*CONTAINS SPOILERS* Raw Review 03/25/13

Discussion in 'RAW' started by PSachkovsky, Mar 26, 2013.

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  1. The show begins with CM Punk and Paul Heyman playing catch with the urn, and CM Punk tries to mimic a football pose while he's at it. Me and Punk for some reason have the same looking shoes, well, at least I have something that is VERY similar to what Punk is wearing. CM Punk talks about 'them', obviously he talks about the crowd.

    CM Punk talks about how is opinion is the only one that matters. He talks about The Undertaker's WrestleMania streak, and saying that it should have ended with Triple H/Shawn Michaels/Undertaker at the End of an Era match. CM Punk says that he isn't afraid of the dark, much like most of Undertaker's opponents in the past. It became such a cliche to say that.

    CM Punk says that the urn means everything to The Undertaker, and that it doesn't mean a damn to him, just like Taker's streak. He says that he will break it, and now he possesses the urn that Undertaker wants. Punk says that he is in a disadvantage, and once again goes on putting himself over, saying that there is no one that is going to beat him at WrestleMania. Punk says he is waiting for the magic words of 'rest in peace', and tells the Deadman, that he and the perfect record will rest in peace.

    Undertaker's gong all of a sudden. Undertaker appears in the ring, and attacks CM Punk. Paul Heyman picks the urn from the ground and runs away. So does CM Punk. Paul Heyman ran to the backstage, just to get back and give the urn to CM Punk. CM Punk plays with the urn in front of Taker, who gives him the cut throat sign.

    A great segment to begin the show. Right after that we have a promo for Fandango. How do you go from that segment, to that promo with such an ease? It just baffles me.

    Fandango dances with his lovely dancer, who is a nice fuck buddy. Gotta say I don't really know what to say about it. Nice split by the female dancer, she sure knows how to ride a c... how to sit on the c... whatever...

    Fandango takes the mic just to say 'FAAAAHN DAAHN', and he gets interrupted by Chris Jericho. Jericho runs into the ring, and attacks him quickly. Retaliation for last week. Fandango frustrated outside the ring, shouting 'WHAT'S MY NAME?!'

    And here comes Dolph Ziggler, and with him as usual the sexy AJ Lee, and the big no brainsky Big E. Langston. He enters the ring, and Jericho is still there. I am trying to understand why is suddenly this match is agreed (wasn't Fandango supposed to face someone else???).


    Great match by the two. Again, this two, especially Dolph Ziggler put a wrestling clinic. Jericho gets him locked in the Walls of Jericho, and gets the victory (which serves no purpose to Dolph Ziggler), and than he gets attacked by Big E. Langston.


    Fandango comes in after that attack and attacks Chris Jericho. He screams at Jericho 'SAY MY NAME', 'WHAT'S MY NAME'. Lol, crowd chanting you can't wrestle at Fandango. Which is funny, because we didn't even see him wrestle yet. Fandango gives a diving leg drop, which is obviously his finishing move (Matt Hardy must be proud). He grabs the microphone and basically says: 'FAAHN-DAAHN-GOOOH'.

    We go back to Sheamus and Matt Striker (I miss the guy on commentary), and we than see the recap from SmackDown, where Big Show and Sheamus arguing like little children. And Randy Orton tries to make this two children work together. Matt Striker asks Sheamus about last night. Sheamus starts mumbling something, and gets attacked by The Shield. Man, I love The Shield. But Randy Orton tries to save him with a chair, but nothing helps him. Big Show than shows up and pushes all The Shield members away from the other two. Big Show turning face every two months is starting to annoy the shit out of me.


    The Usos try to use their tag team advantage against Mark Henry. Nice tag team moves, but Henry doesn't want to quit. Mark Henry basically squashed them. Pretty much an entertaining little match, to put Mark Henry over until Mania.


    Ricardo Rodriguez comes to the ring using crotches. He is introducing Alberto Del Rio. Antonio Cesaro shows that he doesn't have time to wait for Ricardo Rodriguez to get to ringside.


    Great match, didn't like the count our finish. Jack Swagger went to attack Ricardo Rodriguez, trying to break his leg. Alberto Del Rio attacks Swagger, not noticing that the referee counted him out. Antonio Cesaro wins by a count-out.



    Entertaining tag team match, one of the best matches of the night. Dolph Ziggler stands with his crew and Kane and Bryan challenge them to get in the ring.


    Triple H comes to the ring, apparently he wants to talk about how this WrestleMania can be his final match. Is this the end of the game? Well, let's see what Paul Levesue has to say. Michael Cole keeps talking about the history of The Game and said 'the evolution of Evolution'. Cool story, bro.

    Triple H says that in the first time in his career he gets into a situation of losing and not being allowed to wrestle anymore. Triple H puts over Brock Lesnar, but he also says that he himself has a 20 year career going into the ring like his life has depended on it. He says that Paul Heyman is mistaken for thinking that Triple H has the back against the wall. And tells Brock Lesnar that his career is on the line. Triple H says he will come to the ring, to kick Brock Lesnar's ass. Pretty much same shit we heard for the last few weeks now. Wade Barrett interrupts Triple H's walkout. Barrett motions him to buzz off, and Triple H just smiles and gives him a kick to the balls. Very 'Cerebral Assassin' like.

    After the commercial break we see Wade Barrett recover from the kick he got from Triple H. While we see the entrance of the must not see champion, The Miz.


    Gotta admit, Barrett improved so much in his in-ring work. His matches became 10 times better since 2010. The Miz locks Wade Barrett in the figure four leglock for the win. Ric Flair is so proud of you, Miz.


    We see Daniel Bryan and Kane backstage. The two get into an argument. Daniel Bryan says that Kane start to argue who didn't get over AJ Lee. Kaitlyn tells that there is a new AJ Lee, and advices everyone to get over her. She gets attack by AJ, after calling her crazy.

    Great Khali, Justin Gabriel and Zack Ryder vs. The Shield

    Why is Great Khali in this match, is beyond me. An alright match, not the best, but it served it's purpose.


    The Shield gets the win, and Khali goes after them and gets attacked. They powerbomb Great Khali. Sheamus shows up in the entrance way, and Randy Orton comes right after him. Both of them walk toward the ring. And behind The Shield comes out the Big Show. The Shield gets attacked by all three of them. The Shield retreat once again, and the crowd cheers all three heroes in the ring.

    After the commercial break Jericho gets interviewed, and the subject is Fandango's attack on him. Chris Jericho says that at WrestleMania it's going to be Fandango vs. Jericho (My wish came true!!!).


    Seeing two fat men dancing, is just 'ew'. Team Rhodes Scholars get the win, but in a very, VERY pointless match.



    Squash match, 'nuff said.


    WWE keeps showing recap of the show, I mean, God damn, do they think that the crowd has 3 second memory or something???


    Lame women's match, AJ Lee sucks in the ring. I'd prefer seeing a porn video where she sucks something else. Kaitlyn runs into the barricade, and gets counted out.


    Jerry Lawler gets into the ring, to say that the WWE Championship match between The Rock and John Cena will be historical (just like last year, right? 'Historical' my nutsack). Booker T is the first legend to come to the ring, and Jerry Lawler doesn't forget to tell the crowd about his future induction before WrestleMania. Well, here comes Mick Foley (because he's good friend of The Rock). Dusty Rhodes???? 'Dream is in the house'? Michael Cole, shut the fuck up.

    And the first to come to the ring, is The Great One, The Brahma Bull... Oh, scratch that... It's just Dwayne Johnson. Right before him comes the chain gang wannabe leader, John Cena. Mick Foley is the first legend to speak to both wrestlers. He talks about facing The Rock, and tells John Cena that he felt a lot of ease, when The Rock defeated him. He asks John Cena if he is prepared to live with yet another regret, that will come after losing yet another WrestleMania? John Cena says that there is no mistaking that it will be an historic day for the WWE. If he wins he gets satisfaction, and he gets the WWE Championship, and most important redemption.

    Cena says that losing isn't an option, and than The Rock defeated him last year. Now he realizes that losing is an option. Cena talks about Donovan McKnout (or whatever his name is), he mentions because that man wasn't able to win the big one. He says that Philadelphia desrves to have someone that can win the big one. At this point I'm starting to think that I am listening to an election speech. Cena says that statistically he is good, but he will never win the big one. Cena says that Dwayne Johnson knows nothing more about failure.

    The crowd chants 'Rocky', as soon as he approaches the microphone. The Rock tells Cena, that when he was 23 years old. He got his big break in the WWE, and he got injured, and told him that he showed go home. He worked his ass off to came back to the WWE, and he said 'just give me a mic', and two years later he became the youngest WWE Champion. And he says his usual 'finally'. The Rock came back to WrestleMania and got his ass kicked by Stone Cold. The Rock promised to himself to work harder after that match, and those failures let him become the man he is today. And he also said that the man he became will whip Cena's ass.

    Bret Hart keeps reminding us about the Shawn Michaels/Bret Hart kind of thing. Man, fuck you. Do you have to remind this shit over and over again?

    The Rock says that he beat Cena 1-2-3, and that Cena didn't bitch and didn't moan, and that he respects that. Cena says that he called out The Rock years ago in an interview, and that he came to WrestleMania and wins. John Cena thought that The Rock won't come back to the WWE after WrestleMania, but he was wrong. He says that he respects The Rock, and in thirty days he wants to see how The Rock will handle his.

    Booker T takes his time to speak. He says that obviously he is the only one from the panel who wrestled both Cena and Rock. Booker T simply asks Cena, why is he going to beat The Rock at WrestleMania?

    Cena responds in a 'because I have to'. I am seriously starting to see a heel mannerisms in Cena now. The Rock attacks Cena verbally, about that 'because I have to'. The Rock tells Cena to tell the truth. John Cena said that The Rock didn't beat him, but he lost because of himself. He says that he will not make anymore mistakes, and he will defeat The Rock. Because he knows he is better than The Rock, and he knows that even The Rock knows that he is better than The Rock.

    The Rock simply takes a catchphrase from Ric Flair, and says that 'to be the man, you gotta beat the man'. And he says that John Cena isn't the man, and will never be the man.

    Dusty Rhodes says that WrestleMania is about winning and losing. Sometimes you don't get what you want, and sometimes someone like Dusty Rhodes has no idea what he is talking about. He asks both of them a question 'what do you want'?

    John Cena says that he wants to win the big one, and that he wants to dominate The Rock. He says that The Rock will realize that he is better than The Rock. He wants to do to The Rock, what he did to him. The Rock says that he isn't going to be haunted for the rest of his life. The Rock says that he will remain the WWE champion, and that Cena will wake up to a fruity pebbles. And The Rock says: 'How about you prove me wrong right now?'

    Cena takes off his shirt, and Jerry Lawler tries to calm both men. John Cena comes face to face with The Rock, and gets hit with a Rock Bottom, yet again. John Cena just lays there like a bitch, and The Rock basically sent another massage to Cena.

    I am telling you right now, there is a huge chance that Cena is turning heel at WrestleMania, or even prior to that.
  2. Cena's not turning heel bro.
  3. Yeah, it's a shame, I mean he's got what 3 more shows to do it? they probably would have either done it last night or a few weeks back.
  4. How do you know that he might not turn heel and use The Shield's help to defeat The Rock at WrestleMania?
  5. It'd be a weird angle, seeing as they attacked him and they're trying to work a redemption angle. I'm pretty sure he'll beat Rocky clean at Mania.
  6. Even if the Shield helps Cena at Mania it will just become an OMG DID JOHN CENA HIRE THE SHIELD thing and it will turn out he didn't, they acted alone and then Cena will bury the Shield.

    no heel turn
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Pretty much this and Physically it's not as if Cena is like Punk and Skinny, he's around the same Size as the Rock, so hiring others would just seem pointless.
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