The Jabroni Hunter.

Discussion in 'IWT Archives' started by B.Dazzle, Feb 14, 2014.

  1. *The fans let out a big mixed reaction as The Dazzler walks out at the 58 second mark. He struts down to the ring wearing his black pants, Belt Buckle, and black vest. He gets a mic from off the steep steps and climbs to the top turnbuckle. He raises his arm up in the air and actually gets a loud pop. The Dazzler leaps off the turnbuckle and gets in the ring. He stands in the middle of the ring and begins to speak.*

    Dazzler: Finally...............The Dazzler has come back to the IWT. Which means, The Dazzler is out here to kick some candy ass!

    *Fans pop and start a chant of "Dazzle".*

    Dazzler: Hey now, don't you all go sucking up to The Dazzler now. The Dazzler knows you people love him, but couldn't give a damn about your love. The Dazzler ain't out here to talk to you. The Dazzler came out here because he's on a hunt. He's on a wild hunt to find some of IWT's biggest jarbonis and beat all their monkey asses. Each and every single one of them. Hell, bring them out in a giant line for all The Dazzler cares. One by one, he'll knock each of them down. Like a game of dominoes, except with Jabronis instead. One jabroni falls down, knocking down the next jabroni, knocking down the next, and etc. Hell, just look backstage. It's one giant jabroni fest. In the locker rooms, at catering, in the bathroom, in the showers. Everywhere. Everytime a theme music for a wrestler hits, boom, jabroni! You go outside to get your mail, you find a jabroni. You look down in your pants, you find a small jabroni. This world is full of them, and each one of em needs to get their ass kicked for the common good of you, the millions, and millions of..........well..........jabronis. It's that simple.

    *Fans begin to boo.*

    Dazzler: Let's take a look at the list of names. Eric Draven? No showing jabroni. Senhor Perfect? Old ass jabroni. Aids Johnson? Jabroni who apparently wants everyone to know he has an STD, which is why he isn't getting pie anytime soon. Just look at those names. All of the most prominent stars in IWT, are nothing but a bunch of useless, pathetic, fat chick banging, stuck in the gutter, jabronis.

    *More booing.*

    Dazzler: The Dazzler will be honest though. There is one jabroni who THe Dazzler has wanted to get his hands on since he can remember. This guy is the king of the jabronis. When he was born, the doctors looked at him and said to his parents "Dear GOD! What in the blue hell is this?!" That man would grow on to become easily the most annoying, bitchiest man in IWT history. That's right, The Dazzler is talking about Frank the Jock. This is mumbling, stumbling, bitch comes out here every week whining and complaing like a fat kid who couldn't get his hourly piece of chocolate cake. He runs his mouth saying "Oh Hell No. I'm FTJ. I FIRST IWT WORLD CHAMPION! GIVE ME TITLE SHOT!" The guy goes on and on. Literally. The guy doesn't shut the hell up. At home. "I FTJ. I DESERVE DINNER FURST!". In the shower. "Oh Hell No. I FTJ. I NO NEED SOAP!". In the bedroom. "Oh Hell No. I FTJ. FURST IWT WORLD CHAMPION. PULL IT FASTER, RIGHT HAND, SO I CAN DROP PIPEBOMB". The guy is the worst. The worst part about him though, is that he comes out and acts like the best, but when you challenge him, he runs away like a little bitch. Like the biggest bitch you'll ever meet. He runs away, gets back on his short bus, and goes home. FTJ, The Dazzler wants to kick your ass.

    *Fan pop.*

    Dazzler: That's all he wants. One match. One single match. He doesn't care when. He just wants one shot. One shot to beat your ass so bad that The Dazzler will knock you out cold. Then you'll wake up in the hospital,you'll look around the room, and for the first will actually be able to complete a coherent sentence. One coherent sentence is all you will be able to speak before you go back into a coma, but be assured, the one sentence you will say will go something like this "Holy Crap. I just got my ass whipped!" Then you'll pass out in your hospital bed and the world will rejoice, thus ending world hunger, curing cancer, and creating world peace. So, FTJ, if you are a real man, you'll come down to this ring and accept this challenge.

    *The Dazzler waits impatiently for FTJ to come out.*

    @Emperor Lelouch Britannia
    • Like Like x 4
  2. Kousaki: I've not even had a match here yet, but I like this guy already. He's solid out there, and he hates FTJ. He reminds me of me.
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  3. @Emperor Lelouch Britannia

    If i'm not good enough or a big enough star to beat you, then why don't you face me? Easy win, right?
    • Like Like x 2
  4. This may be the one time Aiden Ryan approves of The Dazzlers obnoxious behavior.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Well, I can't say i'm surprised Gohan doesn't want to face me.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. *FTJ appears on titantron*

    • Like Like x 1
  7. The only way @Emperor Lelouch Britannia is gonna notice this is if you tag him in ever reply here on out. He'll come around sooner or later.