Truth about why I'm not on so often..

Discussion in 'Locker Room' started by Zamorakian, Sep 13, 2012.

  1. Not going to lie and say I have problems with school or something.

    I'm just going to tell you the truth why I am not so on. On July 14th 2012 (Which is this year) my mom passed away of a heart attack (probably because her mother passed away on the same day but two years back and she couldn't handle it) It was her birthday, she despised the day because it was the day her mother died and she was always sad when it was the 14th of July, and it made me sad too because it's her birthday and I fucking hate how it had to happen on that day.

    It was 6 AM, I heard my little brother cry so I jumped out of bed and ran downstairs to see what happened, and there she was, my only hero lying on the floor not able to catch her breath. I couldn't believe my eyes and I hoped it was a dream but it wasn't. The EMTs came as fast as they could. They stretchered her out to the ambulance and tried to save her on the way to the hospital, they did everything they could because I saw it all on the way as I was inside the car. I couldn't take it so I'm going to be honest with you and say that I cried like a fucking baby and to this day I can't believe it. They tried to revive her but it wouldn't work and I heard them trying their best to do it as I heard one of them shout offensive words as he was trying to revive her. After about 20 minutes they came out of the room and told us "We are deeply saddened to say this but your mother has passed away". I was like what the fuck? I couldn't believe it and I went in to check, and they were right. She died. Such a strong woman and I couldn't believe she didn't make it. Many people make it past heart attacks. But my mom decided to leave this world. I will never forget what I saw.

    I don't really know what to do and what to say. I don't even know why I went out and said this on the Internet. She was the woman I came to when I had problems with school or anything related. She helped me through everything. She did everything to keep me away from drugs, alcohol and every bad thing there is. I wish I wasn't alive. I wish I was dead before it happened. I now know how people feel like when they lose their mother/father.

    The house is so empty. Everybody is still silent. No one hardly speaks anymore. We're all quiet and all we do is play games or surf the Internet. I can't fucking understand this. You guys are the closest people I have because nowadays friends are shit. They still think I'm over it and all but heck I'm not. The pain won't stop and it won't do that not even in a few years because this woman was someone I loved more than anything in this world. I feel like speaking to someone and I thought you guys are one of the nicest people on this planet and even though I've had troubles here with a few users I still see you as a big family that loves the same thing as I do. To be honest I hope she's having a good time with her mother up there. That's all I hope for.

    I just wanted to let this out and let you know that I am inactive becauseof this. I'm not home like I used to be because I've started working in my father's company which he runs a few miles from home. I work alot and I do not have alot of spare time to check stuff and if I do then it'll most likely be my hotmail account and other important things. I usually go on WWEForums when I have time but that is like for a period of five minutes or something where I quickly go on to type a status or post. You know I love you guys and I hope there's a few caring people here because I know there is. I am really tired and I feel like crying whenever I think about it and to be honest while writing this post halfways a few tears fell. I am strong but I hope you understand me that she means more than anything in this world to me and that I can't take it that she's gone and I hope you guys respect that.

    I am sorry if this was too long to read or something you definitely didn't care about whatsoever but I had to let it out because I'm an honest man and I'm sure you all love honesty. Thank you for reading those who read this and thank you for caring for those who actually care. If you want to talk I can talk just hit the PM button and ask for my Skype username.

    @[Sackfist] - I am sorry dude but I just don't have alot of time for FedX, I wish I could come back + I made a mess there and you guys don't need a bad guy like me.
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  2. Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your mum. I hope you're okay, or soon will be. I suppose it's a positive thing that you've told us about this as it's the first step towards accepting it. Stay strong brother.
  3. I'm terribly sorry about your loss, Ziggles. My father passed away on November 26th of last year, so I know how it feels. It was the day after Thanksgiving and he was the thing I was most thankful for, and he was just taken away from me. I cried once, that's it. I just try to be strong for my families sake. It was just so sudden. I don't know how you feel, but I still feel like shit. I'm constantly depressed over it and I just tear up thinking about what things he's missing in my life. He will never see me get married or see me graduate high school and see my grow up. It's just sad. It's just unfair. I'd suggest getting counselling or something of the like. It's nearly a year later now and I still think about him everyday. I hope that some day you'll be able to get over it.

    My deepest condolences for you and your family.
  4. You know how Dolph's posted that thread on what was the most liked post on here? I wish this was it, because you've had the courage to come on here and tell us all this.

    I'm really sorry to hear about this, and please, if you ever have any worries that you'd rather not share with someone you know, don't be afraid to drop me a PM at any point.

    As I said, really sorry to hear about this and R.I.P to your mother.
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  5. Firstly, I'm sorry for your loss, it's horrible for any family member to die when it's not expected, but when it's someone you're this close with it's definitely a lot harder.

    Please PM me as I know exactly what you're going through scene-by-scene and I would love to discuss it with you privately.

    As for you not being active, that's fine and we all completely understand. I'm sure everyone agrees when I say it's a huge compliment to us that you trust us enough and enjoy it here enough to share this. I hope everything improves in the future. For now have you thought about counselling? You say you're not that close with your mates and everything is silent at home, why not discuss it with someone who is there solely to listen to you and help? It's not everyone's cuppa' tea though but it's just a suggestion.
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  6. Hey... Don't worry about activity on an Internet forum....

    Heal yourself first and formost!

    Just come on here to get a few laughter and check what's happening.
  7. I've wondered why you seem so distant, now I know why.

    I am terribly sorry for your loss. There is no shame in admitting you feel sad or lonely. There is always someone who feels this way as well. These troubling times will pass, and the staff here are wonderful people. You can't buy friendship and in many ways you cannot find it. Sometimes friendship finds you and I'm glad WWEF is an environment you felt you could confide in.
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  8. Im still new to the forum and dont know you that well but im sorry for your loss.... Losing someone you care about deeply has got to be the hardest shit ever.