Here is my RAW review, i read how bad people gave it, and decided I would contribute my opinons, so you can all save time. This is going to be long, but if you agree with people like @Rain , and we all do, you might as well just read this instead, and youtube the worthwhile parts. This will also be my 8k post, so @Crayo if you like it, put a ring on it. Alright, lets go to it. What a start, any time Mince comes out i mark, and it's with Heyman? We all know what that means (us with common sense) Vince clutches the crutch and heyman says "i didnt do anything!" before receiving a hit. HERE COMES BORK..SMASH BORK!!!!!!! SMASH! Time to play the game, MARKING SO HARD FOR THIS. The same gear, because when HHH doesn't wear a suit, he rocks a leather jacket and "oops, i pooped my pants" style jeans. Either way, THIS is what ive been waiting for. This start is a 10/10. DUDE THAT BLOOD. THAT SPINEBUSTER!! THIS is how Raw should start. Cena/punk tonight, that should actually be good, as long as it's a clean win. MizTV tonight? stop doing that shit. Here comes Goldberg. Goldberg/dz, we all know who is going to be pinned. Alread, a fucking recap? It happened 5 minutes ago. HHH and that spinebuster, seriously that move was sick. I'm here to show the world, with that skinny 15 year old, and the guy who protects him (as if he needs it ) Here comes bill goldberg, don't give him the mic. Its official, DZ = HBK of this era, my god can he sell. Show off, dz, show off. Cole had to let us know, "ryback has been in a mood." Oh god, thanks so much for that. GOLDBERG chants always give me a cheap laugh, you can tell who is old enough to remember Goldberg, and those who dont know who he is. Big E doing work, i know most wont agree but i'd love Big-e vs Ryback for WM preshow. THAT DDT, DZ > So many. THERE IT IS AGAIN, i have NEVER seen DZ put someone out with the sleeper hold, stop saying it's worked against many a superstar, Cole. Here comes a shit finisher. Ryback over DZ, why? Because. This match, 5/10. Here comes a movie with in it, i dont care, why hasn't this been edited out of my download. Is that Halle Berry? Why, put a B level actress in a B movie, what a waste. You're just an operator, what will you do? GPS you cocksucker, keep your Phone number, and find out your info all from that one single call. This is the kind of stuff my roommates watch to get a cheap laugh out of. 0/10 stop wasting my time. Look in my eyes, what do you see? A douche full of personality. I know people have seen me hate on punk, that's probably over, i love the underdog. Hoping punk loses clean today, only because i am begging myself to believe we are going to see the Undertaker. Another recap...thanks for letting me know nothing irrelevant, Cena wont give you the willy wonka winning candybar, but for no reason he is going to fuck himself over again! How did that money in the bank work out? No? Ok we know who is winning #wwelogic. Give dude the mic, he was born to speak, like that 2 year old @Testify preacher kid. Speaking of punk, AIDS > FTJ. This is not a night i will talk to my grandkids about, unless i tell them about how terrible of an idea being "straight edge" and bragging about it is. You're vegetarian and thought i would change my food choices before you came over? Enjoy the veggie tray, i dont give a fuck. Promo 7/10 OH GOD FOLEY AND BRUNO!??? That is a class, all 4. The fuck. YOU ARE WASTING THE HOF WITH TRUMP!?? Trump's dad made his money, why do people give a fuck about this idiot outside of his shit hair and horrible reality shows. He fired c level celebs and D level people who think they are famous? Fuck you WWE, and someone just kill him and call it good. I'll just forget this part. This is shameful, he better be the opener. Khali....Henry? We saw him worlds biggest slam Khali, just let this trash be over with. CABBAGE. Every time i see Khali, i stare at how small his legs are from the knee down. At least this is a quick squash match. 5/10, give Henry that heat, but you missed out having him do NOTHING new from his last win over Khali. What, the, fuck. Marine 3, a movie with Miz, who is a mediocre actor. He has what it takes, do be the next WWE star to do a Mr. Nanny style movie. Here comes that asshole, i cant believe people mark for him now that he is "face." I love how much heat he gets being heel, what a waste. I guess this means Miztv, id rather just skip it, but wont let me. DESTINY....... Swag and ADR, golden, now shut the fuck up miz. I'd waste your time joking and talking trash, but you just need to watch this. My time to talk is over, now it's time to shut up. 10/10. Viper/Cesaro? Damn i'm interested. I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD, they talk to me, they understand, im Crazy. Such a huge fan of Cesaro. This has been a good match so far, im assuming it ends with an RKO after 1st attempt fails. Oh man, what a horrible ending. 5/10. Here is my favorite team, someone kill this deal, and let DB get a haircut, he looks so goofy now. Please, do the blindfold. Kane with hand tied? YES. Vicky shows up, and now we get to see PTP squashed with DB Blindfolded? DEAL. Cole is an announcer who thinks he is a meterologist, all that hand movement is stupid. ANOTHER FUCKING VIDEOCAP?? Up next, Sheamus, just fast forward or go make some food. Fuck Sheamus. They even make suits for idiots his size, same as Cena before, crazy. "Is he wearing a tuxedo?" Asked Lawler. No, you fucking dolt, it's called a 3 piece suit. Seriously, skip this. 0/100000000000 R-truth is back, Sandow on commentary. He faces Cody, and Cody is going to job. Match was awesome until (see Orton's ending). 3/10 max. Zeb/Swag promo. Swag must be balding, that hair deal is just confusing. My dad crying because my mom needs to get another job. Asshole, you have plenty of paper to help your parents with. I love the "real american" look. Put the white trash fishing tops on and some khakis. #Weedthepeople. 5/10. Here comes the tag match, this is going to be interesting. DB is so awesome, i just want this to end honestly. Watch this match, ill go 8/10 for DB's celebration alone. That's fucking teamwork. Congrats on 1million subs, wwe. Thats like the same as people like Coppercab. Seriously, congratu-fucking-lations. Time for ANOTHER mince/Heyman recap. This is where you people who said HHH wasnt facing bork should go eat your words. Here comes the Shield, mark @Crayo, mark. I honestly love the walking down the crowd idea, so damn good. It's always going to get worse, before it get's better, right nWo? Shield getting beat by sheamus orton....weak. At least orton goes into the crowd, i dont know why i mark so much but i do. Orton wins, Sheamus is worthless, and we get a horrible feeding to build for it? At least Jericho wasnt here, we'd have to see more idiotic threads about him "being leader of the shield." This is just annoying as hell, do i need you to announce the match 5 times before it happens? Stop. Time for Miz/Swag. I'll assume Miz wins over some BS because his movie is the commercial, and do something else while i watch the match. Yep, swag has a jobber entrance. Swag wins? Awesome, that's all that matters. I googled Frank the Jock, and this is what i found. Forget the Miz, watch Frank's *Content is not mine, i own no rights to it, posting for educational (future wwe hall of famer) material purposes. Lawler had a heart attack, so he eats fried foods to get back on track. ANOTHER FUCKING RECAP! Rock Cena, Cena attacked by punk. The old spinner championship hurt his back so bad, boo hoo for you. Undertaker Tout, god i would mark so good. Rock/Cena for the WWE #1 contenders spot, Cm out first, look in his eyes, and tell him DB is the BITW. Cena comes out, kids mark, their moms wish they had a cena for a husband, they love his money. I'll be honest with you, the match was decent, i hate the whole "finisher" that doesnt finish anything, and I am glad Cena wins, after that Taker tout. Seriously, if you think i'm wrong, bet me on it and lose, i'd be glad to embarass you. Worst, huricanrana, ever. AA and Cena wins clean over punk, their feud is over, finished, complete, ended, dont waste my time with another one. It was shitty, useless, confusing, overused, and IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT IT WAS! vs should be over for a few months now, dont make me think Rocky wants to turn it into a 3way, wwe. This Raw was decent, ill go 5/10, the recaps and movies were annoying, and it really was saved from hate entirely based on the fact i didnt have to deal with commercials on top of those horrible promos/recaps/previews. If you read this all +5 rep, thats a lot of bs.