Promos The Rise and Rise of GOLDEN-BALLS Ben Dover; The TRUE STORY

Discussion in 'IWT Archives' started by Ovaldinho, Oct 23, 2013.

  1. *Ben Dover is sat in his hotel room, sat on the edge of his bed, wearing nothing but his Tag Team Championship belt, which luckily covers his dick*

    Ben Dover: Why hello there, I am Ben Dover, despite the fact you know who I am, I will tell you who am I anyway, seeing as it's always such a fascinating and fun tale.

    At the age of 16. I left Secondary School, passing every single GCSE; Triple Science, Extended Mathematics, Politics, English Language and Literature, Welsh, Religious Studies and Physical Eduaction.

    Sixth Form College provided a similar story: I took GCE Politics, GCE Double PE and GCE English Language. I got A's in each of these subjects.. Actually I got a A* in PE.

    While my CV was probably starting to already look phenomenal and many Universities would have been more than pleased to enrol me..... I didn't feel mentally ready at the time. I had started to become quite involved with MMA, which consumed a lot of my time from the age of 17 all the way until I was 20. At the age of 20, I had been in a relationship with the "love of my life" since I was 16, having sex hundreds of times over this period.

    What would happen next would be a large blow for me; and I don't mean that in a sexual context... It had turned out that for the last 2 years, my girlfriend, who I currently refuse to name on the grounds it would cause outrage and privacy for this person, was having an affair with my MMA trainer. CAN YOU EVER UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THAT HURTS? TO BE MISUSED, ABUSED, RIDICULED, DISOWNED?? IT WAS FACKIN BULLSHIT!!

    I split up with her immediately, returning the favour by releasing her nudes throughout 4-Chan; that'll teach you, you fucking bitch! As for that idiotic trainer, let's say that we had a MMA match, in which he didn't know I knew, and I destroyed to the point he was hospitalised for half a month.

    After the relationship, I realised that I only had sex with 1 girl, and that there were so many other women in the World. Adding to that, I needed job. My parents had died, and somehow my cousin got their instead of me; FUCK THAT!! So I was no without a legitimate income. I still had £100k in the bank from MMA winnings and general savings, but I knew to sustain my luxurious lifestyle, I had to expand upon that £100k. I also still didn't want to go to University yet, and after the incident with the trainer, I felt disheartened from MMA.

    It was then, that the opportunity to get paid to fuck attractive women on a regular basis seemed to tempting to refuse, I thus became a PORNSTAR. Even from the start, my ravishing looks helped me start off at MOFOS, a decent Porn company, not to huge but would still pay nicely. My first couple of pornos got great reviews, enabling me to cash in on large bonuses. My first six months there alone earned me £300k. I worked there 2 years. At the start of 2012, Brazzer offered me a 2 year contract, with a £500k signing on bonus, I gladly accepted.

    It wasn't until November 2012 though, that I got into wrestling, A crazy southerner; not a redneck southener but one of those rich southerners which exploit the rednecks to make money; from MACHINIMA PALOOZA ENTERTAINMENT WRESTLING ALLIANCE offered me a contract. This was tough choice, considering how long it had been since I fought, I eventually decided it was time though, and I agreed to the contract, yet more money for Ben F'n Dover. In my debut, I went on to win the Tag Team Championships, oh how glorious that was. Guess what? My tag team were the only tag team to hold those championships, we were that good. I was so good that the leader of the stable I was in, kicked out my tag partner, for the reason that "I was well above his level". So they had the tag title stripped from him and given to someone else. I kept on going until the company was folded, due to financial issues.

    Fast forward to , March 2013, I apply for Bangor University; ACCEPTED!! I now regularly attend Uni lectures on top of being a wrestler.

    Fast forward again, to June 2013, and I'm here in IWT, as part of the Cure. We all made a statement, people doubted me because I was a pornstar, yet I've been undefeated up to now. You know Joey Bryant, that guy could only pick up a draw against me. That was on my debut, I'm now better than then.

    The evidence is there, I can succeed, I WILL SUCCEED.

    *Dover points to his championship*

    Dover: THIS IS MINE. THIS..... IS THE CURE'S!!!!!!!!

    *Dover goes to stand up, drop the belt from his crotch, but the camera cuts before his genitalia is shown on Live Television.
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  2. Cameras cutting off: The original cock blocks :downer:
  3. Great stuff Ovalhead. Marked for the MPEWA story. Especially the redneck haha. I remember that vividly.
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