News SmackDown Live – Abridged

Wrestling News

The People's Champion
Legend
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In which E smells folks.

discount Marvel movie intro, then/now/whatever

ELIAS: hey Shane, sorry I lost at MITB, imma be in your corner at Showdown

SHANE: nah, you be in my corner tonite

ELIAS: k

it’s a new day yes it is

KOFI: tonight’s great

XAVIER: cause E’s under this sheet

nah it’s some dude

KOFI: leave

DUDE: k

E: here now tho

XAVIER, KOFI: yay

E: wanna smell y’all

XAVIER: very yep

KOFI: um

E: tweet game strong

XAVIER: The Man’s mom’s taken

E: is she tho

KOFI: Bork’s got a case

XAVIER: Kofi won at MITB

suddenly KO and a hipster who hates everything

E: brb eatin wrapping paper

SAMI: out for 9 months, didn’t get anything

NEW DAY: not gettin ya anything

KO: k bye

SAMI: imma dual wield mics, party sucks, y’all suck, Universe sucks

XAVIER: honk

SAMI: tryin to talk

XAVIER: HONK

SAMI: but

XAVIER: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK

SAMI: imma still beat Kofi

KOFI: nah

meanwhile backstage

MELLA: hey Truth where you at

TRUTH: hidin under a wig, got a belt now, ain’t great, had it 24 hrs, 7 more to go

MELLA: um nah but imma help ya

ALI’s fightin ANDRADE

ANDRADE: have a corner, imma chop

ALI: ya missed, ropethrow

ANDRADE: tranquilo tho, clothesline pin

ALI: nah, flippyspike pin

ANDRADE: also nah

ALI: way too early huh

ANDRADE: yep, face in peril first

ALI does til

ALI: have a floor, imma rallydive

ANDRADE: still standin

ALI: have another

ANDRADE: that did it, gettin back in the ring, more beatemups for ya

BEAR’s cable goes out til

ALI: crucifix pin

ANDRADE: k

MANDY: sup I’m here now

and here’s MELLA and TRUTH

BEAR: not a great plan Truth

MELLA and MANDY fight til

ENTIRE LOCKER ROOM: hi Truth

TRUTH: imma grab Mella, run awayyy

INTERVIEWER: hey Bayley, you cashed and got a belt, how bout that

BAYLEY: yep, proved folks wrong

INTERVIEWER: you’re champ now, how bout that

BAYLEY: hope folks fight me

meanwhile TRUTH’s still runnin, also backstage

E: very ow

XAVIER: said it was KO

BEAR: checks out

KOFI: brb imma kill a hipster

he’s fightin SAMI

KOFI: have anger

SAMI: have the floor and some stairs and various beatemups

KOFI: angerkick

SAMI: ow, my turn, top rope suplex pin

KOFI: nah

SAMI: heluva k-

KOFI: punches instead, trouble in paradise pin

SAMI: k

suddenly a walrus with a case

KOFI: hi where’s Bork

DOLPH: surprise

KOFI: oh

DOLPH murderdeathkills KOFI

DOCS: stretcherjob time

KOFI: nah but very ow

BEAR: guess Dolph’s a Paul Heyman guy

meanwhile outside

ELIAS: sup Roman, imma strum on a truck

ROMAN: neat

INTERVIEWER: hey The Man, lost a belt, how bout that

THE MAN: glad Bayley has it, wanna fight her tho

BAYLEY: sounds good but later

now LACEY/CHARLOTTE’s fightin BAYLEY/THE MAN

BAYLEY: Charlotte gets a corner

CHARLOTTE: nah you do

BAYLEY: so face in perilin already

LACEY: tag, also yep

she does til

THE MAN: tag, comin for Charlotte

CHARLOTTE: corner offense, big boot, figure f-

THE MAN: rollypin

CHARLOTTE: nah, rollypin

THE MAN: nah, disarmher

LACEY: women’s right

BAYLEY: tag, rollypin

CHARLOTTE: k

meanwhile backstage

JINDER: hi Truth, pin

TRUTH: nah, run awayyy

BTEAM: also pin

TRUTH: nah, still runnin

SARAH: hey Dolph, why’d you murderdeathkill Kofi, how bout that

DOLPH: imma go tell Universe

UNIVERSE: WELL

DOLPH: Kofi fought hard, won the belt, shoulda been me, imma fight Kofi at Showdown, then Universe’ll love me

here’s a heel dad with money

SHANE: here’s Elias

ELIAS: imma strum some

he’s fightin ROMAN

ROMAN: have a floor, drive by, offense, etc.

SHANE: hi

ROMAN: I am very distracted

ELIAS: grapefruit kick pin

ROMAN: nah but ow

ELIAS: have a post and floorbeef

ROMAN: and that is

ELIAS: beef undertaken on a floor

ROMAN: ah

ELIAS: also ropethrows

ROMAN: cornerpunches, clothesline, time to overcome things

SHANE: rather ya didn’t

ELIAS: faceknee powerbomb pin

ROMAN: nah still overcomin things, superman punch pin

SHANE: foot on rope

ROMAN: k that’s it, driveby to Shane

ELIAS: moar floorbeef then, elbowdrop pin

ROMAN: nah still overcomin things

SHANE: hey Elias have a guitar

ELIAS: yay imma smash

ROMAN: nah, spear pin

ELIAS: k

SHANE: beatemups tho

ROMAN: superman punch

SHANE: very ow

DREW: o hai, claymore

ROMAN: oh

ROMAN overcomes most things

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