It's the Great American Bash, and apparently there's nothing more american than Epico and Primo, then the camera pans over to the Uso's, and then Beth talking about her uncle Bret to Yoshi Tatsu, who then asks for a translation from Hunico.. (Beth's uncle Bret?) Eight people, one American... Okay, sure. Ahhh shit, Kaitlyn in a bikini. This Smackdown's already a 5. Teddy appears? Spoke too soon. The revenge on Eve was cool, wish Santino would use the Cobra hand to light the fire, nice swerve with Kane's pyro there, instead of being a heel party pooper. Fun little segment. Battle royal? Don't care. AJ Lee intervention... Yeah, I'm dreading this SD. So it's a Sin Cara injury angle after all? We have a Mexican facing an Irish guy, did anyone else notice how many foreigners are in WWE today? Could do more with this promo, oh here we go, he's running running around parodying the Arizona government. And, Sheamus took Kane's spot as the Official Smackdown Party Pooper and here's your Orton booking, Sheamus beating Alberto's ass right before the OH SHIT DUDE JUST SLAMMED THE HOOD OF THE CAR ON HIM! That looked so much more painful than it actually was. Crazy stuff by PG era standards. "This is a different Alberto Del Rio than we've seen in the past" #GetColeOffOfCommentary We Have Blood! Get em ADR! Beat his ass! Le wild Khali appears... this oughta be worth a laugh. Why does Layla have an infinity sign on her gear? Gear could be a hell of a lot better. Layla's sexy. Is it really a good idea to mention Khali being a world champ? I could take him. I miss Maxine. Probably some interesting things someone with Claudio's talent can do with a guy like Khali... never mind, it's your basic Khali match. Quick squash, and Layla's now using Tiffany's music? Eww... At least it fits! But if it leads to Layla acting more whore-ish, hell yeah. YES RHODES! Did the Board of Directors turn heel or something? Cody vs Christian... good grief, that's beyond boss. HAHAHAHAHA! I loved that moment! WCW mentioning that Mick Foley was winning the world title and treating it like a joke... Hey Cloud, do you remember that? LOL. New Age Outlaws. The Rock... That seemed epic. Nice one WCW, your incompetence amuses me. Rhodes vs Christian now? Hell yeah! Rhodes is one of the few guys who I see passion from in the ring, he can do a whole lot less like like everyone else does, but he doesn't. He brings it. The smack into the dropkick was cool, Alabama Slam into the roll-up, Killswitch into Crossrhodes, Rhodes is in. Yay, that match is going to be awesome! Had a nice buzz going there, then Hornswoggle shows up. Zack Ryder makes an ass of himself again... Oh baby, here's Slater and his little single! Holy shit, was that a Percy Watson sighting? Couldn't tell, too busy shamelessly staring at Kaitlyn. And here's A-Ry, all the never-used guys are coming out of the woodwork tonight! And, here's a rematch from the dark match of Summerslam 2011, please don't be a squash. "Future World Heavyweight Champion" Very good, lets try to forget his dumb ass title reign... then Josh Matthews has to ruin that. This commentary team sucks. "I've got a lot of confidence in Alex Riley, but it's who you surround yourself with" Pretty sure several dirtsheets are looking in to that comment, Book. Riley's a boss, Ziggler's the best sports entertainer in the world. Loads of hope spots for Riley, Zig-Zag, it's over. Christian, Cody, Dolph, and Tyson in the same ring in 2 weeks? I'm creaming myself thinking about that. Not even those other idiots can derail that. We're 37 minutes (plus commercials) into the show, and I have no complaints! And, here's AJ. Spoke too soon. Really digging the Hot Topic attire . Winter did it so much better though. Five minute video package of Raw Recaps that got annoying live on Raw? . Oooh, Cole's trying to pick up AJ! Hahahahahahahahaha! This is hysterical! "Look at me, a physical specimen!" This will be the only time you see this on the internet, so keep this moment special: "Fuck off, Daniel Bryan!" Why is Daniel Bryan trying to get face heat by making fun of Cole... screw it, it doesn't make a difference anyway. Bryan has confidence in AJ? Why? "You didn't mean for me to go through that table" Holy shit, Daniel Bryan's bringing logic into a WWE Promo! Finally! YES! YES! YES! And, he're's Punk, to take Sheamful's new role as Smackdown's party pooper. Punk's being hellaciously boring here, the promo segment was great up to this, and as someone who has plenty of friends with mental issues, this storyline has went from retarded to offensive. Get it off my TV. AJ kisses D-Bry, so Bryan has the advantage going into the pay-per-view, then AJ kisses Punk... Seems a little pointless. So, AJ's really just a sex-troll... Pretty speechless tbh. Obligatory filler tag team match time, playa! Santino celebrating independence day is kinda crazy? Oh, it's a Legends segment! Sgt Slaughter, that's cool, and here's Johnny from Ed Edd and Eddy! Cole: "Finally, someone I'm in better shape than!" Lolololol. Wait, Hunico and Drew Mcintyre are part of this mess? FUCK YOU WWE. Not watching this. Next segment. We're actually getting backstage segments in the WWE, this is one of the best smackdowns ever just for that. And speaking of party pooper's, Damien Sandow ruining everything! Such a boss, dear lord. "Mouthbreathing miscreants" Eve getting the punch thrown on her! If only it was a t-shirt... Hawkins and Reks sighting! Woot! Yay, Reks mic time! Fuck, Ryback squash. At least Curt showed that he at least belongs on the roster. Ryback vs Tyler Reks... I wouldn't mind if that went to PPV. That match can be amazing if booked correctly, would rather see him get fed three though. That chick on that paranormal show is pretty hot. Battle Royal Time, only 8 minutes left. This'll be quick. Gabriel the first to go? Fuck off. Brodus burial continues, weird to see Ricardo out there. Ryder and Sandow feud is officially on, gonna love that. Big Show eliminating Rhodes and Kofi. Chokeslam on Big Show was monsterous, 3 on one attack on Cena, incoming SuperCena burial... Here it comes, obligatory Cena crap. He throws out the #1 contender like he's nothing... And, Big Show to the rescue... More Big Show. Gotta love how every relevant young talent has been thrown out by this guy. Thank you Kane, get his ass out of here. Ryder and Kane? Huh. Holy shit, Ryder won? Wow! It's another face victory, but an underdog win is always nice to see. Doesn't make up for all the Big Show bullshit, but that was really cool. Smackdown will be must see because Sandow's going to troll his ass incessantly. 6.5/10, good stuff.