The Official Cesaro Facts Thread

Discussion in 'Locker Room' started by WarMachine, Feb 23, 2014.

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  1. Since this got so popular in the Elimination Chamber LD, I thought that this was deserving of it's own thread. So here goes.

    Cesaro can make a Happy Meal cry

    Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Cesaro pajamas

    Cesaro doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

    Enough from me at this time.
  2. Hell is Cesaro shaking his head in disapproval at you for eternity.

    Cesaro can make a rap video without booties and cars.

    Cesaro can stop time by not breathing.
  3. Cesaro can stop a bullet with one finger

    Cesaro created the Universe but gave the credit to God

    God Fear Cesaro.
  4. Cesaro can make a triangle with 2 right angles

    Cesaro doesn't have hair on his balls because hair doesn't grow on steel

    Cesaro doesn't win he allows people to lose
  5. Cesaro can steal Christmas for the Grinch

    Triple H, Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff and John Cena can bury wrestlers. But Cesaro can bury souls

    UFOs don't exist. Just Cesaro searching for his next victim

    Cockroaches are said to be the only thing that will survive after a nuclear bomb, nothing survives after a Cesaro swing
  6. I'd appreciate real facts than random ones trying to copy the whole Chuck Norris meme thing.

    Real fact: SPOILER FTR: Cesaro swung Randy Orton 30 times at the Elimination Chamber 2014 PPV.
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