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The Reagmaster

Future Vice President of WWEF
First off why does Jacob have to do the rate titles the American way when I'm British....Come on, man. I have to reverse my own date here. Anyway rate this episode of RAW or a cat dies. Not kidding. I'm ready to kill some cats. Also discuss stuff about it.

That guy who's going nowhere after this rivalry segment
Enzo kicks off the show to a huge pop from the crowd and chants of Enzo when he gets in the ring. He talks about Big Cass turning on him after he has been beat up by everyone else over the past year in hotel rooms and backstage and he talks about Cass killing the part of him that trusts other people and says all eyes are on him now. oooooooooooooooooooooh.

We see Cass watching from backstage and Charly walks up and asks for a reaction. He says Enzo talks without actually saying anything and he won't be walking after Sunday. While Cass is talking, Enzo comes out of nowhere and jumps him from behind. It takes several people to break them up. Enzo just made this the most interesting storyline on Raw, Damn. I'm more hyped for a Enzo & Cass feud than any of the feuds of SD Live at the minute. Think about that for a second

Feel like this isn't the first time this match has happened. Grievous gonna be pissed.
During the tag match between Nia Jax & Bliss vs Bayley and Sasha Banks, Nia Jax drives Bayley off the apron into the barricade and follows up with a running knee but even though it was kind of a handicap match. Sasha Banks makes Alexa Bliss tap out to the bank statement. Their booking of Bayley confuses me. MAKE HER A UNDERDOG! WHY NOT HAVE BAYLEY COME BACK FROM THAT?! HUH?!

A recap of their feud aired between quotes from the two warriors. The Destroyer talked about what he envisioned as his destiny. Lesnar said he was ready to kicks Joe's ass. FIGHTING TALK. The champion and challenger later sat in on a live split-screen interview together where Joe ripped off his earpiece and went hunting after Lesnar. Security swarmed him before he could find the champ

Who are this little people who you call "cruiserweights"?
Alicia Fox returned. That's all you really need to know about this bit. But if you insist,
Cedric Alexander demanded Noam Dar come out and end this feud. Alicia Fox accompanied Dar who found himself in trouble in the early going. Fox had to get in Alexander's way to slow him down. It didn't matter. At all. Alexander hit the Lumbar Check for the three-count.

A another feud I actually like! And this time with Heath Slater thrown in!
With The Miztourage and Maryse at his side, The Miz angrily recalled his interview with Lonzo and LaVar Ball last week. He called LaVar a madman and Lonzo a bust. He deftly shifted to tearing down Dean Ambrose, claiming he caved under the pressure. Ambrose emerged, cracking jokes before threatening the intercontinental champ.

Heath Slater stepped out to express his desire to challenge The Miz. Raw general manager Kurt Angle announced that The Miz would face both Ambrose at Sunday's PPV, but would take on Slater later on Raw. I mean WWE wants moments. I think Slater winning the IC title would be a pretty good moment if you ask me....MAKE ALL OF THE 3MB CHAMPIONS DAMMIT.

MIZ VS SLATER! OPPOSITES CLASH! Also why has the Social Outcasts stable been brushed under the rug?
Ambrose sat in on commentary as Slater challenged for the title. I always enjoy Ambrose on commentary so even though I never saw it. It sounds enjoyable. The Miz struggled with Slater as the challenger outwrestled him early on. Slater flipped The Miz's shirt over his head and pounded him with right hands. The A-Lister recovered and slowed down the bout as his cronies loomed.

When it looked like Slater might get the win, he became distracted by The Miztourage beating up Rhyno at ringside. That allowed The Miz to get a cheap win and take a pounding from Axel and Dallas. WHY HEATH WHY?! Ambrose leaped into the fray only to take a beating of his own. And Axel & Bo are confirmed to be RAW's answer to SD's Singh Brothers!

Goldust welcomed fans to watch his "masterpiece" The Shattered Truth. He trashed R-Truth while playing up his own greatness. A short film aired that showed clips of Goldust thrashing R-Truth to the sounds of classical music. R-Truth appeared behind him in the ring and attacked The Bizarre One. Goldust retreated. If R-Truth doesn't die Sunday...I just don't know.

Curt Hawkins insulted fans for not believing in him. Seth Rollins interrupted him, flooring with a shot to the head before the bell rang. Rollins hit a single move to put away the heel. Was this match needed? No. Was this match just to fill time? Yes. The Kingslayer ranted about Bray Wyatt not being the god he claims to be. He called Wyatt a coward before walking back up the entrance ramp. We already know Wyatt's losing so what's the point anymore?! *cries*

Mustafa Ali had Neville reeling until the champ and scored two incredibly close near-falls, I mean I say close but everyone knew Neville had to win if no distractions were going to happen so.... The King of Cruiserweights swatted his foe off the top rope to slow Ali down. Neville then punished the babyface in the corner. Ali wasn't able to avoid the onslaught and was soon caught in Rings of Saturn. Told ya so. Also Neville's facial impressions are great.

So in light of the recent mummy film failing, Bray went to the set of the 2001 movie The Mummy Returns. I hope it is, anyway. Bray Wyatt preached from a desert, talking about chaos and internal fire. Images of scorpions fighting flashed on the screen. And I don't care about this rivalry already He told Seth Rollins that he would realize his power when they met at Great Balls of Fire. Are Maggots show up on the ring canvas again? Cause if they ain't I'm not interested.

Angle told the champs backstage that Sheamus and Cesaro would face Matt and Jeff Hardy in a 30-minute Iron Match at Great Balls of Fire. Because we are just giving out these Iron Man matches out everywhere. Bet ya there'll be a ppv named after it in the next 5 years. Watch. The Hardy Boyz joined the commentary team to watch Finn Balor take on Cesaro.

The King of Swing managed to briefly ground Balor. The Irishman, though, slugged it out with his foe to battle back. Elias Samson's presence distracted Balor. The Drifter took a cheap shot, inspiring The Hardy Boyz to come down to the ring with their fists swinging. Balor emerged from the chaos, hit Coup De Grace and got the win.

BRAUN VS A CRUISERWEIGHT. I feel like this should be every main event of RAW. Give Braun the Cruiserweight championship and watch the magic happen!
Backstage, Strowman demanded more competition after hearing Reigns wasn't at Raw. Elsewhere, Titus O'Neil convinced Apollo Crews to fight The Monster Among Men. Because The Titus Brand need tv time. Strowman paced in the ring before he talked about his much hatred for Reigns. He promised The Big Dog would end up in the ambulance at Great Balls of Fire. Sorry, I meant The Big DAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWG.

Strowman dominated Crews. That's the entire match. O'Neil tried to fight the big man; Strowman mauled him, too. Strowman is like Vince in some ways. Hates skinny and small guys and have addictions with Roman Reigns. Maybe when Reigns goes to crawl away from Vince's bed, Vince screams "I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!" This is now giving me creepy thoughts. Ew. Moving on.

Strowman dragged Crews into an ambulance and shut the doors. The driver didn't pull away as instructed. Reigns revealed himself to be in the cab driver. And the crowd booed. Cause it's Roman Reigns. But then he just casually SPEARED BRAUN OFF THE STAGE SMACKDOWN VS RAW STORY DESIGNED STYLE! OMGGGGGG!

Solid Snake

ɪɴғɪɴɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴀᴛ ʟɪᴛᴛᴇʀ
First off why does Jacob have to do the rate titles the American way when I'm British....Come on, man. I have to reverse my own date here. Anyway rate this episode of RAW or a cat dies. Not kidding. I'm ready to kill some cats. Also discuss stuff about it.
You want to go little lady? :tough:

Grievous 3D

Iron Forged Orgasmatron
~ Okay RAW...let me have a look...

~ So...Cass vs. Enzo at "Burning Cock & Balls"?

~ I am sick to death of watching Nia Jax "ragdoll" other women. Like it is literally
it is putting me off watching women's wrestling on RAW...the same way Ellsworth
is ruining the SmackDown women's division for me.

You know what would have been a more interesting match...Alexa & Emma vs.
Sasha & Bayley.

~ And now Bayley is nearly completely covered in dirt, 6 feet under. Jesus...
Triple H didn't bury anyone as bad as the RAW creative/bookers have buried Bayley.

I actually feel bad for all the shit I dumped on Bayley. I wasn't her fault I
started to hate her...It was her booking.

~ Now I will admit its fantastic to see Sasha make Alexa tap out...in fact the
only thing better would be to see Sasha actually tap Alexa...

*Pauses while a few mental images flash through his mind*

But...I'm guessing Alexa will retain at "Burning Cock & Balls" either through
cheating herself...or with Nia Jax helping her to "earn" a title shot at SummerSlam.

~ BRAUN!!!

~ Wasn't this Cedric Alexander/Noam Dar/Alicia Fox feud over like months ago?

~ I'm so over the Miz/Ambrose feud...SKIP!!!

~ Its amazing how RAW can take performers I really like (Alexa Bliss, Bray,
Slater, Rhyno, Miz) and make them seem boring and stale...or over exposed and
over pushed.

~ I don't care about the Titus Brand...SKIP!!!

~ I don't care about the Goldust/Truth feud...SKIP!!!

~ A 30 minute Ironman tag team match? Okay...as long as Sasha/Alexa goes for
longer than 6 minutes then I'm okay with it.

~ Isn't Seth Rollins above squash matches against Curt Hawkins? SKIP!!!

~ Bray keeps talking but I don't care anymore...SKIP!!!

~ Can we just skip to the moment where Joe chokes out Brock and wins the Universal title?

~ Neville wins another match as the only strongly booked champion in the entire

~ Bray is still talking and I still don't care...SKIP!!!

~ God I hope Sasha defeats Alexa for the title...which of course means she won't...but...
a man can dream.

~ You know I heard there is an alternate dimension where Cesaro vs. Finn Balor
is a Wrestlemania main event for the World title.

Wish I was living in that dimension.

~ BRAUN!!!

~ [HASHTAG]#IgnoreReigns[/HASHTAG]

And I'm guessing Emma, Mickie James & Dana Brooke were given the night off.

I'm Done...

Koko B.

The Lunatic Fringe
Rising Star
I thought Dean on commentary was great, especially when he was making fun of the "great balls of fire" name. It was hilarious that the other announcers completely ignored his comment like he never said it. I bet this means Dean will get buried for a few months as punishment because he dared to cross the boss.

Killer Orange Cat

Quiet You
I sincerely fell asleep during the show, something I don't think I've ever really done. I think that says a lot about how boring it actually was because I can almost always watch any wrestling.

First off why does Jacob have to do the rate titles the American way when I'm British....Come on, man. I have to reverse my own date here. Anyway rate this episode of RAW or a cat dies. Not kidding. I'm ready to kill some cats. Also discuss stuff about it.
I'll make you a deal, I'll use the British dates if you take our government and give us yours.
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Prince Bálor

I'm kind of a big deal
It was a decent go-home show. 6/10

Things I liked:
- The opening segment with Enzo Amore. He cut a good promo and hopefully the match at GBOF will be entertaining.

- The MizTV segment was decent.

- The Miz vs Slater was solid with the right man winning ahead of the PPV.

- The Shattered Truth stuff was OK, I guess. I don't really care for it, but it wasn't bad.

- Joe/Brock stuff was good.

- Bálor vs Cesaro was good. I also appreciate the fact that the closing moments of the match helped build/hype the Hardyz/Cesaro & Sheamus, as well as Bálor/Samson feud.

- The closing segment with Strowman was good. Strowman destroying people is always fun. This was sick, by the way:

Oh, and Roman/Strowman brawl was good. Looking forward to the match on Sunday. Also, that Spear by Roman was great, man!

Things I didn't like or skipped:
- The CW and women's division stuff, Rollins vs Hawkins and Bray's promo.
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The Lunatic Fringe
Rising Star
I wouldn't exactly call it a solid show but for the most part I actually enjoyed it being it had plenty of good moments or spots so went ahead and gave it a 7/10. Thoughts/notes:

- Opening promo from Enzo was rock solid. We obviously all know Enzo can talk but, man, this was a really awesome promo topped off by a couple of great lines such as "you're nothing more than a 7 foot tall catchphrase that I wrote" or calling him a...C-asshole.

- Poor Bailey...

- Being that on almost every show we will see or hear something totally stupid or something that flat out makes zero sense, this is the part where I will call for the "storyline stupidity moment of the week".

So, Strowman is backstage with Kurt Angle talking about how he thinks Roman may not show up at the GBOF PPV this Sunday after how things went down the previous week on RAW. Kurt's response? My "sources" tell me he'll be there. I mean, seriously? Your...sources? Aren't you the fucking general manager of the show? Aren't you supposed to know already for a fact if any of your superstars will be fit to compete in an upcoming show, let alone a PPV? How is the GM of RAW relying on...sources? Idk, just found that line totally dumb...

- Miz TV was pretty entertaining and I really liked the fact that they had Miz throw a couple of stabs on the Ball's (and I don't mean the PPV) after that horrendous segment last week.

- I wish they had Goldust go back to the entrance with the robe and wig...

- Neville and Mustafa Ali had a great match. Great chemistry between these two and I can only imagine what they could do on a PPV stage if given like 10-15 minutes. That DDT Mustafa Ali pulled out was sick...Wish I could be as possitve for the other CW match of the evening...

- Cesaro vs. Balor. Quite intruiging, though a bit sloppy. Hardyz on commentary were great...Well, Matt was and he went ahead and threw in a couple of "broken" lines which I found quite interesting. If WWE are allowing him to do that, I'm guessing this means we are getting close...

- Samoe Joe/Brock Lesnar segment...Just when you think things can't get any better. Brilliant promo and it came out so natural, I very much even doubt it was scripted. THIS is how you build a fucking big match for a PPV....

-...unlike Seth and Bray which none of us really give a shit about....

- Braaaaaun. Poor Apollo man but what a fucking sick spot that was... Holly shit !!!....See, now that's a spot that actually deserved that chant....

- No real progress in regards to the Kurt Angle storyline aside a reference made by the Miz. It's rather obvious that they are buying some time till Summerslam and being that the rumored match has always been Angle vs. HHH, I wonder if the reveal will be something along the lines of the old love triangle storyline that WWE (well, HHH for that matter) eventually scratched being it wouldn't be "believable". Could it be leaked photos of Stephanie and Kurt being surfaced after all these years, if indeed there was an affair back then?
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