Sometimes it feels like every Raw creative meeting goes like this:
“Okay, which 10 superstars are we going to have wrestle each other in a combination of 3 or 4 different matches throughout this 3 hour show?”
What are you doing, WWE? All these restarts and multiple matches with the same people each week. Multiple segments just don’t click for me. Look if you’re enjoying Raw, more power to you my friend. This is not a good show.
Peacock and Bad Bunny are fine. I don’t mind them. I just want to be entertained on Monday nights. I am not entertained for the most part. When I say Raw is a YouTube clip show, I mean it! Everything you can click on below, is all you really need to watch. That’s why I do this for all of you.
Let’s talk about the main hits and misses of this show. For a full rundown of Raw, check out the live blog by Rev. Claire Elizabeth!
Magical bait and switch
Alexa Bliss recapped Orton’s recap of his recap of the previous week’s events. Recap-ception!
She just wanted to have some fun with Asuka last week, but Asuka decided that she didn’t want to play nice. So now she has the opportunity to get herself a shiny new toy.
They did it again.
Asuka was actually having a great first half, until they went right back to the magical stuff. Asuka was sent to the outside, and then a rocking horse appeared in the ring. Then they came back from break and the rocking horse was gone. No explanation for where it went or what happened during the break.
Throughout the match, Alexa was smiling more than showing hurt. Asuka got back into a groove, and then music played and Alexa was back in her old gear crying and she looked like she was in a trance but was able to sidestep Asuka. And the music played again and the lights went out. Alexa turned into goth Alexa again.
Asuka tried the Asuka lock but Alexa was able to power out of it and Mandible Clawed Asuka.
And then mask-less Orton appeared and RKO’d Alexa. No contest. Show ends.
Alright. I should have seen this coming. If you also didn’t see it coming, we’re in the same boat.
Hey, where was Charlotte? You know, Asuka’s tag team partner? Why is she just out there all alone? It’s maddening. On top of that, Asuka is once again playing third wheel in someone else’s feud. Uuuuuuugh! WHY?!? They could have just… not booked this match! But what do I know? I’m just a nerd recapping wrestling.
This was awful
This was a disaster. It started as Charlotte vs. Shayna and that was getting fun until Nia interfered. Disqualification.
Then Mandy and Dana came out to help Charlotte and Lacey came out too. They had a six woman tag. Then Shayna missed the count and that match ended in a count out.
Restart! … come on, man.
Hey, where was Asuka? You know, Charlotte’s tag team partner?
Charlotte and Asuka are the tag team champions. If commentary didn’t occasionally remind us, we’d never know. Seriously. Charlotte was involved in a two on one situation and a six woman tag AND a restart of the six woman tag, and not one time did Asuka make an appearance. So does Asuka not care about her supposed friend and tag team partner? She’s essentially involved in two feuds by herself.
Make it make sense for me, Cagesiders.
Edge is back
Edge said 2020 has taught him that you can’t sleep on tomorrow.
Pick yourself up and keep walking forward. Ten years ago, after WrestleMania 27, he went to bed as World Heavyweight Champion, but within a week he had to forfeit his title and his career, which was his ultimate dream.
He got the fire back in his gut to make him fight for nine years to get his career back. And then at Backlash, Randy Orton tore his tricep and gave him another reminder of how what you hold dear can be torn away from you.
And now, he’s back and he’s in the Royal Rumble on Sunday!
This is being highlighted because it was as powerful as Kevin Owens’ promo last Friday. Now him being in the match, could be interesting. Could he win? Maybe! He might be in the final four.
I’m just extremely happy to see him again. His and Orton’s promos from back in April and May were real highlights.
Cedric might be in trouble
I just want to say before all this, Shelton Benjamin forgot to take his mask off before coming out and quickly took it off when he realized and it was a genuinely hilarious moment.
Alexander, Benjamin, and Lashley had a special surprise present for MVP for being the reason why all of them are wearing gold (and silver! Yes the tag titles are not gold and I’ll never call them a color they aren’t). It was a nice necklace with big letters THB. R-Truth crashed the party and Lashley was telling him to get in the ring, but all the 24/7 fodder came out and brawled with Hurt Business. Riddle came in and hit MVP in the face and got out quick.
Riddle started with Benjamin and both had nice urgency to put each other away. Benjamin had Riddle in a nasty submission and Riddle kept fighting his way out. Riddle locked in a Guillotine and Benjamin got out of it but Riddle got a near fall. Alexander tried interfering but it distracted the referee as Benjamin had Riddle pinned, and you know what that means. Riddle switched the roll up and got the win.
MVP was next but he was very busy trying to get Benjamin and Alexander to stop the infighting, and the referee rang the bell and Riddle immediately made him tap out. Welp. Not really a well-oiled machine here.
Alexander was last, and he did a gut buster and Riddle was able to kick out. Riddle bounced off the ropes right into an explosive drop kick, and then Alexander and Benjamin started fighting with each other again. MVP was coaching Alexander and not getting any thanks for it. Alexander powerbombed him to try and get out of the triangle submission, and it didn’t work.
Cedric ended up having the best match out of everyone and it was interesting to see that MVP now is even getting on his case. The coaching was pretty direct, and he spent more of Shelton’s time focusing on him instead of coaching Shelton, who was also not winning. It’s setting up a babyface break for Cedric, but we’ll see.
Lashley came out at the end and put Riddle in the Hurt Lock. I’m intrigued to see how the break up happens since Cedric and Shelton are tag champs. Though if he’s in any way involved in making Lashley lose, he may not be safe.
Drew came out and said things.
Miz and Morrison came out and said things.
Goldberg did the thing.
Goldberg and Drew speared and Claymored Miz and Morrison.
Xavier Woods defeated Slapjack
Woods and Slapjack actually ended up having the most exciting match out of all the RETRIBUTION boys. Woods hit a dropkick right off the bat. Slapjack tried getting some offense in with a back body drop, but Woods fired up with the Honor Roll. Ali ordered T-Bar to shut him down, but Woods got the win.
After the match, Ali looked like he was about to hit Woods with a chair, but put it down and sat in it instead. Reckoning gave him a mic, and he asked Woods to deliver a message to Kofi. He’s out of the Royal Rumble, and tell him that Mustafa Ali is replacing him. Absolutely brilliant promo work here.
Sheamus defeated Morrison / Miz and Morrison defeated Sheamus
Sheamus hasn’t had a bad match in recent memory. He did the Irish Curse backbreaker for a near fall, but Morrison caught him midair and took out his left knee. Morrison hooked his leg in a knee bar and Sheamus knocked Morrison loopy so he could get out of it. Sheamus powerbombed him for another near fall. White Noise got him the win. And then Miz grabbed a mic and said that he should now face both Miz and Morrison in a handicap match…
Very stupid for agreeing to this, sir. Miz and Morrison dominated for most of the match, until he eliminated Morrison from the Royal Ru… oh sorry no just threw Morrison over the top rope regularly. If you were playing a drinking game when commentary said “If this happens on Sunday…” you were drunk at this point. Sheamus went to the top rope and knocked both Miz and Morrison down. Sheamus Brogue Kicked Morrison and Miz gave him the Skull Crushing Finale to win.
AJ Styles defeated R-Truth
R-Truth was put on the “qualify for the Royal Rumble list”, so the gatekeeper of the Royal Rumble had another match to try and keep someone else out. He succeeded with the Calf Crusher, but the match had its moments. They did the Omos is gigantic spot again which I love, and Truth did the Five Knuckle Shuffle like his idol. This was harmless fun.
What were your thoughts, Cagesiders?