Austin Aries >Chavo>Christy Hemme ≥ Fancy Prostitute

Discussion in 'TNA iMPACT! (2011-2015)' started by Dolph'sZiggler, May 18, 2013.

  1. [​IMG]

    Nah but really, this is going to be my Impact thread.

    I have semi-high expectations for the show since last week's installment was well received by most, myself included.

    Hogan opening brother


    Can't remember looking forward to Hulk this much since "Santa with Muscles" dropped back in 96. (Ignore the 2.1/10 star rating on IMDB. It is a 5 star classic, jack)

    Damn, gotta give it to Hulk. Even on part II of this double taping he has the crowd sucking his dick.

    Calling for Abyss. Hopefully we get Park instead.Abyss isn't coming, good. YES! Park. Called it, thank God.

    oh shit. I love the look in his eye when he said "I can't believe that he was here". He sells this shit so well.


    Nice exchange between Park and Devon. Both guys are on point IMO. While D'Lo is out here though he and Joseph Park should have a facial expression contest. Well, nah. Save that for a PPV. TNA might reach 6 figure buyrates with that blockbuster

    Devon really wants a chunk of Abyss' ass. I'm quite curious as to A.) How he would go about removing said chunk and B.) What Devon wants/plans to do with the chunk itself following removal
    Bobby Roode vs Chavo Guerrero

    Good vs Evil here. Roode has no business losing a singles match to Chavo, and I don't expect him to.

    btw did you guys know Eddie Guerrero was Chavo's uncle? IMO he had one of the greatest mullets of all time. Eddie's mullet >>> Chavo's life
    Show Spoiler


    Seriously though Roode needs to dominate this match. Chavo holding his own is unacceptable. Annnnnnnd early on Chavo is dominating....

    OK now Roode takes control. Three fucking amigos. Worst move in pro wrestling history. Scotty 2 Hotty has to turn away when he sees that shit. I would refuse to sell that move. Like "uh, no. I'm not going to get up with you in unison like a dumbass"

    Storm interference... well now that just felt pointless. We had a #1 contenders match last week that ended because the ref is a retard who kicked everyone in the face... so to settle that this week they do this singles match.. I'm sure they will get back to settling the dispute between Kaz/Daniels & Roode/Aries sooner or later, and hell, hopefully it is later so we can somehow get that match on the Slammy card, but that makes this Roode/Chavo match pointless filler. And bad filler at that. Storm's booking is so bad and this 5th wheel business trying to be everyone's enemy/AJ's bitter ex girlfriend isn't winning back any of his fans that are quickly losing interest in the Cowboy.

    Kurt Angle's Bullshit

    Doing his best John Cena impression it seems. KURT ANGLE DOESN'T BACK DOWN FROM A FIGHT!

    So that's official? Angle/AJ at Slammy?

    Show Spoiler

    sounds delightful

    Kurt playing the "I can't wait until the PPV to fight you" card. I think Cena/Angle might have gotten Freaky Friday'd. we'll know for certain if Cena's twitter gets hacked sometime in the near future. Or if he does a moonsault off the titantron to beat Ryback Sunday.

    wtf is Anderson doing here? I considered paying attention to him, but by the time I was done pondering Kurt was already laying into him.

    AJ drops Kurt like a bad habit with a kick right to the face and the non Taz/TEnay announcer calls it a cheap shot. Seemed clean enough to me. KO victory for Styles.

    Jay Bradley vs Christian York


    Gail Kim vs Velvet Sky

    TNA is giving Gail something to work with as far as this mean streak angle goes, but it's pretty obvious she is jobbing to Taryn at Slammy. Hope I'm wrong. Right, skipping this match though. Velvet matches are too hard for me to watch. She's like a slightly less retarded Kelly Kelly

    X Division Title Match


    Triple jobber entrances lmfao. Fuck you.

    Pulling for Sabin but certainly won't hurt my feelings to see King retain. King to Sabin "I'm going to punch you in the face". I'm not sure if revealing his gameplan is very wise, but I like his pzazz.


    For God's sake they've got to get rid of this ridiculous camera hat. It looks retarded, they only show the angle once/twice a match and the look is never good or of anything that matters. Ditch it

    For some reason, this match just didn't do it for me. The threeway format has already worn out it's welcome with me. Would much rather see Sabin/King one on one.

    Christopher Daniels vs Super Tex Mex


    If Bad Influence can make gangnam style cool, maybe Daniels can squeeze a good match out of one half of every Mexican TNA tag team ever.

    I think at this point the IWC would rather hear that their dog was hit by a bus than hear the Chavo/Hernandez theme playing.

    I'm starting to think instead of Kaz/Daniels vs Roode/Aries @ Slammy we are going to get another lame ass three team match.

    oh look, 'Air Mexico' haven't hammered this spot into the ground over the past few months. Dicks.

    lmfao. Advertising Dicks E's twitter on Impact. Fuck that bitch

    oh look it's Storm's drunk ass. go the fuck away you pos. Check into a clinic because you have a problem.

    fucking Herndanez going over CD. suck my balls TNA.

    a 4 way at Slammy? well I guess Cowboy had to force his way onto the Slammy card somehow. Pretty obvious King Mo will be his partner :harvey:

    D'Lo vs Joseph Park

    So it seems we'll get Park vs Devon at Slammy for the TV Title? Park winning the mid card belt at a major PPV could be a really nice moment IMO.

    No they fucking didn't just pitch Dicksy's twitter account for a second straight segment? BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS

    not sure when this bit will get old, but I still marked for it in this match


    D'Lo be getting his walkin papers real soon now doe

    Contract Signing

    That's right Jeremy Borash, get humbled.

    I know who you are. You're Bully Ray.

    Stipulation negotiation time. Hopefully it's something good, because this match will need it.

    ATTN: @Hoke Ogan fuck off. No need for his ass to get another entrance.

    Solid mic work from Sting, but it doesn't make me any less reluctant to see him in that ME. No Holds Barred? Bleh. So ordinary.


    That's pretty boss. Good decision by TNA. inb4Stingwins

    lmao, it just ends with them trading blows like rock em sock em robots. alrighty then

    Decent show I suppose. A lot of wrestling, which is to be expected on the back end of the b2b tapings. Wondering if No Aries was some sort of punishment for the BS, as his presence was missed.

    Also a severe lack of Roode (short match, no promo time) and BI (only a short backstage segment and the match with Peanut Butter & Steroids sandwich)

    I'll give it a 5/10. Pretty average
    • Like Like x 3
  2. Fuck you for not watching Bradley vs. York. That is all.

    Otherwise, it was a cool review to read, though!:ricardo:
    • Like Like x 1
  3. What reason should I have for giving a fuck about that match?
  4. Not your best, not your worst.
  5. It was late. I wanted to give up towards the end but I battled through to get the thread up. I might not have even posted it if it weren't for the strong start with the thread title and the Roode/Aries gif. oh well. Nothing about this episode really gave me much material to work with. I don't want to bitch about too much wrestling, but there wasn't much in the way of mic segments or anything like that. Instead they worked in a TON of pre-record backstage stuff and had a ton of matches.
  6. Great review brother, the picture of Angle's bullshit isn't working
  7. Cute title, lol. Love the Eddie pic!
  8. Loved the review and I take back completely what I said during the Live Discussion when I said I liked Chavo's theme. I'm really not sure what I was listening to.
  9. Not so much the music itself as it is what it represents (we are about to watch a Chavo or Hernandez match)
  10. I was totally gonna do what you asked and not like this one, but with dat pic of Eddie's mullet in there you've forced my hand.
  11. I spent the time wasted on his entrance searching for a sweet mullet pic.

    IMO Chavo should stop beating around the bush and just wrestle in an Eddie Guerrero mask. It's not that far of a stretch since his entire career is based on being related to him.
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Well why should you give a fuck about Hernandez vs. Daniels or Roode vs. Chavo too? We KNEW nothing overly interesting will happen in both of those matches, they aren't contenders matches either, and you still watched them.

    With Bradley vs. York, it's a bit more interesting. The winner is fighting for a spot in the BFG Series, the series that could change their careers + Bradley is always fun to watch, and York is decent.

    But yeah, you probably hate every gutcheck guy except Joey Ryan, so why am I even bothering, right? Just seems wierd to me.
  13. I do hate every gutcheck guy besides Joey Ryan, and I hate the concept. York is a fucking bore and Bradley doesn't do it for me. Why should I want to watch Daniels or Roode in action? gee wiz man, no clue :silva:
  14. So it is because they're Gutcheck guys. That's..... that's.... BRILLIANT!

    Bradley > York > Hernandez > Chavo. That's why.
  15. No. It's not because they are gutcheck guys. It's because I find all of the gutcheck guys boring. I don't hate them because they are from gutcheck. I just hate them because they suck
  16. Fair enough, and I'll compromise on SIlva, Shaw and York for the sake of it (even though they don't suck), but man you're wrong with Bradley. The best indy signing by far for TNA since Aries.
  17. I agree with D'Z on York, he's just a typical X Division filler guy IMO but Bradley does have something about him. That lariat he hit was pretty sweet IMO.
  18. Hey brother I hope you are right but up to this point be hasn't drawn me in.
  19. Skimmed before reading. You didnt make the live discussion thread (-1) didnt watch the x divison match (-1) and my opinion is > yours so (-17)

    Sorry R-double, i cant be bothered to read this trash. You're welcome for posting though. *so used to #YOURWELCOME to joke on randy, cant even type correctly anymore.
  20. I did watch the x division match you illiterate retard
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