Kayfabe Canteen Worker H

Discussion in 'WWE 2K16 League Archive: Xbox One' started by SupaHeeroh, Apr 26, 2016.

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  1. *Thomas Drago, Exodus’ resident interviewer walks into the dining area of the arena. He spots The Amazing H serving food to crew members. He’s wearing an apron, a hair net and plastic gloves as well as his signature face paint. Thomas walks up to H.*
    Thomas Drago: Uhh... The Amazing H?
    The Amazing H: Ah ah, no no... I’m Canteen Worker H.
    Thomas Drago: What?
    Canteen Worker H: That’s my job and my name. Happy coincidence really.
    Thomas Drago: I don’t think I follow... You are The Amazing H, right?
    *H sighs.*
    Canteen Worker H: I am Amazing and my name is H.
    Thomas Drago: Right..?
    Canteen Worker H: Not to be confused with H from Steps, that happens a lot. And don’t start adding extra H’s too... Add one too many and we could have a lawsuit on our hands.
    *Thomas Drago stands still, mouth open trying to piece together what is happening.*
    Canteen Worker H: Unless you are ordering food, I would suggest you get moving, we’re beginning to get a bit of a queue here.
    *H points at the line behind Thomas. One old man with a tray is standing behind him.*
    Thomas Drago: I’m sorry but I have to ask, what are your thoughts on the match you had this weekend against Ty Creed?
    Canteen Worker H: A match?! Oh no, I don’t wrestle. I did however watch it. Ty Creed came out looking too cocky for his own good then that handsome guy came out next to fight him.
    Thomas Drago: What did you think of the match?
    Canteen Worker H: I’m not too sure. If I was The Amazing H I would be a little disappointed.
    Thomas Drago: Why is that?
    Canteen Worker H: Well for starters, it didn’t seem like we got to see too much of him. I mean yeah, he targeted Creed’s legs for some of the match, but it didn’t seem like The Amazing H was going at him at 100%. He seemed a little off, as if he wasn’t in control of what he was doing, you know?
    Thomas Drago: But he still picked up the win.
    Canteen Worker H: I guess so. That’s the important thing, but I still feel like he was holding back. I think this week will be the week that we actually see The Amazing H “perform”.
    Thomas Drago: I see. Well this week is a second round match up. The Amazing H will take on King Votan, a man who didn’t even need to fight to get through to the second round.
    Canteen Worker H: You seem to be asking me a lot of questions. Do other canteen workers usually get interviewed? I thought it was just the wrestlers?
    Thomas Drago: Well, no. But you’re...
    Canteen Worker H: Oh look, isn’t that The Amazing H over there?
    *The camera pans to the other side of the room, no-one is there. It pans back and Canteen Worker H is nowhere to be seen.*
    Thomas Drago: Where did he go?
    *The Amazing H walks through the dining area doors in full wrestling gear and walks over to Thomas. As he reaches the old man standing behind Thomas he takes his tray from him.*
    The Amazing H: Why thank you! I think you’re in the wrong place sir. Senior bingo is next door. This is a wrestling arena. Watch out for Señor Bingo though, call his name out too many times and he’ll crush you... How’s it going Thomas? Service seems terrible today...
    *H peaks over the counter but no-one is there.*
    Thomas Drago: How did you do that?!
    The Amazing H: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
    Thomas Drago: I was just talking to you and then...
    The Amazing H: Me? I don’t think so. I’ve heard there’s a new canteen guy though. What’s his name again...Uh...
    Thomas Drago: Canteen Worker H?
    The Amazing H: Ah yeah! That’s him. Sounds like a nice guy. I should talk to him some time...
    Thomas Drago: Whilst you’re here, could I ask you a question about...
    The Amazing H: My opponent this week who didn’t even need to fight to get through to the second round of the World Heavyweight Championship tournament? Sure, go ahead.
    Thomas Drago: ... Yes... Thoughts?
    The Amazing H: Last weekend against Ty Creed was just a warm up. I wasn’t feeling it too much honestly. But this week against King Votan... He’s going to feel it.
    Thomas Drago: Feel what?
    The Amazing H: He’s going to feel his royal legs snap.
    Thomas Drago: I don’t think he’s real royalty.
    The Amazing H: Of course he is! It’s in his name.
    Thomas Drago: Not all names are truthful to who the person is, I would say your name is a prime example of this.
    The Amazing H: Ah, you got me there, Thomas. “The” is my stage name. And then H is initialised, so you’ve got a point.
    Thomas Drago: I was talking more about “Amazing”.
    The Amazing H: What about it? Are you making fun of my name, Thomas? My parents decided to name me as they seen me. They see me as Amazing and named me as such. It isn’t a persona. Don’t be so disrespectful.
    Thomas Drago: Oh, I’m sorry.
    The Amazing H: No, you’re Thomas, I’m Amazing... And King Votan... He’s my next victim... Ciao for now.
    *H begins to hum as he walks away from Thomas and out of the dining area. The screen fades to black.*
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