Jul 1, 2012.

  1. I woke up at exactly 6:00. I need no alarm clock. Two women woke me by sucking my cock, which by the way is 9 and a half inches. I didn't need to shower, because my body self cleanses and my pores emit the manliest cologne possible.

    I got in my 2011 Lamborghini Murcielago and another one of my bitches was waiting in the passenger seat. She was in the car all night, because she couldn't sleep without me having penetrated her.
    She hopped on me and started riding my dick while I squeezed her tits and drove with my knees. In three seconds, I arrived at the gym, which was fifty miles away. I threw the bitch off me, and she quickly returned to the passenger seat, where she would sit until I got back. When I got out the car, I flexed.
    My bulging, huge, muscles ripped my shirt off, and six women lined up. We had an orgy, which didn't last too long. Each woman climaxed when my cock came within five inches of her pussy, and went into an eternal state of euphoria after I put it in. I came, and three hundred gallons of semen shot out. It landed in Ghana, and ended the drought.

    I hovered into the gym, because the ground was too scared of my calf muscles to touch my feet. After benching seven thousand tons, I squatted four million kilograms. I started doing my four hundred laps around California, but I got a phone call. It was a conference call with nineteen supermodels.
    They orgasmed after hearing my voice. My bitch in the car was getting lonely, so I went back. She sucked me off as I took the three second drive back home. I left her in the car and went inside, to type this.
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  2. LoL whole day in front of my eyes pure epicness
  3. Bool story Cro
  4. Don't forget to read this in Morgan Freeman's voice.
  5. Here's the opposite; My day!

    Woke up at 11:00. Was suppose to go to Michigan with friends today but couldn't. Slept again until I woke up to enormous hail and rain storm. Go downstairs, and see my mom and sister just looking at the rain as our electricity is out and the garage won't close. They went in the rain and then went to go take a shower as I used up my laptops battery watching the Avengers. Mom and sister left during that time so tried finding shit to do. Tried drawing but got bored easily so I started reading an old book while cycling on those sit down cycling machines for 30 minutes. My sister comes back home and my other sister comes back from work an hour later. We go to watch Ted at the movies but the Movies are packed and the movie is sold out so we just go back home. My dads home with our generator and we go off to find a gas station 5 miles away from our house because the whole town is down. Gas station is packed. Come back home, connect generator, and now on here, with no proper air conditioning and limited electronics.
  6. :haha: Bitch please, you know youspent your day playing World of Warcraft
    • Like Like x 1
  7. :haha:

  9. :bury: bitch don't even get me more mad :serious:
  10. :ryback: YOU CALL ME BITCH? I EAT YOU
  11. My day went on like this:

    Woke up at 9:00 am because some male model wanted to have sex with me ("Let's have sex or I'll die!"). I gave it to him, then he died. I thought "Oh well, one less male obsessed at me.". After that, I saw 3 guys staring at me. So, I asked them "Hey, did you see what happened?". They nodded. I made a deal with them - I'll let them clean me in the showers in exchange with their silence. They told me that I didn't have to do it, but since I offered them, they agreed. We ended up having sex. They fought on who'll carry me and change me in my clothes. They went to the other side of the bathroom, (I'm a genius, billionaire, playgirl scientist, by the way, so my bathroom's really huge that a family of 8 can live in it.), and continued to fight. 2 of them died (I realized just now that they were Brad Pitt and Jeremy Renner.), and the winner was Tom Cruise. I told him that I don't want his marriage to be more ruined, but he said, "Hell, it was ruined when I saw you anyways. You were the reason I'm getting a divorce from that bitch.". He carried me, then put me in my clothes. We ended up having sex again.

    I got dressed again, this time on my own. Tom was begging me to stay, but I told him he can "visit" me tomorrow.

    I drove to the Stark Tower to help Tony Stark build a replacement Iron Man suit. This lasted for only 3 minutes, driving at 150 miles per hour. I built an upgraded version of his suit upon arrival for 5 minutes. He paid me a billion dollars, then we started having sex on his bed. I was so good at sucking his dick that his arc reactor malfunctioned. Good thing I was expecting something like this, so I gave him the arc reactor that I made during the suit-making. We continued doing the deed. He wanted another round, but his superhero duties called. I'm now typing this while waiting for Thor to come back from his mission. ;))


    Show Spoiler

    Me with the male model

    Me sucking off Tom.

    Sorry i don't have other pictures guys, my AI Jane only took those. Bad angles, I know. I'll fix her up after I'm finished with Thor. ;PP
    • Like Like x 1
  12. ^ LOLOOLOLOL:jericho::jericho::lol1::lol1::lol1::pity::dawg::win::win::win::haha::haha::jeritroll::jeritroll::jeritroll::boss1:
  13. You're a f*cking virgin!
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Show Spoiler
    Needed more then one :flair:
  15. Your signature is of a man with his penis bulging out of his underwear, whom you watch wrestle with other men.
    • Like Like x 1
  16. That could mean he's gay, but not a virgin.
  17. What a contradiction and oxymoron.... You can't be fucking and be a virgin, and you can't be a virgin if you're fucking. hmmm....
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  18. :win:
    • Like Like x 1