Theories Why Marriage Is Failing?

Discussion in 'Serious Topics & Debates' started by Neptune, Oct 18, 2015.

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  1. I feel like communication is the number one reason marriage fails. Think about it like this... People get into a relationship, jump right into sex, move in together, maybe have kids, then get married... They tend to skip over something that is important to every relationship and that is being on the same page. If you rush through a relationship, never really speaking about your fears, your beliefs, what is okay, what is not okay... basically biting your tongue - you will wake up one day very unhappy.

    People are completely skipping out on becoming friends. They just glide over it on raging hormones and fun sex, great company, and laughs. With every marriage that does last and does succeed... It has nothing to do with kids, or the sex, or the money... It is all about communication.

    If you have to hold back feelings or walk on broken glass, how happy will you be 10 years from that point?

    If you want to know if you are compatible enough with someone for a lifetime commitment, let it all hang out! Let your silly, crazy, stupid sides show. Let your fears pour out. Tell your partner that you hate what you hate and you love what you love. Speak to them like they are your best friend, because that is just what they should be.

    I am sick of women blaming divorce on men for being pigs and only caring about sex. And men blaming women for not wanting sex. If you don't have good communication with your clothes on, how well do you think you will do with them off? Specially after 5, 10, or 20 years of it!

    A bit of a rant. I read a post on this. I thought it was interested and wanted to share my thoughts.
    What do you think? Is communication the number one killer of marriage?
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  2. Actually, lack of sex is actually a acceptable term for divorce in certain areas. A relationship with sex is a healthy one, when it's consensual of course.

    Divorce rates are actually on a downward trend, granted it was from a very high point in divorce rates for America.

    I think now a days, you just have more people who are willing to divorce. It could be from the culture today to just now that woman aren't as oppressed as they use to be in marriages.
  3. I think it is not a "till death do we part" thing anymore to a lot of people. And yes, lack of sex often leads to cheating but it doesn't always mean divorce. Believe it or not, I know quite a few older men and women who were cheated on in marriage and they stayed.

    Divorce is on a downward trend because gay rights on marriage have been accepted. That alone will decrease the rates. Heck, they will probably honor marriage better than many religious people do. lol
  4. People nowadays want something fresh everyday. Not the same hag. I find it stupid that divorcing is the cool thing to do, but what isn't stupid about popular trends in society?
    • Agree Agree x 1
  5. If you don't want to commit for life, then don't get married. Soon enough they will complain about benefits saying they want what married people have... lol It is a never ending "grab and bag" fest with America. Get all you can while you can, and heck, if you decide you no longer want it...?? Well piss is all away, no one cares! lol
  6. I don't think Marriage was ever a raging success in first place. Difference is that the same people that would be living miserable and abusive relationships in the past are divorcing today. I say good riddance, If you can't keep the fire lit, then you shouldn't be married. Also, women are not as subservient today, so instead of staying married to a douche, they give him a "Fuck you" and pack their bags.

    Not to mention that marriage is not just a symbolic gesture of love, it's a way to become economically stable, as most countries will give you less bureaucracy to deal with if you just marry the person you're going to live with long-term. Even if you're just going to be together for just 5 years, it's still less of a headache to be married than simply dating and living together.
  7. Honestly, in the US, marriage doesn't even mean much. In most countries, it's to settle down and get stable or to have kids. In the US, most people are banging and living together, years before they get married. What's really the point? Hell, most people have kids before their married together.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  8. Society has forgotten what it means to actually fix something, if it seems like its messing up. Everything is disposable, no matter how expensive it is. The Cars we drive, are no longer "built to last", My mom was given my Grandma's VW Rabbit, and it only had to have a few minor repairs, over two generations...yet, consumer reports, state that the average life of a new car is only 8 years or 150k miles. We have been taught that it's okay to take most things for granted. But, my grandparents survived by living separately for years, and lord, did they argue. But, you let someone else butt in. Their love remained.

    We're a hook-up society, too. We've forgotten that relationships aren't just objects to be tossed out like the weeks rubbish. It's sad, we suffer, by suppressing it, and out children suffer, even more because they see us suppress our feelings, think that's how they're supposed to do things, and our relationships with them can be lost in the mix.

    I'm not preaching at anyone, I'm speaking here from what I've seen, and what I've done. Let me go on and say, typing this has made me realize a few things about my own relationships, too. You know you've done a good job, when you've managed to blast yourself on the internet. :emoji_stuck_out_tongue:
    • Like Like x 1
  9. As a happily married man of 8 years, I found this especially funny. I know it's not meant to be, but it is. IDK what that says.
  10. Yeah, Right... Point me in the direction where One or Two ppl in a marriage are actually HAPPY Being with each other. Every Marriage that I see always hv couples Argueing about who knows. If I ever Got Married, I dnt want me and my Significant other to argue all the time. What happened to just sitting down and talking things over with? Just stateing MY Opinion is all.
  11. My Mother cant stand her Ex Husband. Granite he was never really there to help raise me, She got divorced after 4 or so yrs of being married. He always ran around with other women. Even though he's My Dad and always will be. In my mind anyways. I cant even say My Dad's name around her without her exploding in Anger. :emoji_slight_frown: . Good Grief!
  12. Less people getting married now so the ones that do tend to be a bit more serious about it.

    Over here they simplified it. Rather than get married you just find a women you don''t like and buy her a house.
  13. #13 Stone Cold X, Aug 23, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2017
    I was reading this thread at work, and while you guys nailed most of the things in this thread... There are darker sides to relationships and marriage.

    The problem really revolves around women. There's no double standard among women today. Some women act like they're preaching to a choir (for whatever belief or religious belief they have). I met a women in 2003. I fell in love with her. She, to me, was the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid my eyes on at that point. My high school crush was that, but has been replaced by this one. She was everything I ever wanted in a woman ...and then some. (What I mean by that, is even though the other features was not part of my overall ideal, I liked what I was seeing.)

    I tried befriending her, tried to slowly take my sweet time flirting, becoming friends, yadda yadda. I loved her infectious enthusiasm, I loved her smile, her highs, and lows. The problem is, she portrays herself as a player by teasing just about everyone, and I mean everyone. She claims that she doesn't like me, but her hints, clues, and the actual flirting tells me otherwise. You can't fool me, you can't lie to me. I'll know from a mile away.

    I don't know about you guys but when a man lays down on a bed, and opens his legs far apart from each other, and a woman looks at you with this - I dunno - dirty grin on her face - I don't know about you, but that to me is as big a hint as any. Or a woman sitting on your fucking lap, not once but twice. Or strips your shirt open so she can see your body. And I left it open so she understands that I am fucking confident. It's a long story, but I am trying to drive to a point.

    She teases everyone, and then gets into bed with folks that ...she'll fuck on the spot. Therein lies the problem, little does she realize - from everyone else's perspective - she comes off as a fucking whore, a slut. And I tried to tell her, bluntly, but she gets mad at me. She thinks I'm calling her names, but it's quite the opposite. How can you marry a man that you love with all your heart and soul, if you're sleeping around? Really. If you like a big banana, fine. Just.. don't brag about it to other people - people will get the wrong idea of who you really are.

    I argued with her long after her best friend stopped contact and said never to come back. Once she said "Go away." I did. She got married with some guy, just to spite me. Or to show off to her friends that she has a man with big arms, and a big banana. That didn't work, though. I learned by accident, that she wanted to get married, but didn't have faith in herself that she'd find "The One." Uh, lady. It's this guy. Yeah, moi. Anyway, I smiled, and walked away. That could've been mine, but hey. You want to look like a slut that only goes for men with big muscles, and big bananas? And be seen as a fucking whore? Be my guest!

    She claims that I need something. I can read through that and assume that she wants passion. She's dated a latino before, and doesn't realize that passion is a latino trait. I have it right in front of her this whole time, and she doesn't even realize it. The funny part is, she's a quiet person, and so am I. She took my quietness as non-passion. *rolleyes*

    She claims we could've been best friends, and never wanted to marry me - funny thing is... I didn't think that far enough, yet. I just... I loved her. Is that too much to fucking ask? Is it too much to ask to just hold hands, hug, cuddle, kiss, being in love, and have sex? God. I swear... Women just overthink too much.
  14. I still believe that Neptune was Britta.
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