Raw results: Punk crashes J.R. appreciation night; Team Hell No finds its groove

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  1. Raw results: Punk crashes J.R. appreciation night; Team Hell No finds its groove



    OKLAHOMA CITY — The Voice of the Voiceless, CM Punk, took to the airwaves as Raw began, throwing accusations of cowardice in the general direction of both John Cena and Mick Foley. Punk condemned them for their actions the previous week (Cena for battering Punk with a lead pipe while the WWE Champion's back was turned and Foley for a perceived act of disrespect in the locker room area as Raw went to black). While The Second City Saint showed little to no remorse for his attack on The Hardcore Legend in the locker room, he did say that Mrs. Foley's Baby Boy managed to reach Punk with his impassioned plea to face John Cena at Hell in a Cell for the WWE Title. That said, he must not have reached the WWE Champion all too well, because despite Foley's "eloquent" speech, the match was still not going to happen.

    With that business settled, The Voice of the Voice of the Voiceless, Paul Heyman, was next to step up to the mic. He took Raw General Manager AJ Lee to task for striking him last week following the mad scientist's marriage proposal and called for her termination as GM for violating a previous edict by the WWE Board of Directors preventing AJ from putting her hands on any competitors, managers or the like ever again. And who would fill the power void left by Miss Lee's hypothetical removal from power? Paul Heyman.

    Vickie Guerrero, however, was not having it. Flanked by Dolph Ziggler, the "Queen Diva" strode to the ring with great purpose and made her case for assuming the GM position. Jaw-jacking followed, which left The Showoff to assume the unlikely role of peacekeeper: What if, Ziggler posed, Vickie and Heyman were to team up as Co-GMs following AJ's potential ouster.

    This left AJ no choice but to make her presence known, revealing to her assembled, would-be usurpers that the Board of Directors had placed her on probation, and she had hired an "Executive Coach" to help her through an evaluation period. Which promptly brought out ...

    Daniel Bryan?

    Yes (yes, yes, yes), Team Hell No's bearded technical maven stormed down to the ring, somehow managing between his apoplectic screams of "NO!" to assert that AJ's issues have been compounded by her dumping at the hands of Bryan following his WrestleMania loss. Bryan nefariously twiddled his beard as he extolled his own physical virtues ("I AM HANDSOME!!!!") and championship acumen ("I'M THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!!"). This brought out Kane, who tossed a compliment AJ's way ("she is a phenomenal kisser!") before correcting one of Bryan's points: that Kane, not Bryan, was the Tag Team Champions. 

    Chaos followed, with Kane, Bryan, Ziggler, Punk, Vickie and Heyman all screaming over each other before AJ regained control of the masses. "This is my show," seethed the boss lady, decreeing that the night's main event would be Punk & Ziggler facing the WWE Tag Team Champions, Team Hell No.

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