The Peep Show Debuts - Dat Kid #PEEPSHOW #NotThatYouSickBastards

Discussion in 'IWT Archives' started by CM Punk, Jan 28, 2014.

  1. The arena is set in decoration for The Peep Show.

    - Christian comes out to a new theme and to a loud pop
    - Christian walks down the ramp and into the ring

    Christian: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the first ever PEEP SHOW!

    - Crowd gives zero fucks

    Christian: This is an iconic moment in IWT, a setting ground and with new shows, we get new beginnings. So I said, "Hey, it'd be pretty cool if I had two themes" and so I did it! Shoutout to B.Dazzle. So, initially my guest WAS supposed to be the IWT Undisputed Champion, Aids Johnson

    - Crowd boos

    Christian: But... he is unable to make it. Sooo, we got the closest thing to Aids... A BLACK GUY!

    - Crowd is silent

    Christian: Get it? Cause...

    (Christian attempts to explain with no prevail)

    Christian: Whatever. So, without further ado, here is the man who proclaims himself as god, the man who got beat down on the chapel, he is the first ever BLACK IWT Champion, DAT KID!

    - Dat Kid comes out covered in bandages. He looks pissed off as the fans antagonize him for not winning the rumble. Kid ignores him and keeps his head high as he enters the ring.

    Dat Kid: Allow me to correct you. You wanted me for this show 1st, but I couldn't do it because I had important god business to attend to, you know, cause I'm the master of the universe and ruler of the world, but whatevs. Aids was your backup plan as he is for most things in the IWT, always taking my scraps.

    I brought you a gift Christian.

    - Dat Kid pulls out a Kidism bible from his back pocket and shoves it at Christian.

    Dat Kid: I want you to read that, so you can enlighten yourself and cleanse your mind of the filth and I know you're Canadian, so if that books too hard to read, I also have a few pop-up book versions in the trunk of my popemobile.

    Christian: This bible will enlighten me, eh?

    - Christian opens up the bible as a picture of Victoria Parker falls onto the mat

    - Dat Kid glances, quickly grabs the picture and shreds it into pieces

    Christian: Was that a picture of a naked women? Is that what I just saw? In a bible?! For shame...

    - Christian places the bible on a table

    Dat Kid: Look that picture wasn't for me, Christian. She took those nudes for Jesus!

    Now allow me guide you in the ways of Kidism. See, my religion is all about sacrifices that are made in my name. So what I want you to do right now is sacrifice your greatest prized possession, in the name of the one and only true god, me.

    - Dat Kid points to Christian's title belt
    - Christian has a confused look on his face

    Christian: Dude, thanks for the offer. But that's... not how I roll?

    Dat Kid: I don't give a damn about how you roll! That belongs to me and if you're not going to give it to me, I'm going to take. All of these small trinkets belong to God! Do not make me force my hand upon you.

    - Christian adjusts his World Heavyweight Championship so it covers his private area
    - Christian looks disgusted

    Christian: That's just wrong, man. I have a family! A beautiful wife and two adorable children waiting at home.

    Look! I know you're confused with my oh so manly presence before you and you've got a lot of feelings whirling around your head! I mean, yesterday you felt the taste of not one, but two men at the rumble and your head is telling you that you want more.
    And now I understand why you tore up that picture. It's because the look of a women sickens you. You've finally realized who you are...

    - Christian pats Dat Kid on his back

    Christian: You are Dat Kid... and you are gay.

    - Dat Kid grabs his bible and whacks it at Christian
    - Christian retaliates and starts beating down on Dat Kid

    - The Cure come out and start to beat down Christian for a good 30 seconds
    - The Cure go to Dat Kid's aid and help him get up

    - Dat Kid reaches for Christian's World Heavyweight Championship around his waist

    Announcer 1: WHAT IS HE DOING?

    - A television producer walks in the ring and tells Dat Kid he can't do that

    Dat Kid: I'M NOT GAY!

    - Dat Kid turns around and sees that Christian is gone
    - Christian backs up and starts walking at the ramp staring at Dat Kid
    - Dat Kid takes off his shoe and throws it at Christan

    Dat Kid
    : YO MOMMA!

    Christian: Ow! Crazy ass bitch!
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