Kayfabe MASTER INTERVIEWS: S2 EPISODE 1 (Master of Steel))


The Reagmaster

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The video starts with The Reagmaster standing infront of a improved set which is like the picture above but the wallpaper is pictures of Reagmaster winning his preshow matches and talking about Reagmaster, he's just lying down on a massive black couch like a twat. He is not obviously impressed with the cameraman


Reagmaster: Okay, are you good now? Come on! Anarchy Inc gave me you and all you do is stare blankly at the stupid thing, I could do it better myself

Dumb Cameraman: Yes.

Reagmaster: And further more, is that all you can say?! Yes? Cole has literally gave me a stupid yesman. Wait...Am I the most handsome person ever?

The dumb cameraman just replies with utter silence which just shut downs Reagmaster's confidence

Reagmaster: Wow....Fuck you man. Anyway is this shit on? Is the red light blinking?

Dumb Cameraman:
Yes.

Reagmaster: Okay...Ladies and Gentleman my name is not The Reagmaster. Wait it is, actually. I just realized, Ryan's not even here, instead the weird butler is in charge isn't he?

Dumb Cameraman: Yes.

Reagmaster: So technically, I just have to go against stereotypes and hope that not all old men are racists. Yay, I guess. Anyway let's do it again, Ladies and Gentleman my name is The Reagmaster! It feels really good to say that! If you're wondering why I took so long to return to the league, it's for a couple of reasons. One, Jack Rogue super kicked me, an innocent bystander in the face and it hurt so I had to take some time off to heal. Two, I have just been told two days ago that this season earlier than normal so my question is what the fuck guys!? Anyway since I couldn't be assed getting new guests, I got the exact same one that I did last year. Anyway it's Joseph and Alexander Aluminum! How are you assholes?

Joseph Diamond: It's not alumin--

Alexander Diamond: It's an honor for you to have us on the show, Reag.

Reagmaster looks confused at the two, more specifically at Joey Diamond as he realizes the change in the man since the last interview

Reagmaster: Okay....So first question, who da fuck are you?

Reagmaster points directly at Alexander Diamond

Reagmaster: I have no idea, who da fuck you are so I'm curious.

Alexander Diamond: it's a fair question, it is. I'm Alexander Diamond, and to Joseph, I'm his brother, life coach and wisdom giver. That answer your question?

Reagmaster looks at Alex in disbelief, before laughing out loud at the pair so much that he normally falls off the couch

Reagmaster: Joey....You never..You never told me your brother was such a loser! This is amazing!

Joseph: Well, there's a reason we don't talk much...he's kind of a square, all things considered.

Alexander: That may be true, but remember that this square is the only reason you aren't still balled up on the floor in a pool of your own tea-

Joseph: Well that's quite enough of that, next question, Reag. Please.

Reagmaster: To be fair, I'm quite happy listening to the rest of that story if you don't mind. Alexander.

Alexander: Well, it's actually one of my favorites. You remember Wrestle Dynasty, right? Well, for about two or so weeks after he LOST to Jack Rogue in that match, he never left the mansion, he was inside, in fact, his wife told me he hadn't left his room. And this is when I got worried, so, like the good brother I am I flew down to Vancouver, only to find this GROWN MAN, huddled up on the floor in the feeble position. This was actually the sparking event that resulted in me being here, how that happened I'll save for another time.

Joseph stares directly ahead, trying to hold back tears, but not doing a very good job.

Reagmaster: No...No way, wow. You know what? I have a feeling that I'm going to like you, I've never seen Diamond this....emotional before. Anyway next question, I guess.

Joseph: ........please.

Reagmaster smirks at the new control that he now possesses

Reagmaster: So you, Joey have a very crucial match this week on Precision against "The big guy" Danny Jacobs. Do you believe that you have the abilites equipped to take down the guy who was never defeated on PPV?

Joseph: Well this isn't a PPV, is it?

Reagmaster: I mean...I hardly keep track of this shit anymore, Precision could be a ppv now for all I know!

Alexander: It isn't. It's the weekly show, do you not research this stuff?

Reagmaster: Nope. Why would I waste my time doing that? The best interviewers already have the perfect questions before the guest is even announced.

Alexander: Well, I'm not Joseph (far too handsome for that, but I digress), I'm more than confident he'll be able to beat Danny Jacobs if he stays focused. But that's a pretty big if with him.

Reagmaster: Do you think that you will be able to stay focused, Joey?

Joseph: I'm sorry, what was the question?

Reagmaster:.....I think you just answered the question by not knowing the question, if that makes sense somehow.

Alexander: As I was saying, I don't like his chances. He's been debating all week on which championship he's going after, he even bought a white board and made a venn diagram to decide which was better for him. He's really excited for TLC, but I don't think he even remembers he has a match he needs to win first.

Reagmaster: Personally I think you should go for Rogue if you do win the match but I don't really care anyway next one. Now let's talk about last week. You lost to Rhys Haze.

Joseph: I did lose to Rhys Haze, thank you for reminding me, I almost forgot.

Reagmaster: You are very welcome, Joey.

Joseph: Only my wife and my father can call me Joey, and you are neither of those, so I suggest you st-

Reagmaster: I mean...This could be a Star Wars moment.

Alexander: Mellow out, Joey, he's only doing his job.

Reagmaster: Yes...my job. Totally. Anyw-

Alexander: But last week was really rough for Joey, he was so up in his head about his match with Danny Jacobs this week he totally forgot he needed to face Jack Frost as well, which is why he lost.

Reagmaster: Ha, Jack Frost..I'm using that for later for sure.

Alexander: But this is really an adjustment period for the Diamonds, with me coming in and Joseph shaving his beard, him winning a championship at TLC would be spectacular, our father sent me here so I could help Joe win a championship, but this is all about the journey for us right now, trying to get the people to rally behind Joseph after he kind of burned that bridge with them last year.

Reagmaster: I will definitley agree with you about that part, he did hate the fans for what seemed to be no real reason but now it's slightly clear that he was going through some mental breakdowns, I would call them.

Joseph: That isn't true in the slightest, I never hated the fans, they hated me, theres a dfference. And I have no mental issues to speak o-

Alexander: What ab-

Joseph: Shut up Alex, I never had a real problem with the people of Precision, it was just easier to get to the top without them getting in my way.

Reagmaster: I see...Well talking about the fans, I do have some questions from them if you don't mind.

Joseph: I do mind, act-

Alexander: No, it's no bother, ask away.

Reagmaster looks conflicted but his expression just goes fuck it and he starts reading the question

Reagmaster: Okay, first question from @Masonsbitch99. Why do you suck s- Okay who put this question in here?! Was that you?

Reagmaster stares at the cameraman as he just gives the simple answer

Dumb Cameraman: yes.

Reagmaster sighs as he skips that question to try and skip the conflict

Reagmaster: Yea, let's not talk about that one...

Alexander:
so....any other questions from anyone else?

Reagmaster: Yep! like this one from @Schoolanimal Diamond, how do you feel about your strong following in the gay community?

Joseph Diamond just stares at The Reagmaster with a face that is not amused as Alexander just looks uncomfortable and so does Reagmaster for asking that question.

Reagmaster: Should we just skip to the next question?

Alexander: Probably the best option.

Reagmaster: Okay....@DiamondsBeard asked Joey, is it possible that you will let your beard return at a later point?

Joseph: Um, I'm not going to make like a conscious decision or anything, I may just stop shaving one day and see where that goes, if that answers your question.

Reagmaster: Probably, I'm not sure. I'll go to the next question and this one is for Alexander, surprisingly. It's from @BillyBronny And it relates to the last time that I interviewed Joey, Do you know who Bill Bronson is?

Joseph: He's the reason I lost my Intercontinental Championship, of course I know who he is.

Reagmaster: The question was aimed at Alex, Joey. Don't worry about it, also I'm slightly glad that you have said that now but that's offtopic.

Alexander: Huh, well, yeah, I know who Bronson is, but not personally or anything.

Reagmaster: I'll be honest... You probably don't want to know Bronson personally. Well to end off, let's do some word association shall we? I say a word, you both say whatever comes into your head.

Joseph: Alright, let's get this over with.

Reagmaster: Okay, Jack Rogue.

Joseph: Thieving bastard.

Alexander: Dangerous.

Reagmaster: Will Neilson.

Joseph: Irrelevant.

Alexander: Irrelevant.

Reagmaster: The late Robert Blake.

Joseph: ....no comment.

Alexander: um, lovely, I guess? I don't have much to say about him

Reagmaster: Interesting. Let's go with the guy who recently had a little twitter fight with you, Joey. Reagan Cole.

Joseph: Who?

Alexander: He's alright, I guess

Reagmaster: The guy who owns the fight club, Joey? That one?

Joey: Drawing a blank, sorry.

Reagmaster:...Okay then, Rhys Haze.

Joey: Jack

Alexander: Frost

Reagmaster: Nice co-ordination there...And finally Danny Jacobs

Joey: Misguided

Alexander: Overlooked.

Reagmaster: Overlooked? Isn't he like the IWT champ?

Alexander: Overlooked by my brother, who thinks he can just not pay any attention to him and expect to beat him no problem.

Reagmaster: Ah, that makes more sense now. And I lied before, this is the final one. Andersen Vega.

Joseph: Look, Andersen Vega isn't world championship material. hell, he's not Intercontinental Championship material, he can't hang with me and neither can his former zombie friend Jack Rogue.

Alexander: Honestly? Scum of the earth. Can't stand the guy

Reagmaster: Hell yeah to that, He's the reason I got superkicked in the face. But that's still offtopic because I'm really bad at this. Thank you to both of you for coming onto the show even though the higher ups pretty much forced you on. That's all I got in the tank, don't forget to like, subscribe and comment down below shit about hitting things and emotional stuff about loving me. You weird people, I'm The Reagmaster and you are all disasters! And we're done! Just shut it down? Do you know how to shut it down?

Dumb Cameraman: yes.

Reagmaster:
You don't do you? Jeez, seriously?

Reagmaster walks up to the camera and the feed cuts out