Promos The Cure: Punk Pipebomb

Discussion in 'IWT Archives' started by Tumbas' #1 Fan, Sep 1, 2013.

  1. #1 Tumbas' #1 Fan, Sep 1, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2013
    *Jwab, The Jokester of The Cure, come out in a CM Punk parody attire and Alias comes out in a Colt Cabana parody attire. He does not look happy about it. It looks like he was bribed into it*​
    *He grabs the mic and smiles*​
    Jacob, Rodrigo, while you sit there, hopefully as uncomfortably as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this. because before me & Alias defend the Tag Team Championships against you at NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS, I have a lot of things I wanna get off my chest.​
    I don't hate you either of you. I don't even dislike you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back. I hate this idea that you two are the best - because you're not. We're the best. We're the best in the worlld. There's one thing you're better at than I am and that's kissing Dat Kid's ass. You're as good at kissing Dat Kid's ass as Victoria was. I don't know if you're as good as Adam. He's a pretty damn good ass-kisser. Always was and still is. Oops! Am I breaking the fourth wall?​
    *waves at the camera*​
    We are the best wrestlers in the world. I've been the best ever since DAY ONE when I walked into IWT. And I've been villified and hated since that day because Aids saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a Aids Johnson guy. You know who else was a Aids Johnson guy? Suicide or Shadox. Whatever the fuck you call him. And he won. Just like I'm winning. But the biggest difference between me and Shadox is that I'm the better man. He got a push because of you kissed Dat Kid's ass. I'm winning because I deserved it. But this isn't towards you. This is towards that shit tag team known as The Crusade​
    I've grabbed so many of Dat Kid's imaginary brass rings that it's finally dawned on me that they're just that. They're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is The Cure. And the fact that day in and day out, for almost twenty years, we've proved that we are the best on these microphones, in that very ring and even on commentary. Nobody can touch us. And yet, no matter how many times, WE PROVE IT, We're not your lovely little collectors' cups, We're not on the cover of the program, we're barely promoted, we don't get to be in movie, we're not on any crappy show on the WWEF Network, we're not on the poster of Wrasslemania, we're not on the signature that's produced at the start of the show. We are not on the Seabs show.​
    We are not on the Crayo show either, but the fact of the matter is we should be. And trust me, this isn't sour grapes, but the fact that "Victoria" is in the main event of Wrestlemania next year and we're not, makes me sick!​
    Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering for us right now. You are just as big a part of me winning as anyone else, because you're the ones buying our merchandise. You're the ones that buy The Cure webisodes. You're the ones that buy the magazines with us on the cover, and then at the airport, you try to shove it in our face thinking you can get an autograph and sell it on eBay, because you're too lazy to get a real job. You are the reason The Cure is making an impact.​
    We're leaving with the Tag Team Championships at Night of Champions and hell, who knows, maybe we'll leave and go defend it in Internet Championship Wrestling. Maybe we'll go back to Ring of Kebab *looks at the camera* Hey, smelly turk, how you doing? The reason we're winning is you people. Because after we win. You're still going to give your hard earned money to us. You're just a spoke on the wheel. And if you think you'll spreading The Cure. Then you have another thing coming. You are just another spoke on the wheel. The wheel is gonna keep on turning til we cure the world. And I understand that you think Dat Kid's gonna stop us and then make more money. He's a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he's not a billionaire? It's because he surrounds himself with glad-handing nonsensical douche bag yes-men like Airbourne, who's gonna tell him everything he wants him to hear. And we'd like to think that maybe this place will get better after Dat Kid is dead, but the fact is, it's gonna get taken over by his idiotic henchman and his doofus second in command and the rest of his retarded family.​
    You think I'm gonna leave without something to offer! Well, we are releasing a new shirt. And you can go buy it at the IWT SHOP! Also, one more thing.​
    You are cancer. We are the Cure.​
    OOC - I felt that I seemed that people were forgetting about me...their Tag Team Champion. So I decided to copy something but switch it around. Pls no criticize for like some of the roles. I was thinking some names just cuz yolo. But yeah, I kinda stole this idea from someone else known as The Great Popes.​
    And yeah, IWT Shop. Make it happen. @Big E Rection​

    • Like Like x 4
  2. That moment when you write a promo and you don't know what's going on. Lame.
  3. 1) I'm not Rhodes here
    2) Sackfist is not my partner
    3) We aren't the number first contenders
    4) You aren't defending the title at Uprising.

    GTS son
    • Like Like x 1
  4. #4 Tumbas' #1 Fan, Sep 1, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2013
    Not updated.
  5. #5 Tumbas' #1 Fan, Sep 1, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2013
    Pointless post that I just edited to not make me look like a dumbass which makes me look like an even huger dumbass.
  6. Well, I was PMd that you & Sackfist are facing us not that long ago.....I haven't been updated since and I was told we were defending them against you guys on Uprising so sorry m8
  7. Ok, this post may be pointless but I have not been updated on what I am doing. Maybe THG has. But I haven't. Last thing I heard was at Uprising, sometime in September, that me & THG were defending the titles against Sackfist & Rhodes. So if you think that saying YOU GOT IT WRONG in the replies isn't going to change something. Consider this a promo that was supposed to happen then :)
  8. Make sure you know all info before posting it ;) you got wrong everything haha

    Me and Nano Rah are facing DX2006 and ? At Uprising for the #1 contenders spot. You will defend them at NOC
  9. OH OK, I'm just gonna edit the promo towards you and Nanorah and switch Uprising to Night Of Champions lol
  10. Again, we might not be the first contenders... We have to face DX first
  11. Which I don't know they are so I'm just gonna assume that you guys win :p so now does the promo look good? :adr:
  12. im rodrigo, not rhodes :dawg:
  14. Finally.

    NanoRah14 Work on a promo. I dont have time today. Going back to spain in 1 hr
  16. Dat Kid comes on the titantron

    I don't know what kind of organization you think this is, but you don't make a name for yourself by dragging MY name through the dirt. You want to come out here and imitate a pipebomb. Well let me give you one of my own right now, homemade, guerilla warfare style.

    Listen closely everyone because I'm about to tell a story about The Cure. See these group of idiots came into this company not too long ago with the mindset that they would be, and correct me if I'm wrong, taking over the IWT. They were ambitious young men who I thought deserved a shot at the gold and I gave it to them and they ran with it.

    The Cure now owns 50% of the gold in IWT and they would like to think that they did it on their own willpower, but the truth is there is something or rather someone who contributed to that motion. That someone is me. You see without me, The Cure would have no gold. I could bury the Cure so badly right now they would be neighbors with Danielson 's Native American ancestors.

    I know how the Cure operates, they go to the back and they try to bribe into making storylines that advance their careers while killing the careers of others. Anyone ever question why Farooq lost to David? or how Cure took the tag titles in the world's shortest match? It's all backstage politics by the man who thinks he's some sort of rebel of the system.

    The fact of the matter is, he's not, Jwab Atom and the rest of The Cure like to play backstage politics. They like to send me messages on Skype to try and pitch ideas, so that the spotlight is only on them and no one else. They're out to "save" IWT, their actions will destroy it.

    Earlier you said, I'm upset because Aids Johnson saw something in you, You know who else Aids Johnson saw something in? Me, you fucking idiot and I became the IWT Champion, then I hung up my boots to run this company and it is thriving like it has never thrived before. I took this company from a comatose state and I was it's life support. Meanwhile, back in this fantasy world of The Cure, their version of "taking over" is nothing but a few splashes in the undercard.

    Actually, the only one who's actually made a real impact in this business is George and he just missed his chance to become IWT Champion, was probably at some bar cause I know that's what alcoholics like yourselves like to do. Speaking of alcoholics, allow me to correct that earlier statement about Aids Johnson. Aids Johnson didn't see something in you, you saw something in Aids Johnson.

    Aids Johnson, a desperate veteran in this company who is struggled and is still struggling to stay relevant in this business. Since Aids returned, how many people have given two shits? No one. That's why he comes out here and brags about all his past accomplishments. That's why he didn't cash in Money in the Bank on Seabs when he was injured, because he wants to hold on to that briefcase as long as he can, because he thinks it makes him "relevant".

    Just like you thought adding Aids Johnson to The Cure would make yourselves relevant and it really hasn't. No one wants to see an old has been, an idiot who no shows title opportunities, a guy who thinks this is a porno set, and a bunch of other bland rookies who are so vanilla it makes Senhor Perfect look like Biggie Smalls.

    So you can recruit your hasbeens, ripoff promos, and claim to be taking over this company when you're doing as much as Based God Darth on a good day, but at the end of the day if you ain't making me money, then you can kiss those titles goodbye. That's not a threat, that's a promise and this was not a pipebomb, this was the bells tolling for the death of The Cure.

    Titantron fades to black
    • Like Like x 10
  17. Solid B+
    • Like Like x 2
  18. Victoria is main eventing IWTMania next year? Not on my watch.
    • Like Like x 2
  19. *Danielson backstage*

    These are the clowns I GAVE my tag team titles too?
    • Like Like x 2
  20. I wasn't here. Promo coming later on today!