*The Amazing H’s music hits and he bursts through the curtain and onto the stage with a microphone in hand. Some who recognise him begin to cheer, along with others who take a shine to the face painted loon with the smiling face. He prances down to the ring, slapping hands as he does so. He enters the ring and waves to the audience as his music dies down.*
The Amazing H: Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, my name is The Amazing H!
*A few people cheer.*
The Amazing H: I was told that I should come out here and introduce myself, but honestly... I don’t really want to do that. That’s boring. Nobody wants to hear me talk about myself. If you wanted to know what I’m like, just try and find my Tinder profile, it’s got everything on there... But, since I’ve been told to do this I guess I should give you a quick rundown anyway. So, I’m a face paint enthusiast, I enjoy long walks on the beach, the convenience of self-checkout and, oh yeah, breaking peoples legs.
*H pauses as some people cheer.*
The Amazing H: Why thank you, you must be as disturbing as me. You see, whereas more traditional wrestlers have a game plan that is secretive, I’ll tell you straight up that I’m going after your legs. Whether you’re a big guy, small guy, it doesn’t really matter, I don’t discriminate. Everyone is welcome to have their legs taken apart. My legs on the other hand, well, they’re weapons. They’re like two steel bars. I will knee you, I will kick you... Hell, I’ll stick my toes down your throat. My legs are my pillars of success. My arms however... Well...
*H swings his arms around.*
The Amazing H: I don’t really know what to do with them. I’m not much of a puncher. Kicking is my game, and it’s a game I’ll win.
*More cheers are heard around the arena.*
The Amazing H: This week I step into the ring in my debut match against a guy named Ty Creed. I don’t know who he is, I haven’t met the guy but I’m looking forward to getting acquainted with him. I’m gunna break his legs, knock him out and advance forward in this World Heavyweight Championship tournament that I’m a part of. So yes, that’s me in a nutshell. You’ll meet the real me this Saturday on the first ever Exodus. I’ll see you then.
*H’s music hits again. He waves at the audience and makes his way back up the ramp and backstage.*