Kayfabe What To Talk About?

Discussion in 'WWE 2K16 Archive: PlayStation' started by Welsh-Wizard-97, Jul 31, 2016.

  1. Andersen: *Sigh* I've got a lot to talk about this week...

    The current WWEF Iron Man Champion appears on the titantron, laying on the sofa in his changing room in a manor that makes it appear that he's in therapy. But, since there ain't a man, woman or child in the known world that is a good enough therapist to cure Andy's problems, he's likely just talking to himself, or the camera man, or the mic boom guy that just revealed his presence on camera due to Buster not hiring professionals.

    Andersen: Where do I even start? Buster's nude pictures and how Ryan came to have them? Quite possible a touchy subject. Should I just trash my opponent in my one on one match this week? Meh, I don't even...

    Mic Guy: Uh, Andersen?

    Andy looks annoyed by this amateur's, amateurish antics.

    Andersen: What!? I'm trying to cut a freaking promo here!

    Mic Guy: Well, uh... Y Y You're not in a a a one on one match this week. Y You're in a Fatal-4-W Way.

    Andersen: Buddy, that sentence took way to long to get out. Never speak on camera, or in front of people ever again. But, I see. Who're my opponents?

    Mic Guy: Uh, Tony Stark...

    Okay stop right there... Tony Stark huh? The Anarchist's kid?

    Mic Guy: Yeah?

    Andersen: Is that a question or are you telling me that Robert Downey Jr is The Anarchist's son?

    Mic Guy: No, Tony Stark is though.

    Andersen: Listen, I'v seen Age Of Ultron, I know who Tony Stark is and I'm pretty sure that Robert Downey Jr Played Tony Stark. But, this ain't a movie and if you read what's on this title of mine...

    Andy grabs his Iron Man championship off of the floor in front of his sofa and signals the camera man come closer to get a good shot at it for the viewers.

    Andersen: What does that say? Mic Guy?

    Mic Guy: Uh, the WWEF I I Iron M Man Championship.

    Andersen: And the name on the name plate?

    Mic Guy: Andersen V Vega?

    Andersen: You are correct. So, this Tony Stark mofo is supposed to be Iron Man right?

    The Mic Guy doesn't answer.

    Andersen: Hey! You speak when spoken to ya twat! Am I correct?

    Mic Guy: In the movies, yes.

    Andersen: Well, this ain't a movie. In the totally real world of professional wrestling I am The Iron Man. I AM Iron Man!

    After shouting this to the heavens Andy starts humming a Black Sabbath song, before realising that he's cutting a promo and gets back to it.

    Andersen: And my other two opponents?

    Mic Guy: Uh, Chri...

    Actually, I don't care. I don't want to talk about them. Lets talk about why I'm still holding the Iron Man Championship shall we? Well, tonight we have Harrison Payne vs The Blade for the WWEF Iron Man Championship. But, until that match happens, I am still MY Iron Man Champion. Simple. Now what else shall we talk about?

    Mic Guy: Uh, how about Robert Blake's return and all that?

    Andersen: Okay then. Lets talk about that. Ryan Blake and Buster Gates, my bosses. The guys that pay me. The governing bodies that run this place. Two third of The Monarchy. What the fuck happened, huh? You may expect me to be in the know when it comes to this stuff and I thought I was but this surprised even me. So, lets start from the beginning. Nude photos are leaked onto the internet of Buster Gates and his mosquito sized member. Photos that we now know were leaked by Ryan Blake. How did he get those pictures? I have no clue. What Ryan Blake masturbates to is none of my business. Then Ryan Blake retires. I know what that's like, it sucks. Then we find out that Robert Blake, the World Heavyweight Champion on the B-Show, Exodus. Two letters away from ripping off a Yu-Gi-Oh card. And, now we find out that the real Generico is here, in Precision. And why didn't I come out to try and stop all that? Well, because I'm doing what's best for The Monarchy. I'm not choosing a side. Ryan and Buster are obviously having some serious differences and who am I to get in the way. But after Summerslam, it'll be sorted. After Robert Blake loses and proves once and for all that Precision is the best wrestling show in the world, it'll all be fine and we can go back to "Ruling This Shit"... Anything else to talk about?

    Mic Guy: Uh...

    A slow knocking can be heard resonating from outside Andy's locker room.

    Andersen: Yo!

    The door opens and in walks Jack Rogue, head down. Something is different about him. He looks, normal... er? Than usual. Granted, Donald Trump has proved that being ginger and having a tan just doesn't look right. Lets see if we can improve on this. Andy notices Jack's healthier looking skin tone, which looks like all the blood that Jack seemed to have been lacking for 20+ years just got shot back into his body, and smiles in surprise as he didn't expect Jack to actually go through with it.

    Andersen: Well damn! Jack you look like, uh... Like you could run for president! You look human now! This is great! Okay, lets not get ahead of ourselves here. Improvements still need to be made. Something needs changing.

    Andy gets off of his sofa and up to his feet.

    Andersen: I can't quite put my finger on it. Hmm. What do you guys think? Camera Man?

    Camera Man: Uh, I don't know.

    Andersen: Come on, there must be something that you see that needs changing.

    Camera Man: His eyes.

    Andersen: Yeah, his eyes. He's wearing light blue colour contacts. Remove those. they make you look creepy.

    Jack goes to remove them, but is stopped by Vega.

    Andersen: Not yet ya nitwit. There's something else. Mic Guy?

    Mic Guy: Uh... His nipples are too big.

    Andersen: Yea... Wait, what? No! Well, they are but that's not what I'm talking about you dirty bastard! Try again!

    Mic Guy: His... Hair?

    Andersen: YES! His hair! Is fucking atrocious. It's not so much style, but the colour. I know you can't help looking like Ron Weasley but you're gonna change that. You're going to a hair dresser to get your hair dyed. I don't really care what colour, just not ginger. You can't be representing me everywhere you go looking like what happened when Icarus flew too close to the sun. Yeah, hairdressers. Go on, bugger off... Shoo!

    Andy pats Jack on the head as he looks almost lost in sadness, no longer having control of his own life. He turns around and walks out of the room, and closes the door. Leaving Andy with a beaming smile on his face.

    Andersen: Damn, after I get his look down and sort his attitude out, he's gonna be amazing! Damn I can't wait!

    Andy starts to look around... Not quite knowing what to do.

    Andersen: Uh... Promo's over I guess... Get out. I got a shit load of Eevee's to catch if I want a Vaporeon. Go on!

    The titantron turns blank and the segment ends.


    @Geek773 @The Anarchist @impactking @SupaHeeroh @Gambino @Harrison @TheFrostyBlur @Solarxpixel
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